Too much drama = stress = going off diet

First, I hopped on the scale this morning.  I was fully expecting at least a 2 pound weight gain because I have seriously been going off diet plans and not eating as healthy.  In fact, once this week I ate 4 oreo cookies and a glass of milk.  Then last night I went on a small eating binge.  I got on and I lost 2 pounds.  Yeah!

OMG I have been so stressed out these last two weeks.  It centers around family life.  It started with step kids and then ends with my own.  I spent a couple of days last week just crying my eyes out.  Too much! I have been retreating this weekend and staying in bed mainly because I am tired and there were a couple of nights where I wasn't even sleeping a bit.  I just feel drained and my brain no longer functions.  So, here I am trying to get things back in balance.  Then yesterday I get an email from my husband asking why we've drifted apart. 

Ummmm because I have been under STRESS... what planet did you just drop off of.  So I now feel irritated with it but I can't say much. I married this guy. He was just as clueless then.  Life happens around him while he makes his own plans.  But I do love him - bless his heart for trying.  I just think he forgot to factor in other things and has been wanting *AHEM*... to cuddle... and I haven't felt terribly cuddly but tired, stressed, and tired.

Today is DH's birthday.  I am not real sure what to do for him that way he doesn't think I "put up with him" - as he puts it.  My plans to do things for him have been interrupted.  I have been reatreating because I want to be alone to process all this stuff and it seems like he's just not really getting it and now I have to worry about hurting his feelings.  I have been taking the kids places to get them out of the house and burn some energy.  I sit alone and cheer them on and I have been staying up late at night because it just felt nice to do something without talking to someone or think of someone else for a friggin change.  I don't believe it's permanent.  I just believe I am tired and need a break for a little bit.  I don't know what to do. 

I feel for you - many women (and men too) fall into the habit of taking care of everyone else to the detriment of their own health and sanity.  When I finally broke down (and I'd had many breakdowns of tears, yelling, moodiness, ups/downs, etc.) I went to my doctor and her advice has gotten me through time and again.  You need to be selfish and take care of yourself or you can't take care of anyone else.  You need to have a heart to heart talk with your husband and say you need help, you can't do it all yourself.  Write down all the things you do and show him where he can help out.  Emphasize with him how his helping you will benefit him - you'll have more energy/desire for "cuddle time" and by being a team you will feel closer to him.

Then make time for you doing things that make you happy.  No excuses - take an hour (10, 15, 30 mins - whatever works) a day that is "me time" and let everyone (kids included) know that you are not to be disturbed.  If you need to get out of the house to get away from everyone even if its just to walk around the park or mall or go have a coffee with a friend.  Don't be a martyr - we all fall into that trap and it does us absolutely no good.  I started making Friday nights mine.  No cooking, cleaning, mom's taxi - I got to do whatever I wanted even if it was going to bed early and reading a book.

If you can afford it, talk to a counsellor.  I found one that was a specialist on relationships and also an eating disorder specialist and she made me see how the stress in my life was the major contributor to my weight issues.  I was depressed (and in my gut I knew it but saw that as a sign of weakness).  I'm an emotional eater and she taught me many ways of dealing with stress in more positive ways than eating.  I did go on anti-depression meds for awhile but eventually, with the counselling, I was able to come off them.  So when I fall off the wagon and start seeing bad patterns happening I now know what I need to do for me to be a good mom/boss/friend/partner.  Not always easy, definitely alot of work but so worth it to be in a good place mentally and emotionally.  There are so many good books out there that are full of good advice for women who do too much.

Good luck!

You said it yourself: take a little break. Even if it is only 10 minutes out of the day, you need time to put your emotions and feelings into perspective. Do not let your own worries prevent you from talking to your husband because you did not get married to handle things on your own. Let him be there for you. Talk to him, and try to explain the stress you are under. Try to find a solution that involves him helping you.

Remember: desserts is stressed spelled backwards.  :)

A little is good, a lot causes problems.

- Tricia

Sounds like you need a vacation!  Is there a grandma or aunt that can take the kids for a day or two?