Ed recoverer: staying motivated to gain the last few pounds

I have suffered from anorexia for 20 years - although the last 7 years I've been highly functioning around 100-105 at 5'4.  I am trying to get to the point where I am no longer in the underweight category and safely in a healthy range.  I've lingered at the above weight, I think, because it still felt safe to me.  I am now 107 and getting closer to my goal of 115.  So....my mind starts saying this is enough - maybe my goal is a bit high, I don't need to be so focused on weight gain, I will keep gaining and gaining, etc...  How have others stayed motivated when getting close to their goal?  I think I'm scared because I do like eating and am afraid that once I'm at maintenance I will not be able to have the foods I'm having now because I allow myself them because I'm in weight gain mode.  For instance, went out with dh and we had dessert - I had a delicious chocolate cake.  I was upset because I starting thinking, once I'm at my goal weight, I won't be able to have that kind of stuff anymore. 

Don't know if anyone can relate or can even understand what I'm saying but I thought I would throw it out there.

You sound intelligent so presumably you're aware of the the fact that a normal healthy weight for someone 5'4" is between around 117 and 143lbs... keep reminding yourself of that as a first measure whenever you think 115 is 'a bit high'.  And therefore, if you're enjoying eating more, there's no reason to cut off the chocolate cake (or any other food for that matter) when you hit 115lbs.   

You could set yourself a new target of 125lbs and keep going.  Bigger people need more to eat than smaller people and your weight-gain intake will become less and less effective.  Well done so far and best of luck

Hi,

I'm in the same boat. I'm 5'4 and 107 lbs.... and I know I should gain some weight. I'm scared to gain for the exact same reasons. I don't think I'll be able to STOP gaining... Im afraid I'll get used to eating so much more, and won't be able to just eat my maintanance calories.

It puzzles me though because I don't look like I need to gain weight. My parents say I look fantastic and really in shape. I run and swim a lot and honestly have a lot of energy at this weight.  I'm worried another 5 pounds will make me look flabby:(

Sorry if this post didn't help at all. Maybe somebody can shed some light on the BOTH of us!

yea im 5"4 and about 95-98 lbs. i know i need to gain more also. it is reallyy hard tho to think of not being able to stop but what helps me is to think that i want to be the old me. the one who could go out to eat and order something less than healthy once and a while. someone who wasnt scared of food.

also i dont like the idea of people looking at me and thinking i might have an eating disorder. that helps push me to gain some more too.

I don't know if this helps at all, but muscle weighs more than fat. You can work out, gain muscle and gain weight. Plus, having more muscle means that you'll be able to eat more, because your metabolism will be higher.

I can see why you think you won't be able to control yourself from eatting too much, but just try it. Try using a food journal, or this site specifically, to just keep track of what you're eating. Eat small proportions, but eat what you want.

Arkham: The OP is recovering from an eating disorder. When her weight is low and with the obsessive behaviour that cane come with, it is likely a bad idea for her to work out at all. Building muscle is important but is often better done when closer to weight restored.

Asafko: You will need more calories to maintain once you reach that point but you need to be around a 20 BMI before you do that. At 5'4 that's 120lbs. Only think and worry about maintaining when you reach that.

"Abnormal caloric requirements for weight maintenance in patients with anorexia and bulimia nervosa" - TE Weltzin, MH Fernstrom, D Hansen, C McConaha and WH Kaye

Abnormal meaning much higher than usual.

Thanks so much for the support.  The minute I start gaining I tend to pull back and my mind plays games with me.  I will keep my calories up and worry about maintenance when the time comes.... 

BTW:  Exercise is not something I enjoy, but I do just enough to make me feel like I can keep up with the kiddos.  Lala you are very right about it not being a good thing for me - I used to get obsessive about it so I have to really be careful on that front.  You are just such a wonderful support - thank you for taking time to respond.

I am about 5 ‘ 4 ( about 166 - 160 cm tall) and my BMI is JUST below 20, in the 19’s, yet I also look full and healthy.. Large breasts, curves, a stomach, no bones poking out, and every one thinks I am the picture of health.

I think it is fine as long as you weight in every few weeks to make sure you do not fall to under BMI 18.5

Research suggests that being under a BMI of about 20 can cause health problems and put you at risk of developing problems, so even if you look and feel fine with a very low BMI of 18.5 or less, it is still healthier for your body if you gained a little..