Drama - right here! - warning - very long

Siblings!  Do we need to make nice or is there a point you just say - you are too toxic to handle!  Out of 5 girls:

Sister in question:

Pretty good shape for age, +40, but probably a little too thin  in upper body.  Kinda mushy upper thighs, abs and behind.

• does anything for attention - including wearing big straw hats, wearing her obviously fake, huge tatas almost completely out, including in the front pew of the catholic church.  Wears short/shorts, crop tops, low riders.
• Stares everyone up and down and then proceeds to tell others how so-and-so has fat rolls or has gotten fat or shouldn't wear that with that shape, etc, etc. 
• had a goal to marry someone rich, even if he were really old - (married someone not rich instead)
• hasn't worked in years even though no children, but still spends like a maniac, even though her hubby makes a decent living, but not alot.... but stays home cleans and cooks like in the good old days.
• does not know how to use a computer
• won't ride a bike because claims that gyno told her the bumps were bad for women to be "open" while hitting the bumps.

Me:

Pretty good shape for 40+ and at lower end of BMI, but carrying most fat in upper body (arms, underarms).  Pretty lean hips, abs and legs.

• career minded
• wants to be an "equal" with men
• very independent
• worked all my life until got laid off
• dresses up to date, but with respect for self

She does the barbie bells with high reps and low weight.  I do NROL - heavy weight low reps.  I hate the workout videos personally!

She has in the past:

• Told my first husband (while I wasn't home) that it was soooo hot she didn't wear panties that day and proceeded to bend over to play with kids.  Hubby would've never done anything, he was scared of her!
• While I was divorced I had a friend at new year party and she proceeded to sit on his lap - I wasn't dating him, but really!
• Constantly acts like everyone wants to be like her - that she is "better" than anyone else, especially with her body.
• Chose one of my best friends that I knew since 2nd grade to be her maid of honor - even though she never hung out with her/us earlier.  She is 5 years older than us and was always at a different stage growing up.
• dominates conversations, comes real close waving her arms up so that you feel "crowded".

At a recent visit at her house she told me that I should not go to the trouble of doing what I have been doing because there is no change in me & that I should do her workout.  I explained, that yes, there were changes & that I had gotten some muscle.  She proceeded to make muscles and show me her arms and how she is so "cut" & has more muscle than me, blah, blah, blah. I would be better off doing her workout because - look at her!

I was very, very offended!   I said everyone is diff and that I carry more fat in my arms and that her arms are skinny, but that I do have more muscle, not to mention being 2" taller than her.  She must have like 8" biceps - I mean really skinny. 

Anyway - I said I had to leave rather than start a heated argument, yet again.  I told her this is why we can't get along.  She followed me to the door and pushed me in my back with both hands.  Like I am really gonna fight?  Really?  I stopped turned to look at her like she was nuts!  (I think she is!)  Anyway- I just said "really - you're gonna physically push me?" and then walked out.

I should have told her I can throw her and her 3 pound dumb bells across the room!

 Anyway - I am sick of this childish crap!!!!!  I am sick of feeling that she thinks I want to look like her and be like her!  I am really happy with my self and body & respect that she should do what she wants, but she is not respecting the other way.

SO - Give up on her?  Keep her and deal because it's family?  I already decided to give up because my life doesn't need the aggravation right now & if she were not family, she'd of been long gone already, but would like to hear opinions.

Any sibling stories you got?

there are toxic people and nourishing people

avoid the toxic

find the nourishers

this law is higher than family law imo

do what you gotta do for you

sister schmister

Consider for a moment whether or not you would put up with that behaviour from someone who wasn't your own blood.  There's a good chance you wouldn't.

There's nothing wrong with feeling an amount of loyalty and dedication to your family, but there are limits and the line should be drawn when they've started to make you feel like smoking them in the face.  Really, it's just not worth the grief.

Negative attention is better than no attention at all!!   It's kind of sad for her, honestly.  Sorry, but in my opionion, I wouldn't cut her out before you have a good talk with her, or before you recommend her to a therapist to fix her problems.

Original Post by watergirl:

sister schmister

 

 ^that

I agree whole-heartedly.

Original Post by igloogal:

Original Post by watergirl:

sister schmister

 ^that

I agree whole-heartedly.

 This seems to be most people's view!  I appreciate all the input.

echantingimage  - I think your answer would work if both parties were interested in fixing and if both parties could admit their mistakes... unfortunately, that is not the case.  I feel like I have had my fill and I no longer want to waste my energy.  As someone else said, all bets are off once she put her hands on me.

andi - yeah she needs therepy definitely, but my suggestion would really not make her see that.  I think she really needs to get to a point where she sees it and realizes it for herself.

nomnom - yeah - I would not have put up with it at all and we would have never been "friends" if we were not sisters.

So, are we sisters now?

Original Post by igloogal:

So, are we sisters now?

yeah!!!!   Wanna go swimming?

HA! I'm on my way to the beach tomorrow.

Lets go shopping for new swim suits first. I'm off at 4.

Original Post by igloogal:

HA! I'm on my way to the beach tomorrow.

Lets go shopping for new swim suits first. I'm off at 4.

 Yayyyy!  I love the beach!  See you at 4:05!

Er, hang on a sec. Don't you have poison ivy?

Is that stuff catchy?? If it is, just stay home. I'll have to catch up with you some other time sis! (But I'll miss you)

. . . Beach time here I come (without my infected sister)

Original Post by yogagirl6853:

solowit - yeah - that is what I thought about being over 40.  You wouldn't expect it from someone in that age group & the whole thing about how dare she put her hands on me!  The bike riding thing is because she said the bumps are not good and then when I said you get more bumps from riding in a car, she said that it is because on a bike you are "open".  lmao!  I ride my bike alot, btw - so just another slam to me.  Her doctor - supposedly - and I don't believe it - told her this is what causes bladders to drop in females.  I think she wants to put women back to the 1920s!

OMG that is so unreal, I come from the Netherlands and well, cycling and Netherlands are pretty much synonyms, I mean check this link, that is about the average sight you see at each and every train station in our country!
That would according to your sisters doctor mean that pretty much each and every female has dropped bladder there, well surprise surprise.....NOPE (well I guess that was not very surprising, hahahaaa) tsk, unreal!

I think you are about to make a very relieving decision and break with your sister, I tell you you will feel so much lighter (hey it might even show up on the scale!!)
I btw always have to laugh when people do that something schmomething-thing, watergirl, you made me laugh so hard, indeed, sister schmister!

krrpt08 - you are lucky too about your sisters.  I would LOVE for us to be that way too, but it is not gonna happen!  As for your boyfriends brother, he does need a backbone!  I am in IT too & got laid off in Feb and I can't even find jobs to apply for around here, so it may not be totally his fault that he is unemployed.  The market is really bad right now.  Hope that works out for him.

 I know he is trying... I guess what irritates me is he refuses to move back in with his parents even though there is NO WAY he can afford the house they are renting. I just think he is scared of his tiny, psycho girlfriend and won't. Plus, since he got laid off, he only calls people when he needs something. I think this all stems from his gf ruling his life. So irritating!

have you ever thought that see thinks the same way about you, that you do her?  now i apologize if you think i am coming across rude, but your whole thread was in a nutshell, she is dumb, a slut, annoying, and you are a better person than she is.....you said it yourself, everyone is different, when she rants ignore her...this just seems a little childish to me....sorry if you thought i was rude, that's just my opinion.

skillz -

#1 - she probably does think badly about me... however, that shouldn't matter since her values and my values do not obviously line up.  My question was in reagards to having to deal with it because she is family or not.  I wouldn't have a friend like her.  So - yes she can be different, but not be different and OFFENSIVE TO ME.

 #2 - Would you like your brother hitting on your wife?  Although some people would not care....  I do not think that would be appropriate & don't feel that is something I should have to deal with.  No where have I used the words dumb, slut, etc.  But if the shoe fits....  I merely described things she has done to make me not WANT to be near her.  And also, I would never be like that with HER husband.

#3 - respect needs to go both ways - not just one way.  I don't need to put up with disrespectful people. If you think that is childish - maybe you have not grown up yet.

So.... the question was not whether she or I is better.... it's whether or not to put up with crap for the sake of family.