To eat or not to eat?

As I have gained, my stomach has taken the brunt of the weight, and in my mind, stomach=bigger=stomach=fed=dont need to eat. That make sense?

So although I KNOW I need to eat, and Im still eating. I dont feel like eating, Im tired of eating!I wish I was hungry sometimes and I wish my mind wasnt so occupied by food. I wish I was thinking about other things, like my friends and my hobbies, and doing other things eather than counting my calories. Can anyone who is closer to goal weight help on their experiences with this?

Yes, I will try to help you. My best advice after going through this exact same thing is... EAT. I'm so glad you say you are eating. It's the only way to get better.

There are three reasons why it seems like your stomach is bigger than the rest of you. (1) Part of it is in your mind, courtesy of ED. (2) It's natural to gain more weight around your stomach at first but it WILL redistribute. (3) Since there is food and organs in your stomach area it is closer to looking like it should, while the rest of your body is starved. So while it looks like your stomach is too big, actually the rest of you is too small.

Also just trust me, your doctors, basically anyone recovering/recovered from an ED that you need to eat even when you aren't hungry, and that the day will come when you will get hungry again without restricting. It took about four months before I was eating over 3000 calories a day, not over-exercising, and was able to feel hungry, and omg I was so happy. Now it happens all the time. Ex: this morning I ate breakfast (3 Boca burgers fried in 2 Tbsp. olive oil, 2 pieces of toast with 2 Tbsp. jelly, 2 eggs, and 1 cup of soymilk. That's over 1000 calories, 40g of fat, and 70g of protein.) around 7:00 which is earlier than usual, then was STARVING by 10:00, so I ate another ~700 calorie snack, had lunch at 12:00 (similar nutritional breakdown as breakfast) and I'm having another big snack now. I always seem to eat more when I wake up earlier, but I don't exercise. I used to exercise everyday and be really full only eating either 1 plain Boca burger or 1 cup of strawberries everyday. 

Also if you are a recovering anorexic things like oil, peanut butter, full-fat dairy products, etc. are probably really hard for you but if you give them a try they will make your life so much easier. It means less eating, more time to spend doing things other than eating and counting, and faster recovery. Plus they taste better, whatever ED might say. 

You will be able to enjoy your friends and hobbies eventually, too, I promise. Actually when you are starved your brain doesn't work right and so you can't help obsessing about food and not finding pleasure in what you used to enjoy. But if you really want to recover, you can do it. 

Message me anytime you need support/advice/encouragement! And keep faith, keep eating! 

Driven if you feeel to full then try having some foods that are high in calorie and won't get you full like nuts and butters.

Blueberry is one of the best at what she does. =]

Nice info blueberry . I awlays learn something useful from you.

Hehe, thanks, dekkos. You too. I learn so much from everyone here! Driven, keep us posted on how you're doing. <3

Hey guys, thanks so much for great advice

especially-"stomach is not bigger, rest of me is too small!"-thats puts it into perspective. I took photos of myself and I can see that I am DEIFINITELY not too big. Its the physical feeling of extra "flesh" that I am not used to.

Over the past 6 weeks Ive gained a much needed stone. So it hit me today. Im going to try my hardest to keep my mind and actions occupied in other areas, like socialising, writing, studying(euch!), relaxing, being with family etc.., becasue I know from experience that when Im doing those things, i dont think about food as much or worry about food or my weight. Its when Im alone and bored that ED starts to chat to me.

Im doing everything that is required to gain weight, eating a lot of hummus, avocadoes, cheese, buts, dried fruit etcc, all the high cal stuff, ensures, honey, even adding walnut oil to my cereal! but Im getting sick of it.Whenever I go to eat, all I think about is gaining weight,I want to be thinking -"ok lunchtime what do I want?" not "ok lunch time whats the higheat calorie thing i could have?"

I guess to sum up how I am feeling right now I would say

Im sick of trying to and thinking about, gaining weight. grrr!

Driven,

Congratulations on the stone! I'll bet you look fantastic compared to how you did before. Just think how much better you'll look and feel with even more progress! It's also really inspiring to hear you say what all you are doing to gain weight. That's amazing, and clearly shows that you are going to get better.  Obviously maintaining comes right after full weight restoration, so the sooner you're better the sooner you can have what you want to eat and not have to get what will make you gain weight. Keep this up and that day will be here before you know it!

Much love.