eating with men!

i feel as if i have a kind of silly problem-- i have an internship this summer, where i work with two men. it is unpaid, but my boss pays for all the food, which we generally get together, everthing the same: like a pizza, ham and brie sandwiches, muffins, and lots of ice cream as the work space isnt air conditioned (i always work ice cream into my diet anyways: its my life force). i only work for them 2 days a week, and i enjoy the break from thinking about what i eat. after adding it up it is generally on the high side of my goal, somewhere between 1500-1900. (weigh 130, 5'5" and i dont really excercise a lot: i cycle a few times a week but its inconsistant, i havent gotten in the summer groove yet.)

anyone else find that is hard to keep on track when you always eat with men? i feel like i have found that men are very bothered by women who are picky about what they eat, and i am kind of too, i just would probably not eat so MANY unhealthy things all in one day! plus, they always seem to convince me that i "deserve" it and that i am perfectly thin! (and why i wouldnt i take their word for it?!)

i have only been doing this for one week, so i doubt ill know if two days of unhealthy eating will set me off, what i am most worried about is that those days will sort of lead to many more days of unhealthy eating, as it did today, one of my days off.

any advice for letting the two days stand alone and continueing healthy eating afterwards?

Oh yeah, I can totally relate.  It's funny how some men only are interested in thin women, but they want them to be unreserved with the amount of food, and the items of food that they are consuming at the same time... which I'm assuming is something that most of the female population, or people in general, can not do and still maintain their weight.  Even when they guys are just platonic friends it's hard for them to understand that girls need less calories then they do on average.  When I'm in a situation where the food available is not nessiarally the best in the world for me I try to just eat smaller portions and perhaps pack a salad to take with me...

What's hard for me is that I'll start to put larger portions on my plate out of some bizarre need to "keep up" with the guys.  So I have to remind myself that I'm much smaller than they are, and I need less food to begin with, and I put reasonable amounts on my plate.  It still feels weird, though--like I'm less important because I'm not eating as much or something.  Must be my competitive nature showing through!

I would advise you to eat how you feel you should be eating.  If you really want the pizza, have a slice.  If you want to bring something from home, tell them you appreciate the offer, but you prefer to eat what you brought.  If you're pressured, make up an intestinal or digestive problem that would make eating the junk detrimental to your health and hopefully they'll leave the issue alone.

I actually used to have the opposite problem eating out with my fiance.  He'd ask me to dinner, wait till I ordered an entree, then order just a salad or a baked potato and say he wasn't very hungry.  He's naturally very thin, so in a lot of cases, the waitress would look at him, look at me, then give me this look like I'm a fatty and I should be ordering more like he does.  I talked to him about this a number of times, but he just kept brushing it off, saying I must be imagining things....until he pulled his little under-ordering stunt at dinner one night and I broke down in tears.  I guess despite my talking to him about it all those times, he didn't really believe that it bothered me as much as it did.  Now we don't go out to eat unless he's hungry enough to eat at least a burger or something. :)

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First off, at 5'5" and 130 pounds you are at a quite healthy bmi, so the guys are probably right that you look thin.   I work with mostly guys and have a lot of guy friends.  I am only 5'1" so there is no way I should be eating what a 6'2" guy does!   Just watch your portion sizes....you don't need to eat the whole ham and brie sandwich, just have half.  If they say something, just reply with "hey, i'm a tiny girl with a tiny stomach, that's all I can eat."  I find guys don't mind my smaller portions as much as they mind a girl who wrinkles her nose and picks at the food and wants only a salad.  They seem to have respect for a girl that devours 1/2 a sandwich and loves every minute of it, it's about the attitude more than the amount you eat.

I'm retired but worked in an almost all male atmosphere.  I was much older than the young engineers and techicians.  We tended to eat together at the central conference table.  At first they did tease me about my salads as they ate their burgers, pizza etc.  However, since I'm older and more mature, I was able to counter that by making a big deal of my lunch.  I'd bring a placemat and silverware, a real plate and glass, set my place and arrange my lunch as if I was eating at home.  When they teased, I smiled, and kept eating. 

Well, as you can imagine, that really caused an adolescent style stir.  I just ignored that, changed the subject, and the next day brought in stemware for my juice.  The next day I brought a cloth napkin with a napkin ring.  It became a joke.  But I quietly kept on.  I did this even when we jointly ordered pizza.  My slice of pizza was eaten from a real plate with a knife and fork. 

At the end of a month, they were asking me about what I was eating, about cooking and other things.  At the end of two months, 3 of the 5 were on diets.  I'd never said a word about dieting, just that I ate what I liked and liked what I ate. 

So don't let men intimidate you.  They are just grown up little boys.  If you ignore them, they shut up and like you better.

Not a silly problem at all! I work with alot of blokes and have the same problem... They get away with the awesome foods, like pizza and such, and there is the unwritten challenge to keep up with the blokes!

It is ok if I have the energy to whip up a salad before work! Very rare!

I don't think there is a sollution - just keep plodding along!

I seem to have the opposite problem at work though - I feel like i'm adrift in a sea of ladies whose only conversation topic is diets! They all seem to be on weight watchers, or slimming world or some other latest fad. Each monday they talk about how they have been 'naughty' at the weekend, each tuesday they discuss the results of their weigh ins, each lunch break they compare lunches, each day they nip to the shop after having eaten a salad and come back with chocolate and crisps and say 'I'm craving it donna, I give in!' and then proceed to moan about how they'll be up on their next weigh in...etc etc and the cycle continues! How I long to work with men who don't give a monkies what you put in your mouth! I want to have a conversation that doesn't revolve around salads and weight loss haha.

I always seem to eat alot worse when I'm hanging with the boyfriend though, when I'm making meals I guess I just subconciously divide the things between 2 plates equally, when really I should put less on my own. I end up eating the same things as him which is not always good for the old weight...

He is not a picky eater, and will eat veg and fruit if I cook them, but he never really buys them himself and always favors the junk. Like last night we made meatball sandwiches on white bagels...with cheese...and then baked muffins...and ate 2 each...argh! But hey, I try and let it pass. Life is for living eh? And as long as I eat sensibly the rest of the day, a couple of nights a week of eating yummy foods and having a nice time sharing with the man is a worthy pay off.

Original Post by sweetjuney:

It's funny how some men only are interested in thin women, but they want them to be unreserved with the amount of food, and the items of food that they are consuming at the same time... which I'm assuming is something that most of the female population, or people in general, can not do and still maintain their weight.

Amen to that!

The 'love of my life' used to constantly compliment my eating habits and how I`m the only girl he`s ever brought home who isn`t picky about the unhealthy meals his family cooked.

However after me gaining 20 pounds (on my small frame) he suddenly decided he wasn`t attracted to me physically anymore.

Needless to say I realised what a hypocrite he was and broke up with him, only to later take immense pleasure in blowing him off after I regained my healthy appearance and he magically wanted to give it another go. Grr..

::::::ON BEHALF OF THE MALE SPECIES:::::

I think it is a known fact that most men and I mean a healthy or should I say unhealthy majority, do not take care of their bodies.

We eat to fast, eat and drink anything and will have no problems at all at those wonderful "all you can eat food bars"....and we do not mind showing you ladies what a human pig is like too!

But you gotta love us...after all we are men!

However what surprised me was... when I finally decided in 2009 to lose the weight and stick to a sane weight loss program....how many women commented to me lately:

1-my you are eating slow now

2-my you are not eating as much

3-are you sick?

Yes ladies we are all still in a man's world, somehow controlled by you wonderful women??!!

So forgive us our trespasses when it comes to food and beer...fore most of us honestly, do not know what we must do when it comes to eating properly or exercising.

Yet we are catching on...on my road there are 6 women walking/jogging every day...there is one man....ME!  

And at Yoga class there are 30 women and about 5 men and guess who is one of those five men... ME!   and I like the hot Bikram Yoga!

It takes time, your patience and understanding but eventually we will clue in with those women who want to be slim and healthy. 

THANK YOU AND KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.

=====Lord I pray my buddies do not see what I just wrote===========

Thank you, themassageguy...

It's a sad but true reality that men don't have to be as in tune with their bodies as women do!  (I hope I said that right, because I know everyone should pay attention to their health to some degree!).

Everyone has the potential to gain weight, and put their bodies in poor condition.  But, as I've noticed with any guy I've ever had any association with, men seem to have a lot more leniency than women do.  Your bodies seem to metabolize food better, you build muscle easier, you lose weight faster, and you're able to "slip up" with a lot less consequences.

We women inevitably gain weight once a month, dread the stretch marks and weight that comes with having children, have to actually "diet" to lose those extra pounds that come off at a leisurely pace, yet watch it pile back on at the sight of a cookie! 

So, it's not fair for us to ask you to eat a dressing-less salad so we can see your support, but it's not fair to beat down the efforts we have to make to see progress in health improvement.

It just requires a little education and understanding from both sides!  My fiance can eat like a horse, and during a trip home two weeks ago, my mother commented on his weight loss! He can consume about 4X the amount I do, and his jeans are still getting looser.  But, I evaluate my food options, and choose what's best for me - because it's not the same for both of us!

Just remember who you're doing this for, and why.  Nothing in the gender differences is ever going to change.  So it's best to just accept what comes with being a woman, and deal with it :)

From an inverse perspective, I feel like it is difficult for a man to diet with women.  Looking for advice on caloire intake/activity level, I think most of the guidelines you find are geared towards women and I keep finding myself undereating and stalling my loss trying to follow adivce I find, but I am petrified of uping my cals and undoing what I've accomplished so far.