Dreading Christmas because I have gained weight.

I have gained six pounds since I last saw my mother ( at total of 11 pounds since last Christmas.) I'm not exactly overweight -- 5'9" and 151 pounds. But my mother is extremely thin and loves to mock and make fun of fat people. She has critisized my sister to me behind her back when she gained a few pounds (she has never been truly overweight, either.)

I know my mother is a nasty person for having such a negative view of people over a size 6. And I know I'm not actually fat. But I FEEL fat, I feel like a failure and I feel like crying.

The worst part is that feeling like this makes me want to eat and eat. All I want is chocolates and eggnog and creamy foods. I want to hide under the covers with a toblerone bar.

I need some support. Thank you.

I am sorry that your mother is critical of your weight.  You are not overweight- what is most important is that you are healthy and happy. People indulge from time to time, that is okay. You have to focus on being happy with yourself first and foremost. Try as best as you can to brush off her negativity/insensivity and tell yourself you are beautiful!

I'm in the same position with my Dad.  I too gained 11 lbs. since last Christmas.  However, I was underweight last year.  My mom still thinks I need to eat more and heckles me about it, but I don't mind it because she's always trying to feed everyone. But my Dad, ugh, he's the worst.  We were eating food and I had taken a very small portion because I didn't know if I would like it.  I decided it was pretty good and went back for seconds, since I hadn't eaten much at all.  My Dad started making pig noises!  It was so upsetting I threw down my plate and left.

I too take comfort in food, but you and I both need to understand that it's OUR bodies.  All that matters is how we feel about ourselves, forget what everyone else thinks!

Thank you, Jenny. I'm trying to lose 11 pounds so I can be 140 again. It's just hard, and I have a bad habit of restricting too many calories during the week and then binging on the weekend. Total yo yo.

I actuallly gained 5 or 6 pounds in just two weeks, when I was on vacation last month. I feel so ashamed, and stupid for eating whatever I wanted and thinking I could get away with it.

And when I get in this "bad place" in my mind, I just want to throw in the towel.

Dattaplot, your Dad is mean! Pig noises? That's horrid. My mother is much more subtle but it's still pretty painful.

You made a god point: It's OUR bodies! I have to feel good about myself for myself. But at the moment I feel just dreadful.

Thank you so much for posting.

Sounds like you are the compassionate adult in your family.  I am sorry that your mother's attitude is a negative influence on your enjoying Christmas.  I hope things go better than you anticipate.   Your height and weight are pretty much in line.  If she says something to you just smile and recognize that she is the one with the problem.

I just wanted to say that I know how you feel.  My grandmother is the same way, she is a tiny lady, always has been.  My twin sister and I are adopted, and so we are nothing like my mother (5'9" 140 lbs) or my grandmother.  I am more like 5'6" 195 lbs.  It is really hard to go home for the holidays, because they look at your dinner plate and scrutinze everything you put in your mouth.  Just remember that how beautiful you are is not dictated by anyone else but you.  Don't let others tell you how to feel about you.  I know because I have let that happen my whole life, and now I care way too much what people think about how I look.  BTW-you sound like you are just right to me anyway! 

Just keep your chin up this holiday, and know there are others that know what you are going through! 

Thank you, everybody, for your replies. Each one really helps.

I also think my "feeling fat" actually means I'm feeling something else, like sad or lonely or depressed. Or just feeling really bad about myself through the eyes of my mother.

Can't wait for Xmas to be over!

This is all so sad!!  I know that my eating habits are based on my mother's attempts to control me when I was a kid. 

One thing we CAN do is try not to pass that on to our own kids.  My youngest son is just a little chubby, like I probably was.  I really, really try to say the things I NEED to say as the mom of an American kid exposed to so much bad food.   But sometimes I hear the things my mom would say in my head!  I don't say them.  I give him a big hug instead and tell him that he is awesome.  No lie!  That kid is awesome!  We'll see how his weight plays out, and I wonder if it will tell me how mine would have gone if I hadn't been stared at and given smaller portions than everyone else at the table at big family events.

Good luck and best wishes to all of you.