Down in the dumps...

I am extremely unhappy with my life right now.  I graduated from college in May with a Bachelor's Degree in Business Administration, and I thought that would make me happy, but instead it made me even more miserable.  I am so confused as to what I should do for the rest of my life. 

I can't seem to land a job that I feel is good enough.  I am a server at the same restaurant I have worked at throughout college and I have recently been offered a job as a bank teller at HSBC.  But I don't want this!  My parents say I need to start somewhere, but I feel like I have wasted all of my hard work at college (I graduated with a 3.9 GPA).  You only need a high school diploma to be a bank teller!  Not to mention it doesn't pay crap.  I'm not even sure if I want to start a career in the banking industry. 

I guess I'm just looking for some advice/reassurance.  What did you do after you graduated from college?  How did you decide what to do for the rest of your life?  It's tough :-(

So what you're saying is... you're at a certain age and you don't know what you want to do.

Well, in that case.. why don't you figure that out? Take whatever time you need and figure out what you want to do and then try to make that work.

Until then, however, until you know what you want and how to get into it, I suggest you take the steady job. It's good experience and will teach you things you'll never learn in college and, hey, money is money. Especially in this economy, I'd take the job and then, with money coming in, start exploring your options.

Hi Cole,

I agree with hkellick. Getting your foot in the door of a more business-like job will get you one step closer and get you more experience. This job doesn't have to define your career.

There are a lot of people who would kill for a stable job right now, even if you only need a high school diploma for it. Not everyone has the luxury of wondering what they want to do with their lives. Try to keep your situation in perspective.

I understand your dilemma.  I graduated from college in May of 2008 and then moved to Italy (my then fiance is Italian).  I lived for a year just doing under the table work, and now that I am finally legal, I am looking for a real job.  I would kill to have any stable job, even if it isn't exactly what I want to do.  Very few people graduate and find their dream job right away.  Patience is necessary.  Take the bank teller job and have something to put on your resume for the next jobs you apply for. 

While you are bringing some money in with the banking job, reflect on what it is you really want to do.  Explore your options.  Also, you should feel fortunate that you even have the luxury to do so...many people don't.

go walkabout.

go get a random job on a fishing boat - something that is a total 180 from business - for a year or however long it takes to find your clarity and your path.

come back and either get on your path or alternately go get your MBA.

the hardest part of life is deciding what you want to do with it. its okay. it will come to you.

good luck!

Cole,

I am right there with you and I am 51 years old. Here's how I am handling the question of what I want to do with the rest of my life.

First, I am in a job that I don't particularly care for. However, it pays the bills and allows me the resources to return to school for further education in an area that I am interested in.

Second, work gives us purpose--we might as well have benefits, too.

Third, time is on your side. You are young. You have many years to branch out in other areas and try other things.

Take the steady job and give yourself a year to "find yourself". No one comes out of college squared away. My youngest daughter graduated in May with a BA in business, too. She works retail and loves the job, the people, but doesn't get paid squat. However, her time there is giving her the experience and contacts to do what she wants to do in the future. Also, she is proving herself to be a great manager and leader of people. Her boss's boss is watching her for future promotions. She may never end up in her "dream job", but her future looks bright with lots of potential.

I hope the same for you. You must make up your mind to change the attitude and accept the challenge. Go and be the best teller you can be. Shine in your job and someone will notice. The choice is yours.

Good luck,

J-mom

What J-mom said above take the job for experience! It won't close you off to opportunities. Keeping an open mindset is key while working there for experience/money. You simply need to keep a look out for more opportunities. This can be seen as a transitional job. Sometime we have to climb a wall of undesirable jobs. It can be easier to land another/better job if you already have one. Use this to build on your resume instead of bumming out.

 Best of Luck. ;)

I graduated in May with a 3.9 GPA as well, and am also working a crappy job completely unrelated to my field (and living with my parents to boot, because I can't afford my own place yet). It sucks, and I feel your pain. I have no words of comfort for you other than you're not alone.

I would discourage anyone from working in the banking industry unless you are an accountant or lawyer and plan on climbing high up the chain. The banking industry does not pay its lower level employees very well. I found that health and dental insurance in the banking industry cost more than the average. You'll never get a 4 day weekend as a holiday, meaning you'll have to wait a long time to get to take Thanksgiving, the friday, saturday and sunday off together.

There's plenty you can do. Travel. Get some life experience. Get your Master's. Take the bank job to get experience. 

Also, a 3.9 doesn't mean jack. Life experience does. I graduated with a 2.7 GPA (due to working 60+ hours a week while carrying a 22 credit hour course load and being in the uni honors program) and haven't had a problem getting a job or getting accepted to a Master's program WITH a scholarship. Remember, people want more than just high grades-- they want well-rounded people. 

I remember those days all too well!

What I did was picked out the company that I wanted to work for, made an initial contact, then volunteered for six months (which was when I anticipated an opening would occur).  I supported myself through evening work.  After 6 months, I advised them that I was taking a 3-week unannounced vacation during an inconvenient time (what could they do - fire me??).  They hired me permanently the next day on the condition that I cancel my vacation.  The 'vacation' was just a part of the plan since I didn't have enough money to go anywhere!  It is an extremely high profile company.  I stayed 8 years and it launched my career so that I could achieve anything I wanted to professionally.  The first six months were extremely challenging, but I have no regrets.

Hate to say it, but college grads are a dime a dozen.  Especially the ones who think they're entitled to the perfect job on graduation.  Now is when you start paying your dues.  Take a lower level job, work your ass off, be more than reliable and give your all to be better at your job than anybody else.  If you do this, in a few years you might find yourself on a great career path.

Or you can whine about not having the job you deserve and that's where you'll stay for a very long time.

Edit:  The last sentence came out harsher than I meant it to, but it's still true.

Quarter life crisis.

You feel like you grew up way too fast and now you don't know what to do.

It'll pass, it's just anxiety due to a large transition.

If you're okay on money, meaning little debt, and you crash at your parents place then you can try just about anything.

If you're even remotely gregarious (translatation: not completely socially inept) look for a sales job. It's long hours, usually with type-a people, and the pay is usually really good for the amount of experience you have (ie. none) if you don't consider the hours you're putting in.

The reason however I say sales is because you're young so you can live through the really lean times, it gives you portable skills to ANY business, it's a profession that is older than prostitution and more valued, it usually involves travel and dining out (fun things at any age) and if you're good at it, eventually you'll turn it into a lot of money.

cole37-

This is just a suggestion. I have been a real estate/litigation paralegal for over 20 years and I've never tired of it! I love to write. With the paralegal career, your mind is constantly expanding and you learn SO much just by working in a law firm in general. At one point I worked a year at a prestigious law firm in Boston. I've always loved having a challenging career.

What I currently do is contract for a law firm. I work on personal injury files and files which are in litigation. I also prepare settlement statements and paperwork for closings. But I do all of my legal research and writing at home. For instance, the attorney might want me to prepare interrogatories or requests for production of documents (part of the discovery process) and I will go ahead and prepare them in draft for the files. I take a stack of files out of the office and work on them for the week at home.

Maybe you could enroll in a two year paralegal program to earn your certificate. (I know you just graduated!) I got mine in 1987. You'd take all of the rudimentary courses and introduction in the first year. That will be your basic introduction to the legal field in general. Most law offices require a paralegal certificate, although the ones looking for legal secretaries do not. But it's still a foot in the door.

Even if you do not want the certificate or don't have the time or money to get the certificate, then you can again, get your foot in the door at any law firm. You're intelligent; you'll pick up a LOT real fast! Then you can work your way up from there. Do you enjoy writing? Then you'll fit right in!

I know the feeling of working and not being happy with what you do. Like your Mom and a previous poster said, you have to start somewhere. But, like you, I wanted to work at a career oriented job right out of college. Think about what you want to do, and get your professional resume in order.

I wish you the best....

buy a one way ticket anywhere (outside the continent) and just travel. Spend a year traveling and look for work outside to finance your daily needs. Anything from something which requires your skills, to simply washing dishes. The point here it to travel, learn, obtain life experiences, and enjoy yourself. You have the rest of your life to work, use whats left of your youth to live.

Go for your graduate degree.

Start your own business (any type).

Get a real estate license

Become a stock broker

Go to law school

In the meantime, having a job - any job - will help pay the bills.

V.

I'm in a similar situation. I worked a part-time job all through college and planned on transferring to a different branch after graduation this past May. Unfortunately, my family needed me back in our hometown, so I went out and found a job here instead. Let me start by saying that I am totally blessed to have found a job to begin with, much less within my major - English majors usually can't stop with just a BA. So I moved back, got my own place (couldn't live at home), and started the job almost immediately after graduation. And here I am, 4 months later, absolutely hating it.

It is not a challenge to me. I am so bored all the time. And broke. It pays very little. I feel like I have helped my family as much as I can (personal matters), and now I want out. I have contacted my boss at my former job to see if they can re-hire me once my lease runs out in a couple of months. The difference here is that I loved my job there and was on track to become a manager, whereas you don't seem happy with your restaurant job. I am going to have to find another part-time job to make enough money to support myself, but I don't care. I picked English as my major because I'm good at it, not because I want to be a writer or a teacher or whatever.

You only live once. Do what makes you happy. I am fortunate enough to have family that supports this philosophy and is willing to help me transition back to my old job, if the boss can find the hours to put me back on payroll. 

If you can't find anything else, at least give the bank job a chance if you're going to be making more money there than at your restaurant job. Stick it out for a few months. I've heard that it's always easier to find a job when you already have one (I don't really know where I heard that though). I know what job makes me happy and I know what I want to do. Since you don't, you have to try everything until you figure it out.

My daughter graduated with a degree in Finance 6 years ago.  She spent 6 months looking for a nice Finance job and finally took a low paying accounts payable clerk job with a small company.  That job didn't require a degree either.  She is now the company comptroller and makes 4 times what she started as.  A degree just gets you in the door onto the lowest rung on the ladder.  You have to show your employer that you are good enough to go up form there.  Start as a teller and be the best teller there and try to climb up the ladder.  If, after going up a few rungs, you find that banking isn't your thing, you can go to other companies with solid work experience under your belt and proof that you have what it takes to move ahead.  That is how the real world works.

Original Post by polythelenepam:

I graduated in May with a 3.9 GPA as well, and am also working a crappy job completely unrelated to my field (and living with my parents to boot, because I can't afford my own place yet). It sucks, and I feel your pain. I have no words of comfort for you other than you're not alone.

Same.  The economy doesn't help. Be thankful you HAVE a job.  A lot of my fellow graduates, some much more distinguished than I am, couldn't even get summer jobs at the mall. 

Take your time.  We're young.  And we're going to work forever at the rate things are going.  :)

After I graduated with a degree in philosophy, I moved to Lake Tahoe and took whatever job I could find (administrative for a while, then part-time soap entrepreneur, then construction labor).  It was a great chance to do some self-exploration and figure out what I wanted out of life.  So, my advice is take a couple of years, go somewhere that's exciting or exotic to you, struggle, make a living, find yourself, and enjoy the process of figuring out the next step. 

Lot of people don't know what to do about their life after graduation. My friend is still confused about it even after her MBA + 1.5 years of experience in different jobs. Even after you decide on what you want to do, you may not like the job once you actually work there.

I wanted to be a HR person, but once i landed in a HR job i didn't like it. I switched over to two different roles and landed up in something I really love. It takes time. Be Patient. Until you decide take whatever opportunities come to you and give it a try. Not only it helps you paying the bills but you may end up liking the job.