ED Recovery Club II (the REAL one)

OK on acount of how the first "ED Recovery Club" was not helping most of us, I have decided to start a new one... The rules are simple: this is for advice and help only! Absolutely NO complaining about:

"oh no, I ate over 100 calories today!"

"I weigh 56lbs soaking wet, I am so fat!"

"I tried to binge/purge 3 jars of peanut butter!"

NO NO NO!!

This is for people who actually WANT to recover. All you are doing when you post these comments is hindering your recovery progress and the progress of others.

Lets focus on how to regain a healthy body and mind, whether you suffer from anorexia, bulemia, BED, bigorexia, orthorexia or any other ED-NOS.. we are here to help

Please girls (and guys), we all have the potential to be happy and beautiful, don't let food control and ruin your life.

I look forward to hearing back from everyone.

Take care. x0x

I'm so glad someone decided to make a new ED Recovery Thread.  I'm new to this board, but never new to 14 years of eating disorders. 
I was put on my first diet at age 6 and by age 12 I was over 220lbs.  Then anorexia got a  hold of me and got down to my lowest of 69lbs by my senior year of high school.  I too had to endure several in patient treatments with eating tons of food a day and no exercise.   But I am pleased to announce that I have maintained a healthy weight for my 5'4 frame for 6 years.  It has been tough, especially with the media being so unfair, but we have to be healthy for ourselves and not for anyone but ourselves.  So, I hope to meet lots of people who see recovery in a good way and not shun themselves for eating over 500 calories a day.  I can't stand that anymore.  Nice to meet everyone.

wow thinisin it sounds like you've been through a lot! congratulations on your successful recovery, I hope you carry on maintaining a healthy weight =)

okay so I've been panicking a bit about tonight. I wasn't before but now I just keep thinking about it. I researched the foods (i looked at the menu on the internet) and found out  how many calories are in the foods i want to order. but now I realise the info I got wasn't from the actual restaurant so they could be putting a tonne of oil or butter in it without me knowing and I don't know how many calories and how much fat is in what I'm eating. argh. I'm getting more scared as it's getting closer. =(

OoooO, im in, i would say more but i have to go but i just really want to be in read my profile, if you want to know more i'll add more later i promise but i do have an ED. had anorexia, EDNOS, as of currently my weights boosted but i still struggle.

hey you have the same... sort of... name as me. lol. i'll check out your myspace when I get home =)

sasha_nagra one night of eating out is not going to ruin your life. Remember there is always "portion control", enjoy what you want, just don't eat the whole plate! Some extra calories will not effect you too badly, [remember 3500cal=1lb] and your body would probably benefit from them because of the damage done during the ED. If you notice a difference in the number on the scale its probably just water weight because of the extra salt in the food.

Hey Sasha, I second what Carmen just said.  Try not to freak out, enjoy yourself, and yes, water weigh can change you on the scales by a lot tomorrow morning, so be ready to be okay with it then!

And, everyone, my news is that I went to my doc this morning and she told me that I've done great with gaining weight and that I have just over 2 lbs  (up to 115) to go before I can plateuau.  So I'll keep scarfing down my 3000 and keep working out....and hope (for this reason only! ) that I get my period again soon so I don't have to gain even more.

yesterday was really good =) my mum was happy with what I ate, so was I and I was satisfied after the meal,  but not uncomfortably full. so yay it was successful =) still more calories than I'd normally have for dinner but I didn't go over my allowance, well I don't think so anyway.

for starters i had Veg Hot & Sour Soup, for the main I had Stir Fry Noodles & Mixed Veg, and for dessert (OMG!) I had Summer Fruits Frozen Yoghurt - very unusual to see at a chinese restaurant! lol so I think all of that came to maybe 800 calories?

My weight has gone up but hopefully it's just water weight cos of the salt, like you guys said. Thanks for the positive thoughts =) today should be another good day. Wow I havent been this optimistic for ages lol

Sasha, that's great - you sound really good today.  I'm feeling cheery too...mayble it's something in the air?

haha yep =) the thoughts about weight keep coming back to me but I'm trying my best to just ignore them. I'm not gonna let it ruin my day!

I'm gonna find out today if I can go to New York in a couple of weeks =) last week the Dr said no cos my blood pressure was too low and it could cause DVT on a 5 hour flight :s but I reallllyy wanna go!! I've never been anywhere in the U.S. before and I know loads of ppl who've been to New York and recommended it so that was my motivation for this week! I hope I'll be allowed. I'm leaving now, wish me luck!

xxx

awh it is great to hear much more positive feedback from everyone! It makes me feel that I have made a difference in the world by starting this, yes? lol (ok i will turn my ego down!)

sasha_nagra I am just kinda curious towards your whole story. Like if you are around 101lbs right now like it says on your profile, I don't see such a problem. Because women CAN be 5'2 and be in that weight range and still be healthy. I guess it is just the mentallity, or did you drop too quickly?

How do you guys deal with the memory of yourself? That might sound a little strange, so let me explain; some of us here, I imagine, have reached weights that are too low to be healthy. Right now I'm significantly above my lowest adult weight, and it's a round, even amount, too. And no matter how much I look in the mirror and see that I'm basically thin now, or numbers-crunch to "prove" that I'm thin enough, or try on clothes and see that it's a size much lower than average, I can't shake the nonsense idea that I am carrying (X) excess pounds.

What do I do to combat that? It's really messing me up, and it's dumb because I'm already on the thin side and I KNOW that!

On the up side, I've been quite good about not intentionally skipping meals lately, and forcing myself up to my calorie count whether I like it or not, with supplements like flaxseed or protein powders if I can't bring myself to actually eat. And I'm looking forward to my Wednesday shopping trip - I always grocery shop on Wednesdays.

Hey everyone! It seems like most of you are having a great day. I am having a little trouble today and I could use some advice.

This afternoon around two I binged for no reason at all and I cannot figure out why because I was not upset and I had eaten a good breakfast (1 cup of Kashi cereal with soy milk) and a good lunch PB & J and choc pudding), so why in the world did I binge less than two hours after I ate lunch, (especially since I had just walked about 3.5 miles). I was, however, home alone which seems to be one of my major binge triggers.

Please respond! Thanks so much!

carmenxox I also agree that i'm a healthy weight, it's not so much the weight that's the problem, its the other physical & mental effects that have taken their toll. so I'm not gaining I'm maintaining. well.. actualy i do have to gain to get my periods back. sucks cos aparently everybody has a certain ideal weight and mine is just higher than i'd like it. Because my anorexia got caught early on (about 5months) my weight hadn't got too low. Sometimes I do get depressed about this and I don't feel like I deserve help cos I'm not a 'proper' anorexic. and i know it's silly but i couldn't help be a little upset that you said there's no problem with my weight - not that you meant to upset me or anything cos I'm sure you didn't, it's just my way of thinking, messed up i know but thats one of the thinks im working on.

so the therapist said my blood pressure's improved slightly but my pulse has decreased :s silly but he said it may be because i'd been sitting down for a long time. he told me to make an appointment with the GP this week and if my pulse had gone up i can go to new york on tuesday. woohoo =)

sorry sasha_nagra I didn't mean to offend in anyway. It is better that it got caught early on, because the longer that it goes on for, the harder it is to turn around; so consider yourself extremely lucky, although you may not feel that way sometimes...  My doctor told me that 45kg is usually the minimum that the female body will begin to menstruate at. (so like 100lbs)... so if you are at a stable weight right now and are getting the proper nutrition/calories, you might be able to suggest birth control to regulate your periods, because sometimes they WONT come back on their own.

congrats jainasolo it sounds like you are well on your way. (But i suggest to actually never skip meals because it slows your metabolism and causes you to overeat later.) To answer your question, the way I deal with my weight is by going out into the city and walking around and just looking at all the different ways people come in. You will notice that NOBODY is perfect, and everybody has their own idea of what is beautiful. Don't surround yourself with unrealistic models, surround yourself with real people, your friends, your family. You do not need to look emaciated to be worthy of being loved. Find positive role models... Jessica Simpson, The Pussycat Dolls, Eva Longoria... none of these women are stick thin, but healthy and beautiful, (although some of you may disagree with me.) But what it all comes down to is self love. None of us is perfect, but we all have good features. Focus on what you like about yourself rather then what you don't. When you feel good, people notice, and most people would rather be around a happy healthy person, then a miserable 63lb wreck. It's just a number, focus on what is really important in life, or you will miss so much... take care.

shorelover you probably binged because you just walked 3.5miles, your body burnt off extra calories and therefore needed more energy. Keep in mind that if you plan on exercizing you should eat more.

But I totattly agree with the home alone binge syndrome! Whenever I am home alone I get so bored, so that means me going straight to the kitchen to find something to "do" aka eat. I hate that so much. I need to figure out better ways to occupy myself.. tv/computer is boring.. its too hot outside for life!.. i cant go anywhere without my car.. ideas?

Carmen, my only idea for something do when home alone are pretty much reading and exercising and exercising tends to just prompt a binge anyway. I guess the best way for me to prevent binging is to avoid being home alone. But that cannot always be the case. I struggle with this home alone thing so much. If you come up with any other ideas, please post them. Thanks!

I think I've said this before, but i'm inclined to binge whenever I don't write down precisely what I put in my face.  The last two times I binged were days when I didn't log or otherwise make note of my calorie intake.  It was like by not writing it down I was allowing myself freedom - and I can't deal with the lack of structure. Since I've been keeping track of every bite of food (for other reaons, but still) I haven't felt tempted to binge, if only because I'd have to aknowledge the excess.  

Oh, and someone said exercise is a binge trigger...not so for me.  I guess hunger is, so if you work out too much or too long it could be triggering.... but for me exercise is just a great all-over mood booster that makes me feel both virtous and not hungry at all [sort of a problem when you're supposed to eat as much as I am, but I manage LOL]

And hey, how's everyone else doing with their weight gaining, weight maintacne and, maybe most importatly, emotional stability?? I wanna hear all about it!

Well when you excersise you burn calories, so therefore your body then craves more calories to make up for the ones that were lost. Which in turn can lead to binging. Not nessesarily right away, but after a while or so, your body catches up and soon needs more energy, and thus results in a binge. Other factors I have noticed that trigger binges for me are boredom, depression and frusteration.

What do you guys classify as a binge? To me a binge is ANY uncontrollable eating behavior whether you are hungry or not, if you can't willingly stop putting the food into your mouth, and the later result is an intense feeling of guilt = binge! [fyi; "any" meaning that it doesn't have to be a huge 5000cal binge, even something small like eating a cookie just because it is there and you didn't even crave it]

...and as far as weight gain/maintence is going; for me it is going ok, I try not to weigh myself every day, and when I do, I usually drink like 1-2 bottles of water before so I never know my exact weight. I am trying to focus more on how I look and how my clothes fit as a determinance in my progress. I have only been upping my calories by like 100 each week because eating more then that is just too much for me to handle right now (i havent seen my nutritionist yet so i dont want to do anything too drastic). But that means that I should have only gained like one or two actual pounds.