Doubtful (and scared) about gaining weight-how much is enough..?

Before I start asking questions, I knew it would be important to fill you in:  I'm 18 years old, about 5'5", and currently weigh about 110 lbs., putting my BMI at about 18.3.  I haven't had a menstrual cycle since August 2007.  I gained up to about 120 lbs. so I would have permission to participate in my final high school X-C running season this year, but still did not get a period, and ended up losing about 10 lbs. through the season.  

So right now, my doctor recommends that I gain weight to at least 115, but I'm so afraid of doing it the wrong way.   I know its only 5 lbs., but I really want it mostly to be of muscle even though I know that I need to increase my body fat % to get my hormones functioning properly.  I try to deny it so much, but I really do feel afraid of allowing myself to eat more than I do.  I'm frustrated that this is still so hard for me...

Anyway, I'm just wondering if any of you have ANY kind of advice for me.  I mostly lift weights and do resistance work along with trying to stay busy on my feet these days, but I'm not sure how many calories I should consume to gain weight, or what the best foods are for gaining muscle (I'd like to take it slowly; to gain about 1 lb. a week).

   Thanks for reading!  

The best advice that I can give you is that it's most likely "all in your head". This is actually a good thing because it means you have control over how you see your body. You are making choices ,conscious or not, that lead you to believe that you would somehow look bad or be less healthy if you were to gain weight. These thoughts are wrong and irrational. You are underweight, and you are suffering from amenorrhea. These are not characteristics of someone in peak health. The best thing you can do for your health is to gain weight. You should probably shoot for a BMI of about 20, (19 at the absolute lowest). I would recommend 20, just to give yourself a buffer against any illness that results in unexpected weight loss. A BMI of 20, for you, is equal to 120 lbs.

If you are struggling with the psychological aspect of gaining weight, then you may benefit from therapy. But ultimately, it's up to you and what you choose to believe. Therapist or not, you're the one who has to change. You have the power to make the conscious decision to stop thinking the way you do. You are choosing to believe that being underweight is appropriate for you, and you can make the choice to stop.

Wow, girl, do I ever know how you feel!  It's so hard and scary to take that first step of gaining weight.  But you know how I did it?  You just have to plunge in.  Take that first step—you just have to do it!  There's no other way to conquer the monster named ED than to launch an attack against him.

To gain about one pound a week, you should eat 500 calories over your burn.  If you were totally sedentary, the minimum for teenage girls to gain weight is 2500 calories.  If you are more active than that, however, you'll need to factor in your exercise and eat what that burns as well.  Don't be startled about the number—be it 3k, 4k, or 5k—everyone's different and gains weight at different rates.

I'm sure others here will have excellent advice for you as well, and good for you for deciding to do what your body needs for health and life!

Hey!

I am 5’5 and weigh 110 - 113 when I get to 110 I crack down and make sure I eat over my usual calories

Eventually I’d like to reach 114 lbs

If it makes you feel any better, I did not LOOK ANY BIGGER a couple of lbs heavier!

I do body pump and Pilate’s which help tone my muscles, and if you do resistance work too, then 10 lbs will NOT make you LOOK bigger - only YOU will notice!

Even though I still have a little way to go, I STILL noticed that I felt better about myself at 113 lbs then I did at 110 lbs even though I LOOKED the same!

If you do cross country then you must be prepared to COMPENSATE with your calories. If you are NOT prepared to compensate with calories, then DO NOT run.

Before I counted calories I ran and did aerobics several times a week but I did not compensate for it with calories and I lost weight too so be careful!

Thanks for all the advice.  Even though I've heard a lot of it before, it helps a lot to hear it from someone else----ESPECIALLY someone who is speaking from experience.  Unfortunately, I weighed myself again this morning and I'm down to 106 lbs. now.  I know I need to get a better handle on this, but I guess I've just been pretty stressed out...I hate to say it, and I'm not sure why I'm choosing to, but I have to admit that I allowed myself to lose weight (even though I said I wouldn't) this X-C season because then I figured I wouldn't have to feel bad about eating extra during the holidays when eveyone else is gaining weight anyway.  That way, if I were to allow myself to have a dessert of somekind I could feel secure knowing in the back of mind that if I gain weight off of it, its "acceptable."  I suppose I'm just curious if anyone else has done this. 

It's frustrating and tough still, but I know that the more I fight against ED the easier it will become to let it go and eventually move on.  Thanks again for all your replies----I'm going to go get some more food and go to bed. 

Part of recovery is to learn how to eat NORMALLY in social and special occasions - losing weight so you do not have to care if you gain weight is not a normal thing that you want to get in to the habit of.

Feeling the need to lose weight and compensate for extra calories you plan to enjoy is NOT fighting against your ED - please, try to CHALENGE your ED by literally telling it to **** off , because you are smart enough to use common sense to eat what you want without going crazy; you CAN enjoy a normal piece f cake on Christmas or thanks giving without having to over think it, and eat less to compensate or exercise more.

People who are LOSING weight may need to burn off a piece of cake, but that is right for THEIR goals. YOUR goals are to GAIN weight, so you can learn to enjoy foods you love like cake or ice cream in moderation without having to worry about it, ONE piece of cake can NOT make a person gain any weight, you need 3500 EXTRA calories over time to gain only 1 lbs

You need to have an extra 500 calories for a WEEK, or 250 extra for TWO weeks JUST to gain 1 lbs!

For 250 extra calories is about 2 pieces of toast with honey or avocado or etc, and 500 is a huge bowel of oatmeal with nuts, dried fruit, etc…. you could even eat a piece of cake EVERY day if you like

Embrace the holidays, it is not healthy to binge on cake or treat foods but it would be great if you learnt to enjoy these things in moderation WITHOUT having to skip a meal to compensate; people maintaining or GAINING do NOT have to compensate for every piece of cake they have!

These days I've been measuring very little, I no longer write down everything that I eat,  I make a very rough estimate of what my calorie consumption is, and at night, after having my regular meals, I basically just eat calorically dense foods (peanut butter, almonds, raisins, cereals, 4% cottage cheese, etc) until my stomach hurts.  I'm guessing that I'm getting in at least 3000 a day.  I know that I may actually have to eat more because I like to excercise (running is my favorite sport, but while I'm gaining weight I thought I'd do more resistance work to regain some of the muscles I seem to have lost), but I think I'll be able to deal with that.

My main focus and reason for weight gain is to regain my menstrual cycle, so I'm just curious if any of you know, through research or expericene, whether or not it is possible to regain your menstrual cycle while excercising. Thanks for reading!