Drama Updates: neutral comments on clothing and accessories

I hate it when people make comments on clothing that could be taken as bad or good.

I get these often...

"That's an interesting watch."

"What IS that??"  I respond, "it's a pin".  And they say, "Oh, that's unique."

which aren't really that bad.  I just wish if people liked it, they would just say that.  And if they don't like it, I wish they wouldn't say anything.

I just got, "Every time I walk by you are in black, you must have a closset full of black".  From this really annoying older man at work that is CONSTANTLY commenting on my clothing.  I wanted to say, "Do you expect me to change ever 5 minutes because you can't sit still and have to walk by my office constantly?"  Instead I said, "No, this is my only black top, I just really like this sweater".  I am always cold and only have 3 different sweaters...so I wear one each day.  I have other black tops, but I am spiteful, so now I refuse to wear any other black top the rest of the summer I am here, just to prove him wrong.

Similarly, I feel a little awkward when people point out obvious things about my appearance, also with no indication as to whether they find it good or bad.

Last week, a guy that works on my floor said, "Your hair is long."  Really?  I didn't know that.  Is that compliment?  What do you expect to hear in response to that?  In those situations, I usually just say "Yep" or something and continue on my way, but I always worry that I sound rude.  I don't care what that guy thinks about my hair... I just wish I were manners-savvy enough to know what would constitue an acceptable response to those statements.

Why do people say things like that?  "You parted your hair on the side."  Um, yeah? What are you trying to say??  Comments like that make me defensive.

Original Post by brtaylor:

Similarly, I feel a little awkward when people point out obvious things about my appearance, also with no indication as to whether they find it good or bad.

Last week, a guy that works on my floor said, "Your hair is long."  Really?  I didn't know that.  Is that compliment?  What do you expect to hear in response to that?  In those situations, I usually just say "Yep" or something and continue on my way, but I always worry that I sound rude.  I don't care what that guy thinks about my hair... I just wish I were manners-savvy enough to know what would constitue an acceptable response to those statements.

 Except for the last situation in my OP(which really annoyed me so I was snarky), I have decided to assume it's a compliment and say, "Thanks" and leave it at that.  If it wasn't a compliment, I doubt they will correct me ;)

I also have a friend that hasn't yet figured out that I do, in fact, look better with makeup on.  Every time she sees me without makeup she says something along the lines of, "wow, you look tired.  Did you sleep ok?"  And since she is a friend, I continue to tell her no, in fact, I simply don't have make up on, thanks for noticing:/  She STILL hasn't made the connection.

Original Post by huggitbear:

Why do people say things like that?  "You parted your hair on the side."  Um, yeah? What are you trying to say??  Comments like that make me defensive.

I think that is the perfect situation to use a simple thanks

"You parted your hair on the side"

"thanks"

hahahaha!!! makes no sense, which works perfectly since their comment really makes no sense.  I love it!

"that's an interesting watch"

---"so was the guy I stole it from"

---"so's your face"

"Oh, that's unique"

---- No, its a PIN. I just told you.

---- "so's your face"

"Your hair is long"

----It just looks that way cause I washed it

----well, it was an expensive wig

----so's your.. well you get it.

"you must have a closet full of black"

----yeah and my homeowner's association is really peeved about it.

----yeah even my pets are black

-----yeah, I even wish you were black

I don't understand why you get all worked up over it. Who cares? Brush it off.  Smile and say thank you even if it didn't exactly sound like a compliment. You will probably notice your mood improve if you do that.

I LOLed at CDC's comebacks especially the one wishing you were black! Hilarious.

Original Post by lippygal:

I don't understand why you get all worked up over it. Who cares? Brush it off.  Smile and say thank you even if it didn't exactly sound like a compliment. You will probably notice your mood improve if you do that.

 Well, like I just said, I normally do.  I just can't do that with the guy at work because if I do, he will think I appreciate the comments and will continue doing it :/

Original Post by hotfuss:

Original Post by lippygal:

I don't understand why you get all worked up over it. Who cares? Brush it off.  Smile and say thank you even if it didn't exactly sound like a compliment. You will probably notice your mood improve if you do that.

 Well, like I just said, I normally do.  I just can't do that with the guy at work because if I do, he will think I appreciate the comments and will continue doing it :/

He hasn't stopped yet.  Whatever your reaction has been to him, its not working. Again, try not to let these little things annoy you so much. You should be laughing about him inside your head instead of being all frustrated.

Original Post by lippygal:

Original Post by hotfuss:

Original Post by lippygal:

I don't understand why you get all worked up over it. Who cares? Brush it off.  Smile and say thank you even if it didn't exactly sound like a compliment. You will probably notice your mood improve if you do that.

 Well, like I just said, I normally do.  I just can't do that with the guy at work because if I do, he will think I appreciate the comments and will continue doing it :/

He hasn't stopped yet.  Whatever your reaction has been to him, its not working. Again, try not to let these little things annoy you so much. You should be laughing about him inside your head instead of being all frustrated.

 yeah, this is the first time I didn't just say thanks or nothing at all ;)

I am/was annoyed, but I am not frustrated.  That is what venting on CC is for!!

I have very long hair and I get that comment too.  When someone says "your hair is long", I just say "I know".  I mean really, what do you say?   Tell them something about themselves?  Maybe like "your shirt is blue" or "your eyes are green".  Thanks for telling me?  I don't know its crazy!

Original Post by huggitbear:

Why do people say things like that?  "You parted your hair on the side."  Um, yeah? What are you trying to say??  Comments like that make me defensive.

 Maybe they just want to acknowledge that they notice the little things you do on a daily basis?  Maybe they aren't rude, or trying to be, they just want you to know that they notice you.  It's much nicer to be noticed than to be completely ignored.

Original Post by hotfuss:

"That's an interesting watch."

Oh, and interesting is usually a good thing, as in "I'm interested in your watch", usually a positive.  I mean, are you interested in someones ugly sweater?

Original Post by hotfuss:

Original Post by lippygal:

I don't understand why you get all worked up over it. Who cares? Brush it off.  Smile and say thank you even if it didn't exactly sound like a compliment. You will probably notice your mood improve if you do that.

 Well, like I just said, I normally do.  I just can't do that with the guy at work because if I do, he will think I appreciate the comments and will continue doing it :/

 I love the one about wishing you were black...only I can't use it because I am black and I am not interested in starting the civil rights movement phase 5...

Original Post by oreo2424:

Original Post by hotfuss:

"That's an interesting watch."

Oh, and interesting is usually a good thing, as in "I'm interested in your watch", usually a positive.  I mean, are you interested in someones ugly sweater?

I am wiling to take statements like that as a compliment, but I don't think you are correct.  Saying something is interesting doesn't mean you are interested in it.  I know on the few occasions someone has asked me their opinion on something they are wearing, I have said "It's interesting" to avoid being rude and saying something like "It looks like a rainbow vomited all over you".

My favorite non compliment of all time:

"How do you like my casserole?"  "I was able to suppress the gag reflex."

Second:

"How do you like my new perfume?"  "You don't stink too bad for a fat chick."

One of my best freinds is 6' 1'' and and she gets comments ALL the time.  "Wow, youre tall...do you play basketball?".  If she only had a nickel for every time someone said this! haha.  Eventually she just started responding by asking "No. do you play miniature golf?" hahaha I love that.

Original Post by aimeelerue:

One of my best freinds is 6' 1'' and and she gets comments ALL the time.  "Wow, youre tall...do you play basketball?".  If she only had a nickel for every time someone said this! haha.  Eventually she just started responding by asking "No. do you play miniature golf?" hahaha I love that.

 

 Another good response is, "No, I am training to be a jockey"  <-not mine, stolen from some other thread on CC a while ago!

OMG!!!  Apparently I am not the only person that finds the offender in the last example in my OP to be annoying.

I guess at lunch he made some remark to a construction worker and got hot coffee thrown in his face as well as a solid punch to the nose.  They are going to court. 

Crazy.  Somehow I think the comment he made to the construction worker must have been a bit more severe than what he says to me!

Original Post by hotfuss:

OMG!!!  Apparently I am not the only person that finds the offender in the last example in my OP to be annoying.

I guess at lunch he made some remark to a construction worker and got hot coffee thrown in his face as well as a solid punch to the nose.  They are going to court. 

Crazy.  Somehow I think the comment he made to the construction worker must have been a bit more severe than what he says to me!

 LOL get busy researching.. we are going to need details!