Eating out help/restaurant doom?

While I am working at improving my diet in many areas, one area I often struggle with is restaurants as well as office food, so if I am in a setting where appetizing food is in front of me, I struggle.  If I am on my own, I am more self controlled.  In restaurants, it often feels like a treat or special outing, so it's like I want to order something "special" for the special occasion.  I don't go out to eat, but when I do, I tend to want to splurge.  Unfortunately in America, since they serve large portions, I will overeat, since I don't want to "waste" the food.  What works for you when going to restaurants?  What kind of things do you tell yourself to exercise self-control in a restaurant?  What kind of things do you tell yourself to exercise self-control in an office setting with lots of snacks around?

A good start can be to get hold of the restaurant menu in advance.  When you're sat at the special occasions, chatting, sipping wine etc., it's easy to get carried away and order lavishly.  In the cold light of day at home you can make a more rational choice.

Second is to revise 'special' and 'splurge'.... Special can be light, healthy foods such as asparagus spears.  A 'splurge' can be some expensive delicacy like lobster.  It doesn't have to be heavy, greasy things swimming in cream or wrapped in pastry.  For the portions..... Ask for starter-size portions, perhaps.  Or share a dish with a friend. 

The way I look at it is to 'think Diva'...  They're always at parties and events but I don't suppose they trough into food like a starving bricklayer.... You can't imagine Nicole Kidman piling her plate up second time around at the all-you-can-eat buffet or Zeta-Jones slyly undoing a trouser button so she can gobble another slice of pizza!  I expect they eat in a dainty, lady-like fashion and demand food prepared 'just so' rather than accepting it as it comes. 

I know what you mean about restaurants. I try to get a hold of the menu ahead of time--but if it's a local restaurant that is usually impossible. Usually I ask them to modify the order, but I can tell the waitresses hate that. 

Last week I went to Ruby Tuesdays--a place that used to have healthy menu options, but the menu has changed. I ordered what I thought was a grilled chicken sandwich. I asked them not to butter the bread, to leave off mayonnaise, cheese and bacon, and to bring me a side of bbq sauce. I also substituted fries for a salad, and planned to only eat half of the sandwich. Problem was, when she brought it to me, it was a FRIED chicken sandwich. I read the menu wrong! She was not happy, but I told her I couldn't eat it and asked her nicely to take it back and replace it with a grilled chicken sandwich. In the end, it worked out, and it usually does, but sometimes it is a hassle.

Another thing I do is ask them to bring a box when they bring the food, then I usually put half of it into the box right away so I'm not tempted to eat more than I should.

Thanks heidilu and gi-jane!  I appreciate both of your responses.  I read them earlier today and contemplated some of your ideas throughout the day.  I'd like to use your ideas to help change my going out/restaurant thinking.  I think getting this area in check will help the rest of my dieting goals, not to mention prevent me from feeling guilty and angry about my self-indulgent behavior.  I like the take-home box early on idea as well as remembering that Nicole Kidman would not be at the all-u-can-eat buffet, so there is no reason that I need to either.  Being content with a smaller amount even at restaurants seems important.

I really liked everyone's input.  Very clever with the Diva attitude!  My only other thoughts are these:

If you eat something like an apple or one of those new protein waters (healthy but a hunger pain preventer) right before going out, you may fight off some of those urges that hit you when you're 'starved'.  Also, you may be able to resist the tempting bread basket while you're waiting.

I work in events with gourmet caterers always around.  The food is everywhere!  But I have found that if I keep 'safe' snacks at my desk: cup a soup, nutri-grain or granola bars, mini bags of nuts, I am able to fight temptations by eating one of my own snacks instead.  And they don't necessarily have to be super healthy.  I love those hard caramel nips (30 calories), Reese's cookie bars (100calories),  tootsie pops (60 calories), or fruit roll-ups (50 calories)-when cupcakes are coming around and almonds just won't cut it, I have one of these low cal 'candy' sweets instead.

I don't eat somewhere unless they make their nutrional facts available. There's some things you assume aren't very good to eat but when I've found out what's in some of the things I used to have I couldn't believe they were THAT bad. So I always look it up first. Some places such as Applebees and Red Lobster tell you what's in a specific lighter section of the menu but don't have facts available for the rest of the menu. Others such as Chilis, have a PDF file on their website with complete nutritional info on every item. So usually you can find what you may be thinking about ordering or an equivalent.

As far as office food being around, I try to stay full with small snacks and meals throughout the day so nothing will look that tempting to me because I won't feel like I'm starving. If you really want something, then eat it. Have a smaller portion rather than skipping it and thinking about it all day and binging on something later.