ED Recovery Club

Someone suggested to me that I start this. I'm trying to come back to healthiness because I've been dealing with Ana for a while now and it's really ... not a good thing.

So...Ana (nervosa and athletica), Mia, BED/COE, Ortho, Bigorexia, whatever it is you might have had or are trying to recover from...I was thinking a good support topic in the motivation forum would really keep us on our feet.

Now if I'm the only one, well, then, just ignore me... *whistles and looks around nervously*

:)

guys, i think i'm getting worse.  everytime i eat i think, 'i should get rid of this. i don't need this.'  and sometimes, i do.

last night i came up after dinner, lied to my parents and said i was just going to change into my pajamas, and then sat in the bathroom until i made myself purge all the pizza i had just eaten.

i texted my friend today when i felt like purging. and he tried to tell me to forget about it. and tried to get me to stop, but it didn't work.  i still went to the bathroom and did it.

i just don't know what to do. all my friends keep saying is, 'i can't believe you would do something like that to yourself.'

and they randomly check up on me, which is nice, but it gets kinda annoying.

ugh.  i tried to tell him today, so he could help me. and when he tried to help me, by texting with me to keep my mind off of it and just telling me to chill out and not think about it, i completely ignored him and just went to the bathroom anyway.

i hate myself for it.

united- i want to get better. i really do. i mean, i think i do, but at this point, i'm not really sure. because that's what i told ryan and nate, and they tried to help me today, and i shut them out and wouldn't let them....

oh my god. i'm not listening to my two best guy friends in the whole world. i always listen to them. this is awful.

i can't believe what this is doing to me, guys. i really can't.

I suffer from anorexia and am trying desperately to maintain my weight a 97 pounds (5'2). Really I don't know how you all get away with these things -- eating practically nothing all day -- If I ate 1200 calories a day I would my parents would catch on. Actually, they caught on over Christmas and all my meals were supervised.

- Be admitted to the hospital to gain MORE WEIGHT than I would ever want to (for treatment, as I have a history of hospitalization for anorexia)

- And lose a whole whack of weight

It really isn't realistic to eat 1200 calories a day unless you are overweight and trying to lose (or like me -- anorexic and trying to lose) -- to maintain as teenagers (I am 17) you mostly likely need at least 2000 (depending on body weight: 45 calories burnt for each kg of weight)

I know that when I was really sick (80 pounds) I ate 500-800 calories a day. That might seem like alot, but I was a competitive swimmer and I lose 4.5 pounds a week in my last two weeks before admission (fat, muscle and probably organ). My metabolism stayed fast. I was hospitalized at a heart rate of 30 and stayed for 3 months. 

During hospitalization I lost on any less than 3500 calories daily

Fasting is stupid. It really isn't about how little you eat either, because once you begin fasting you risk slowing down your metabolism and gain no matter what you eat.

This site may not be the best thing for any of us. The numbers only keep us focused on ED obessions. Has anyone ever been to SomethingFishy? It's a website for ED recovery (for all ED's).

Somehow I wish I had parents like yours where you can eat a stick of celery, go to the gym skip dinner and then go to bed and no one cares.

I'm kind of ambivalent about recovery, but these are just thoughts

Anadrea

Eugh...I am not doing well. I want to get better, I do really, life is hell living with depression and an eating disorder. But at the same time, I do not want to gain weight, or even maintain. I want to keep losing. And I know that's the wrong attitude, and I've got to "force" myself to eat, but at the moment the fear of gaining weight is stronger than the fear of losing anymore.
I hate the weekends, because my mum knows everything I eat and forces me to eat food, cooked meals when all I want to eat is a sandwich. At school, I can just skip lunch, eat a small breakfast, and then it's only 1 meal a day I have to eat.

I'm fed up of this. I've got really important exams this next couple of weeks at school, but I'm so tired/upset/demotivated I'm struggling to do the much needed revision. I'm going to have to tell my school what's going on, because my behaviour is so erratic, my grades are dropping, I'm missing deadlines etc. And then, in a couple of weeks once the exams are over, I've promised myself I'm going to tell my closest friends what's going on, because they know something is up and they deserve the truth.
I've got a doctors appointment next week, and I'm getting the reults of a blood test, and I'm being referred to a counsellor for therapy. I'm really really scared that the blood test is going to show I've messed up my insides, and I'm going to have to go to hospital or something.

united- thanks. i'm not going to.

laeille- i know what you mean, i have my yearly physical soon, since my birthday is coming up, and i'm afraid that my doctor will find out. becuase if she does, she'll tell my parents.

Hi im a recovering bulimic,

been using this site for a year or so now, so good to keep track. Recently put on 7 pounds due to recovery and freaking out, anyone else in the same situation?

i would like everyone to know that i did REALLY good today.  i didn't make myself purge once.

and i actually did eat.  i ate healthily though.  because where i was, i couldn't risk purging, becuase i would have gotten caught

thank you, united!  i did, until i got on the scale this morning and realized i gained a pound.

so, i just purged again after eating dinner.  so, i broke my good run.

well, it was nice while it lasted. minus the gaining part.....

Hi united,

Basically my bulimia has come and gone over 13 years. I had had a 4 year break from it until last year. It suddenly came back full force, worst than i ever had it before. Slowley i think it has naturally calmed down. I think i feel less stressed now than i did and thats how im managing to recover.

However seeing the 7 pounds i have put on has really triggered me to loose it again, i cant help feeling like that. So i guess im not really that recovered.

well, kelly, welcome!

i have to tell you, united, pink, and all the others are very helpful!

does anyone know how to replenish your body's electrolytes so that they aren't imbalanced?

Hi Actress...You can get electrolyte powders that you add to water, also drinking plenty of water will help if you become dehyrated..BUT...neither of those things will effectively compensate for purging. Electrolyte imbalance is a very serious effect of bulimia, along with heart problems, tooth decay, intestinal disorders....etc etc etc..you know the warnings I'm sure. Also, re your 1lb gain, after a binge/purge it is normal to be very thirsty because you will have dehydrated yourself, you body will attempt to retain this water, much like it does with calories when it fears starvation, so that lb is probably just water retention, either way, it's just a number. It's so sad to hear your struggle xx

thank you.  i have been drinking lots of water, because i constantly find myself thirsty.

i never thought that my weight gain could just be water.  that's a good point.

and i know it's just a number, but it's that number, along with how i look that got me into this mess in the first place.  and thanks, queen.  i'm seriously trying to stop. but it's really hard.

i'm having a terrible time. extreme stress = eat = i want to climb into a chocolate sundae, with nuts and whipped cream.

has anyone gone through therapy in the real world for bed? did it work? have you tried overeater's anonymous. can we really get better.

right now, it just does not feel like it. feels impossible.

I spoke with my E.D. therapy group last night and they all agreed that if you're someone who has ever struggled with an E.D., whether it be, Anorexia, Bulima, Binge Eating Disorder, etc. you should not be using calorie websites. The therapist that leads the group fully agreed. Trust me, I was discouraged by this news, because I enjoy this site, and being part of it, but I'm beginning to think it may feed the eating disorder and the obsession with food, calories, body image, eating, etc. What do you all think?

wrkit,

I completely agree with you. This site had all the tools that someone can misuse. I used to use this site evryday to log my food and add my excersise obsessively.

I have started to use it again after a few months off and it really brings what your eating into the forefront of your mind. For example im trying to stick to about 1000 a day and as soon as i know i have hit 800, i start to think about the site and going over the limit and not eating anymore.

Its a personal thing as to if it triggers you, and it depends if you can use it to eat healthily.