Eating disorder

I just signed up for this website in hopes to build a support group.  I would love to hear from anyone who is going through what I am going through or something similar. It would be nice to feel like I'm not alone.

I'm almost 100 lbs overweight and I'm only in my early twenties. Within the past 5 years my problem has spiraled more out of control. After moving out of my parents house and being in total control of the food I buy, I have undoubtedly developed an eating disorder. I binge eat like it's nobody's business. I've become so accustomed to having exactly what I want when I crave it, and I feel completely powerless to my intake of food. Even when I wake up in the morning and feel so positive that today I can do it - today I can survive breakfast through dinner without eating crap, only healthy things, I cannot. I crack at the first sight of a donut, or  cookie, or taco.. Anything really. If I'm in my car, I get the idea of taco bell, and I go back and forth in my head about whether or not to go, and then I just go and decide I'll start "tomorrow".

It's embarrassing to talk about, honestly. If anyone can share either some advice, or maybe a success story about overcoming an eating disorder, I would appreciate it. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

hello :) Everybody here is so helpful. 

Here is my advice to you: read Skinny Bitch by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin.  It promotes the vegan lifestyle.  I'm vegan, but I know it's hard just to dive right into it if you're used to eating meat and animal byproducts.  But you can just use some of their suggestions.  It may help.

Eat heathly.  Sure, you may not LOVE the food now, but it will grow on you, and soon your sugar cravings will disappear.

Last summer, I was a healthy-eating machine.  However, I feel off the wagon & gained a ton of weight back by eating junk.  This summer, I am starting to eat healthier again, AND I FEEL GREAT!  It's easy to fall off, but jump back on.  It will be hard at first.

i am confused, most binge eaters are normal or overweight.  but you are very thin...depending on height.  so is this a restricting binge thing,  or restrict everything so you can only eat junk.  looking to know more cause a lot of people will say you are binging because you are starving and your mind is trying to give you some food and making you eat.  and alot of people on this site will say eat it and gain some weight,  but we need to know more.  and toco bell is not toally the worse thing you can do for yourself.

Original Post by bobo1:

 but you are very thin...depending on height. 

 I think you misread this post!

Welcome I hope you find the support you need, I think you will  I wouldn't have suggested the skinny bitch book, although it could help. You can change your eating habits without going vegan. Good luck in getting a better relationship with food.

ya i did! sorry

K - so I TOTALLY know how you feel!  I've always been like that - a binge eater.  I know how hard it is to overcome. I did the optifast program a couple years ago, and it really worked well for me!!  I was 260, then I did the optifast program and got down to 175.  It was a hard program, but easy because I was totally committed because it was expensive.  And I had NO other choices - I never had the 'hmm - what will I eat for breakfast?'  It was always 'another shake'  which yes, it got boring, but it fulfilled my sweet tooth and I could have all the diet soda I wanted which also helped fill me.  But then I got pregnant and started binging again!  My baby is 9 months old and I am 210.  I'm on here trying to get back on the wagon.  I would love to be 150, but we shall see.  I can't do the optifast program again because it's too expensive and also I'm nursing right now.  But I am living proof it can be done - it's hard, but it can be done.  I battle those binge cravings EVERY DAY!  and I can't tell you how many 'first days' I've had too - but I'm on day 3 now, so hopefully I will make it this time!

Hi there. I don't know your real name, but I suggest changing your CC name from "chubsmcchubberson" to something else. You are not defined by your weight or you ED. You are YOU, not your ED or your weight.

I have been where you are. A part of me always will be. I have lost 85 lbs and still consider myself to be in recovery from my compulsive eating disorder.

I really get the whole "I'll start tomorrow" thing. That was my mantra for years. I totally went to McDonald's every chance I got, and hid chips and dip and God knows what else and ate myself to near death for years. I would literally hide food outside, in the car, or even in a garbage can so I could sneak off and eat when everyone was asleep. I would go to elaborate lengths to pull this off. The few times I was "caught" I felt as if I was going to die....literally panicing and hyperventalating. I later learned my ED was the result of an obsessive compulsive disorder. The same Obsesive Compulsive disorder that I have "trained" to help me lose weight instead of gain it. Neat trick, that. 

I don't think one can ever get over an eating disorder like ours. But I think we can live in recovery for the rest of our lives. The trick is to just get through the day. Just get through today and say "today I am going to eat only x number of calories". Tomorrow can worry about tomorrow.

That's what I have been doing for 5 months now. I still crave things like chips and dip...and I still eat them within my limits. Hell, sometimes I'll starve myself for a whole day just so I can binge. But I always count the calories.

You can do this. I can't believe I have come this far and lost 85 pounds. Seriously. It's like a dream. I never ever thought I could feel as good as I do. And look it, as well. You have the power to get what I've got. You really do. 

I don't quite feel in control, but I behave as if I am in control. That's what really matters in the end.

I would like you to visit my profile and browse through my journals. I think you'll see a progression there that I hope you can make you own. You are a wonderful creation worthy of health, happiness, and wholeness. The world is better off having you in it. You deserve to be happy, fit, and those who love you deserve it to. If you don't agree with me, that's OK. Recovery is about claiming the happiness we all deserve.

Good luck. You can enjoy the journey. You don't have to feel alone. So many of us have walked the path you are on.

Cheers,

Mike

Mike- wow, you look great! Thanks for the advice.  I will take ONE DAY at a time for sure. 

Hey there. I know how you feel. I'm in recovery from a binge-eating disorder.

As Mike said, you never get over an ED. You will always be in recovery. Above all, you must make a committment to yourself. Promise your friends or family or significant other all day long, but it's YOU who has to do it. They think it's easy-it's not. I've been in recovery for 5 years and I still must overcome urges to binge. Then when I do I have to overcome the urge to purge. But I have NOT in a long time. It's ming over matter completely, and it is hard. You will not develop a healthy mindset until you conquer the root to your disorder. You won't lose weight healthily either.

I suggest seeing a doctor. A nutritionist, if nothing else. They have great ideas about things to eat you'd never even think of. And some are so satisfying to a sweet tooth! After you get some input and make your commitment, then you can begin to change-for the better!