No, I don't want to touch your flag.

So I see some pretty weird stuff and meet some pretty strange people in my job. I deliver pharmacy drugs to homes and all sorts of places. There is this one little old guy I deliver to and he lives in an apartment building.

He has like 70 american flags all over his apartment, he always asks me to come in and touch them ( I ALWAYS refuse) and I make him come to the door instead of me going in.

Today he asked me if I would put mustard on his flags, and lick it off.

Yeah.

I don't like mustard.

O____________O

I don't like mustard, either.

WOW.  That's crazy.

But, the ultimate questions is, for how large of a tip would you do it?  I think I would lick mustard for $250.  I'm cheap.  haha.

For 250$ ?

no way man, I think I would rather go broke then fulfilling this weirdos fantasy of me, mustard, and america.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

*is literally rolling on the floor laughing*

*calls up his friend*

Ness: Hey [Sally], will you come over and put mustard on my flag?

Sally: Is that a new sexual innuendo?

Ness: No, I literally have a flag that I want you to put mustard on...and then I want you to lick it off.

Sally: Uh...

Ness: Hey, don't judge. There are 70 year-old men who enjoy this stuff.

Sally: This is why I banned you from using the internet at my apartment.

and then later today a tiny spanish man followed me around the city in his car making some very lovely sexual gestures to me for about 15 minutes. I caledl the police on his sick a$$.

ohhh .....man, what a day.hahahahaha

Revolting.

but. I mean....MUSTARD!>??!?!@? WHY MUSTARD

Original Post by schnooder:

but. I mean....MUSTARD!>??!?!@? WHY MUSTARD

 hmm...mustard always did strike me as an 'old man' type of condiment...

wow. this guy is horny &weiiird....

Original Post by schnooder:

but. I mean....MUSTARD!>??!?!@? WHY MUSTARD

I agree.  Flags taste much better with ketchup.

he must have a mustard fetish, he always smells like grey poupon

Original Post by schnooder:

but. I mean....MUSTARD!>??!?!@? WHY MUSTARD

 Its a fetish! Doesn't have to make sense. lol

You know what? I think you should take him up on his offer.  This sounds like one of those things you will look back on sixty years from now and regret not doing. You're young and young people are expected, no obligated, to do crazy things. Besides, it's better to get it all out now than to become the old person asking young women who deliver his medicine to lick his flags.

Original Post by lippygal:

Original Post by schnooder:

but. I mean....MUSTARD!>??!?!@? WHY MUSTARD

Its a fetish! Doesn't have to make sense. lol

I know it doesn't have to make sense thats why its so weird.

He could have asked you to lick something worse off his flag (I mean, he seems to love those flags...)

Original Post by schnooder:

but. I mean....MUSTARD!>??!?!@? WHY MUSTARD

cause ketchup would dye the white stripes then it would red, redish pink and blue. yellow on red you cant see. Always decline this offer unless you bring your own mustard, he might have spiked it with something. better yet tell your boss you want a tazer, that'll rid of the freaks