Double challenge - Dating while on a diet AND on a budget?

As I (gingerly) lower myself into the shark-infested waters of the 20s and up dating pool, I find myself at a bit of a loss of ideas for first dates.

In college, there was no dating to be seen. The most you would ever get would be meeting up at the dining hall, or maybe a free movie screening on campus. However, having outgrown and graduated from that, I'm moving into the perilous world of being young, single, and kind of bored.

There are tons of great restaurants in my town, but on a grad student budget those things add up quickly. Plus, I find it awkward to get to know somebody around mouthfuls of pizza. Additionally, dates like meeting at Starbucks or an ice cream shop can quickly undermine all the hard work you've put in for that day.

So what's a girl to do? As much as I love hiking, I would rather not spend my first date sweaty, sunburned, and squinting. Walking around is nice in the summer, but there's only so much of that you can do.

How can I break the dinner/ice cream mentality?

I don't really see anything wrong with going for a hike on a first date. Then again I am weird.

Anyway you can always suggest the restaurant, and isn't it usually a guy who picks up the tab? Then again if they are also a graduate student, like me, then they are also broke. lol. Which brings me back to my first point.

UD

How about find low-cost or free music concerts in your area? Those can be great places to get to know someone, and they are usually in pretty/romantic areas like parks. Plus, since there is a performance, you'll have something to talk about!

Or else, something low-cost but fun and memorable. How do you feel about bowling? It can actually be a great first or second date! 

Street fairs? Farmer's markets? Are there any free museums in your area? The possibilities are endless, just get creative!

Welcome to the wonderful world of awkward conversations and strange people with even stranger quirks!  (You do get some fantastic stories though!)

Over the past year, I definitely had my fair share of first dates.  I've actually found coffee shops to be the perfect low-pressure spot. They're:

casual - no heels and comfy clothes (yay!)

relaxed - weird date = out fast, awesome date = 4 hours at the same table without feeling guilty for taking up a waiter's table

and

cheap- no one feels bad if they end up not interested

The key to not blowing your day is all in the choices.  What are you ordering?  I usually get either a black coffee or herbal tea, sometimes a small non-fat latte if I'm feeling crazy and could use the calcium.  None of these will counteract your hard work...as long as you can get over paying $2 for a drink that would cost you $0.10 at home

What about museums? Waterfronts/piers? Local festivals/fairs? There are lots of interesting things to do in most areas that are cheap if not free.

I'm in the same boat. In fact I find myself so disinterested in standard date activities and so terrified of eating in front of strangers (or worried about blowing my diet), that I turn down pretty much everyone who asks me out.

That's not so bad because my cats are better company than 99.999999999% of the people I've met anyway. But it still kind of blows.

Awesome first dates that I actually enjoyed:

- Going to the library to learn stuff together (nerdy, I know, but I love that sort of thing).

- Exploring the coves of my favorite beach at 2am (haunting, creepy, and beautiful, especially when the algae is phosphorescent and makes the shore glow)

- Arcade (very casual, fairly cheap, and you can distract yourself with games if the conversation lulls, or flirt by taunting him)

- Museums (student discounts, a variety of exibits to choose from)

- Dog park or dog beach (assuming you both have dogs)

- Forgetting my diet and going to a fancy restaurant (The trick is letting him pay, hahaha)

movies in the park (if they have that in your area)

open mic nights at local coffee shops (they have a pretty groovy one on wednesday nights near me)

a movie theater in general to see a move (although that can cost you upwards of $10 these days ..unless there's a discount theater near you that offers older movies or something..?)

i think there are lots of things you two could do. and i agree with UD as well - hiking doesn't sound so bad. i'm in FL, so the moutainous terrain is limited, to say the least lol .. but if i had some pretty hiking trails at my disposal i would totally take advantage of that.

Original Post by yummy_kitty:

I'm in the same boat. In fact I find myself so disinterested in standard date activities and so terrified of eating in front of strangers (or worried about blowing my diet), that I turn down pretty much everyone who asks me out.

me toooo!! lol - cheers to the awkward folk out there! :D

Picnic - show off your culinery skills with something healthy and yummy. Head to the park. Swing on the swings and lounge on a big blanket.

Drinking Tour - depending on the size of your city you can get neato local tours of brewerys or winerys that will only include a sampler of the product for a very reasonable price.

I agree with the coffee shop being a good first date. Just order herbal tea instead of syrup creamy things. And you don't need food there.

THE ZOO! This is my favourite. I guess it depends again on your locatinos - some cities have cheezy small petting zoos with free admission. The animals can give you something to talk about if the conversation lulls. Its a good walk but with a purpose. If the city is larger I guess the admission will be more - but most places you can get discounts for students.  (also look for aquariums!)

Get interested in a local band or cover band and invite your date to the local gigs. Free admission is not going to be unusual!

Local festivals and events should be found on city websites or flyers.

Museums, art galleries, historical society open houses, parades, sporting events, local theatre productions.... keep your eyes and ears open!

Original Post by yummy_kitty:

I'm in the same boat. In fact I find myself so disinterested in standard date activities and so terrified of eating in front of strangers (or worried about blowing my diet), that I turn down pretty much everyone who asks me out.

That's not so bad because my cats are better company than 99.999999999% of the people I've met anyway. But it still kind of blows.

 

Awesome first dates that I actually enjoyed:

- Going to the library to learn stuff together (nerdy, I know, but I love that sort of thing).

- Exploring the coves of my favorite beach at 2am (haunting, creepy, and beautiful, especially when the algae is phosphorescent and makes the shore glow)

- Arcade (very casual, fairly cheap, and you can distract yourself with games if the conversation lulls, or flirt by taunting him)

- Museums (student discounts, a variety of exibits to choose from)

- Dog park or dog beach (assuming you both have dogs)

- Forgetting my diet and going to a fancy restaurant (The trick is letting him pay, hahaha)

Sorry that quote is so long I don't know how to take specific parts.  But I agree with that first paragraphe.  I also find men don't know how to be gentlemen anymore and are either very rude or self absorbed.  I know how to pick em'! ;)  I don't even feel the desire to put forth effort into dating anymore, getting ready, trying to look my best, and the possibility of blowing my diet and hard workouts for someone not even worth it.  My last date pretty much turned me off dating forever..he walked in front of me the whole time, talked endlessly about himself and when he asked me a question didn't even listen.  Half the time his response to me talking was 'huh?' 'what did you say?'..and then proceed to talk about him gaining weight and his new car.  He didn't compliment me once even though I took hours getting ready and had the nerve to say 'out of shape I see' when I couldn't keep up to him in my heels.  I had blisters from that date from hell for weeks after as a reminder.

I think the best first dates are the ones when you hang out in a group.  Some of his friends, some of your friends..so you can both be yourself.  Maybe meet up with a few others to play pool, hang out at the beach...even just hanging out at a little pub or bar is nice.  I always get diet coke .. since I don't drink alcohol.  You could go for a picnic..or just pick something you like and drag him along.  Especially when his reply to 'what would you like to do?' is 'duuuh I don't know, whatever you want to do'. 

Do whatever you like to do on a first date...even if it includes hiking.  That way, if the other person enjoys it too you won't be able to help but find someone who shares your interests!

Off topic gotta say im lovin the crab tat...(being from MD)

but back on the subject, my experiance has been that personalized free/cheap things are the best way to get to know an individual.

Watching a movie at home, going for a walk, free concerts/events offered(google your town/state + free stuff to do or cheap dates) or brunch instead of dinner or drinks

Hope this helps and good luck!