ED Recovery Club II (the REAL one)

OK on acount of how the first "ED Recovery Club" was not helping most of us, I have decided to start a new one... The rules are simple: this is for advice and help only! Absolutely NO complaining about:

"oh no, I ate over 100 calories today!"

"I weigh 56lbs soaking wet, I am so fat!"

"I tried to binge/purge 3 jars of peanut butter!"

NO NO NO!!

This is for people who actually WANT to recover. All you are doing when you post these comments is hindering your recovery progress and the progress of others.

Lets focus on how to regain a healthy body and mind, whether you suffer from anorexia, bulemia, BED, bigorexia, orthorexia or any other ED-NOS.. we are here to help

Please girls (and guys), we all have the potential to be happy and beautiful, don't let food control and ruin your life.

I look forward to hearing back from everyone.

Take care. x0x

Hi, I think you can count me in.  i understand we're all at differnt points in recovery (some not recovering at all, unfortunately), but I'd love to hear from others who are dealing with post-weight-loss and recovery-maintainance.
I'm just trying to tell myself nice things in the mirror, work out alot, see nice muscles developing, and enjoy my meals and snacks! and the surprising thing is just how good i feel.  i felt great when I was 5 lbs. lower and never imagined those 5 would do anything but ruin my life when i gained them.  But I feel pretty  and stong now, albeit with another pound or more to go before the first goal of 113.
So, i'd love to get (and give) some support, and wish everyone the best!

I'm in =) recently I've been taking more control and been eating a substantial amount of food so hopefully I'll keep it up and not go back to my old binge-restricting days.

plus I've been in a much better mood!!

Well it is good to hear some positive feedback. I know I am feeling much better now that I am increasing my intake. I havent noticed a real difference in weight change yet, but that is good because I would rather gain slowly then quickly put on an obvious 5 pounds of fat.

Which brings me to my first question: when gaining weight are calories-calories no matter where they come from? Or should I eat more protein as opposed to carbs to build muscle rather then have them stored as fat... [But I have come to the realization that women DO look better with a little fat. No guy wants to @#$% a bag of bones, if they did then they would be looking at the pictures of starving children in National Geographic as opposed to PlayBoy!]

Hey=] i wanna join, ive been on recovery from anorexia since January, no hospital or anything like that. I took a stand for myself knowing i couldnt live with anorexia all my life so i told my parents and boyfriend and his parents the whole truth and they vowed to help me get through this. Without their support id probably be dead now knowing my lowest weight was 100lbs at 5'8. Im 110lbs now and consume 1600 calories a day (my sedentary amount of calories for my stats).

Recovering from anorexia was the bestest thing(well one of em) that could happen to me. I got the color in my face back and have so much energy now. Im really happy =].

I hope every one else is doing well in their journey of recovering.

God Bless. Keep ure head up high.

-Ornella Nicole Anna.

Congrats Ornella Nicole Anna! It is so reasuring to know that you are happier now.

Question: how does your boyfriend feel about your weight gain? I havent told my boyfriend that I am recovering an ED, and I don't want him to not like me anymore when I am 10lbs heavier or so.

Also, are you finding that the weight is distributing to the areas where it was before? and how long did it take for you to gain those 10lbs on 1600cal?

-Carmen*

I just posted in the other club, it was my first time. I'm not sure if I should post here too, but I definitely don't want to be a "I'm so fat, I ate 10 extra calories, blah blah blah." I definitely want to give support and get support from people. I started binging, purging and restricting last December when I stopped losing weight. I went down to 500 calories a day which led to the binging and purging. It strikes me every few weeks or when I'm stressed out or upset. I really hope to give and recieve support by being in this club. If anyone ever needs to talk feel free to send me a message or contact me through AIM.

To carmenxox - Everyone has their own plan when it comes to dieting or losing weight, not every program works for everyone. I watch the carbs, I avoid high starch/white foods as much as possible. I try to stay away from too many processed foods because of the additives. Lean protein works better for me, I don't feel sluggish or like I've overeaten after I eat protein. I don't go protein crazy though. It really depends on what you're looking for when it comes to losing weight/gaining muscle or maintaining your current weight.

It is SO good to have an actual recovery based post. I've been working really hard these past six or seven months in recovery since being discharged from treatment. It's way hard! I've surely had my fair share of slips since then and I hate it. But I'm still trying. Still fighting. And this is definetly a fight. If anyone ever wants to talk let me know. I would love support and to give support as well.

carmenxox - While on weight gain I found that eating a variety of fats, carbs, proteins, fruits, veggies, and milks was very successful. I know personally I'm supposed to eat more than 1600 to maintain. When I was on weight gain I was eating at least 2700 calories a day. It's hard but necessary.

- Erica

I'm SO happy about this new thread.  I only hope that the positive energy stays that way.  THANK YOU CARMEN!

SweetSmiles, I'm eating 3000, which is a lot of food!!! And Carmen, as far as weight redistribution, I have to say that the 5 lbs. I've gained in a little over a month have actually distributed pretty nicely.  Yeah, i've got more jiggle in my rear end, but I've been woking out enough that they are primarily in muscle and upper body strength (which is what I'd been hoping for).  I'm sure everone is differnt, but my understanding is that nomatter how the weight originally distributes, toning exercise over time will make a great improvement.

Anyhow, best to everyone and I'm hoping we call all help eachother on this thread.

Wow cat-girl, it took 3000cal to gain 5lbs in over a month! That is ALOT of food, I think I would be sick if I ate that much! I know everyone is different, but from the sounds of it I will probably be needing to eat more then like 1200cal if i want to gain some weight back... I am going to see a nutritionist soon, but until then I am a little confused as to what and how I should be eating. (sorry for all the posts!)

...and you're welcome aimengzi, I would love to hear more of your story because you seem really interesting!

Carmen: To answer your questions, my boyfriend is very content with the way i look, he held my tightly throughout the whole recovery=]. Actually my boyfriend was the first person i told about my ED.

I didnt gain 10lbs on 1600cals...when i started my recovery journey back in January i consumed 2000+ calories to gain 10lbs in 4 months. Right now i consume 1600 to maintain my weight =]. At first all the weight gain was in my tummy are ( I looked pregnant and bloated lol. ) but then it all evened out to were i am today.

Hi everyone! I just recovered from my anorexia about 2 months ago. At my lowest, 82 lbs (I am only 5'2") everyone was on my case about gaining weight. It felt really frustrating because eating was really the last thing that I wanted to do. Finally, I was pretty much forced to eat about 3,000 calories per day. From there, I started binging and I have binged my way to 117 lbs. I am not overweight yet, but if I continue to binge, I will be. I need to stop. I just want to eat normally again, like I used to when I was just a little kid.

Any advice?

Also, for those of you in recovery, I made huge progress when I started going to a therepist. She has helped me so much and I think that a therepist is essential for recovery.

Congratulations fo Ornellanicole and everyone else who has recovered and good luck to everyone else!

What a great thread!  I'm so relieved to find that so many of you are actively seeking a way to recover with such positive attitudes.  This is exactly the kind of support we need -- the kind I should have engaged in a long time ago.  Thank you for starting this, carmenxox!

I'm doing very well right now.  It seems so weird that all it took for my suffering to stop was just me deciding a few days ago that I didn't want anorexia anymore.  It's so strangely simple; something in my head just clicked, and I feel like I'm finally becoming myself again.  I think I owe it all to the fact that I finally got fed up with the ED, and no longer did any part of me want to hold on to it.  I truly WANTED to fully recover.

I've been eating three full meals a day, plus snacks and dessert, and I never measure anything out anymore and I try not to look at the nutrition facts.  I don't know how many calories I eat a day, and I don't dwell on it too much.  Everyday is like an adventure; I wake up excited to eat breakfast, and I no longer feel anxious all day about what my parents are cooking for dinner.  My mood has been so much better, and my mind has been able to focus for the first time in so long.  I have to wonder how much better I could have done in school last semester if I had had this focus!  I have more energy, too.  My appetite is coming back so quickly; I feel hungry almost all the time now, but it's not that horribly deep feeling of starvation that used to make me feel so weak and tired.

I haven't weighed myself -- I'm not quite ready.  Plus I really don't need to rely on a stupid number that would only hinder my progress.  I honestly don't see any changes in the mirror; if I have gained weight, it hasn't been negatively affecting my appearance at all, even to my warped and too self-criticizing mind.

One thing that I know I have to accept is the fact that we don't need to look like a Hollywood stars/models to be loved.  Women are SUPPOSED to have some pooch around the stomach area to protect the womb.  It means we're healthy!  I realize now that at my age, the thin, child-like body I have always desired is not meant for me anymore.

Good luck on recovery, everyone!  We can do this!

WOW! Great job Crystal! It seems like you have smoothly transitioned to being a normal eater. I am working toward being like that every day.

Carmen - I'm eating this much for several reasons: (a) I have panic-prone parents and doctors who seemed to think my weight was a way bigger emergency than it was in fact. (b) I never restricted severely, certainly never below 1200 on a regular basis. In fact, given how much I was exercising, I was losing weight on 2300 a day. so while 3000 sounds like, and is, a lot of food, it sin't so much more than my standard maintainance. 5 lbs. does feel like a lot though to my warped mind.

Shorelover.  hi! I think I'm going  to be in much the same boat as you...I know I can't keep eating this much and not gain too too much weight. The only thing I know of from personal experience that helps prevent binges is to write down everything you eat and have a pre-set eating plan for the day.  I'm doing that now to force myself to eat enough, but I'm hoping that as i have to cut back calories one of these days soon in order to plateau that sticking with a menu will help.

Oh, and Crystal, I feel the same way about my looks - I'm amazed how good I look in the mirror given that that weight has had to go somewhere!

And best wishes to all the great people on this thread.  Thanks, Carmen, for staring it!

Well thanks for the recognition girls! I am also quite happy that I started this club. Even though it has only been a few days, I already feel much better since I have listened to some of your progress stories and followed the advice. It gives me so much hope and a more positive outlook on the future. Right now I can't wait to be healthy again, I am just so excited to be "normal"! I know it will take time, but I know it will be worth it.

But hey lets not go dissing the hollywood women just yet. It all depends on who is your role model. Look at Jessica Alba, she is beautiful, strong and healthy... not weak and emaciated. No one thinks that a body like Nicole Richie's is sexy. Keep that in mind!

Thanks cat-girl! I just made a food plan for tommorow.

Question: What do you do for your food plan if you are going out with friends and you don't know what foods will and will not be available?

Please respond. Thanks.

~Shorelover

Oh, yes, I completely agree, carmen.  Thankfully, there are still many actresses out there who look very healthy, and they are some of the most talented and beautiful ones.  I know Jessica Alba gets her great body from working out (something I should do more) and leading a healthy lifestyle.  I was just referring to the very thin standard that seems to have taken over Hollywood and the model industry lately.  So many startling photographs are constantly being released of actresses who look emaciated.  It's getting a little ridiculous.  I really hope that the healthy look returns to being "in style" soon, you know?

has anyone seen Amy Winehouse's new video for 'Tears dry on their own'? her legs are SO thin. A while ago I would've been so jealous but now I look at her and think, I'm glad I don't look like that. I've realised that skinny is not always sexy, especially not that skinny.

Then again there are times when my thoughts are completely twisted, but it's becoming less and less. =)

oh and I'm going out for a chinese tonight for my mums birthday. I'm still gonna order the healthy stuff, nothing fried or anything like that but a few months ago I would be crying my eyes out and restricting for the next week. I've come a long way.. and i'm surprised how quickly too.

how is everybody else getting along?

Sasha xxx

sasha_nagra, what you said about going out to eat tonight...I think that's great to be able to make choices without panicing.  i'm still working on that one.

To answer your question, shorelover, I'm not the best one to ask given my total lack of a social life.  But, basically, I do my best to either know or guesstimate the calories in most everything.

However, if your main concern is about going on a binge, don't you think you're more likely to do it at home or atleast alone? It seems to me that if you keep to a reasonably strict diet plan at home, you wouldn't go too crazy with your pals? I know I always binge when I (a) don't have a plan and (b) am alone/ with nobody to know what I'm doing.
 Ofcourse make good menu choices and avoid batter, fried foods, sugary stuff, etc., but I wouldn't think it would be too damaging overall.

That said, I hate whenever I have eat something with uncertain caloric content. It's not that the food itself freaks me out, but I don't know how to count it into my daily log.  To be honest, I worry as much about going under calorie-allowance (still currently 3000) as going over.
For example, once a week my parents and I always go into town for luch and have a pizza.  Since I've been gaing weight and working to feel better about myself, I've been enjoying my slice a lot more!  But that said, I dislike not knowing whether it is 300, 400, or 500 cals .
I wish I could tell you to just "relax and everything will be fine," but this is one area where Im still fairly compulsive. But, I'm working on it!