Eating out politely

I was just invited to a mandatory scholarship dinner at a small local restaurant. I couldn't find their menu online, but I did find a recent review which stated the following:

While the cuisine at Dolan's is often delicious, the place does have some drawbacks. If you're vegetarian, the restaurant is not a good choice -- in fact, it's pretty terrible. Aside from desserts, the only vegetarian item on the dinner menu is the mixed green salad.

I'm vegan, which probably means I couldn't even eat the desserts mentioned.  How I can actually eat at this restaurant without coming across as ungrateful or nit picky to the couple giving me the scholarship? Would it be appropriate to call the restaurant ahead of time to request something special, or should I just ask the server when we order? Thanks for any advice you can give!

Thanks!

Calling ahead sounds like a good idea - at least that way you'll know whether they can be accomodating or not. And if not, eat before you go!

Even if they won't make something special, you may be able to order a regular menu item with modifications - like a chicken/pasta dish without the chicken.

I would agree - calling ahead would be ok...if the restaurant isnt cooperative you could always eat prior to going and then order just a small salad (the way you want it)...I often find if I cant tell for sure I will at least have something prior so I dont get stuck either choosing something I dont want or not eating at all.

1) call ahead and see if they can make an arrangement

2) if they can't eat a small meal then go, have a large salad and a little bread and it's still a fairly healthy dinner, and it won't look too picky if you just say that you're vegan.

I would also ask them what side vegetables they have and order a double portion.

Original Post by slr101:

1) call ahead and see if they can make an arrangement

2) if they can't eat a small meal then go, have a large salad and a little bread and it's still a fairly healthy dinner, and it won't look too picky if you just say that you're vegan.

Like everyone else, I'd say #1 is best. I'm vegan also, and I know from experience that #2 is not too great of an idea, because even though I personally don't care, people feel really bad for you that you have nothing to eat, even if you insist it's okay.

"Invited to a mandatory dinner"? Now that's an oxymoron! LOL.

I think the people giving you the scholarship would be horrified if they knew that the restaurant they'd chosen conflicts with your dietary requirements.  Be assertive.... tell them that you're vegan, tell them that the restaurant is unsuitable and ask if they wouldn't mind choosing an alternative.  (Even suggest an alternative.)  In my experience, people tend to think more of someone that stands up for themselves than being an obliging little doormat!  I think you'd be doing yourself a favour.

I like the idea of calling ahead - it's polite and doesn't completely alter everybody else's life . Plus, there will be lots of times like this in your life - it's good preparation. I don't think doing this means you are a "obliging little doormat" - I think it means you are considerate. Am I right in thinking you aren't the only person getting a scholarship?

Definitely call ahead. You might be surprised that the restaurant is able to accomodate you.   

I got a $100 gift certificate to a STEAKhouse as a present last year.  I was considering selling it on ebay or something then I thought, what the heck, let me call them and see what they say. I thought they might laugh at me, but to my surprise, they said they had had vegetarians in before and the chef would be able to prepare an entirely vegan entree of assorted grilled veggies.  It was a HUGE platter, very delicious and very cheap compared to everything else on the menu, which allowed us to splurge on wine and dessert!

Thanks everyone! Unfortunately, changing the restaurant isn't an option since multiple people will be attending. I'll definitely call ahead of time and just hope things aren't too awkward. This will be the first time meeting my scholarship donors.