Edited Ugh - Someone help me understand guys - added some background

I know crazy topic, as I am sure it's just as hard to understand females...

I have 2 separate questions

1. Generally speaking - do you feel that people are more or less honest when drinking, maybe not drunk - but drinking and slightly to moderately intoxicated?
2. How can you tell when a guy is into you or not? 

I am very frustrated and confused... The story is long and complicated, but in general any responses would be greatly appreciated... 

I'm more honest when drunk, more blunt too. Don't know if the same is true for guys though.

Thanks coffin - I am the exact same way, I will say what is on my mind, good bad or ugly....

If a guy is talking on you, he at least likes you. If he's staring at you or hitting on you, he's attracted to you. It might be slightly more complicated by that, but not much. Guys are, in general, pretty uncomplicated.

looks deep into crystal ball, I foresee a pig visiting this thread before the day is through.

Original Post by bagga:

looks deep into crystal ball, I foresee a pig visiting this thread before the day is through.

The nasty one or the pseudo-diplomatic one?

All men, I've heard, are Pig.

Some of us just Oink Quieter. ;)

#5

poster-boy for abstinence, likely.

dimwits diplomat, possibly.

 

 

Original Post by hkellick:

All men, I've heard, are Pig.

Some of us just Oink Quieter. ;)

 Isn't it all men have a hog but only few are pigs?

I agree with coffincritter...... i am more honest, and blunt when drinking..... not always a good thing.....

I agree with HK...men really don't tend to be as complicated as women think they are...if they don't like you, they don't talk to you...and yes, what they say when drinking is more then likely the truth...

Thanks for the responses, do you think I should delete this posts?  I didn't mean to offer any "pigs" an invitation to attack me as a person...

I am very sensitive and don't want to get attacked today...haha! 

I disagree with the idea that we are more honest when we're drunk; I think we have less self censorship and control, and lack cognitive reason - what makes sense when you're drunk quite often makes little when you're sober. That doesn't necessarily translate into being more honest - more vocal, obnoxious and opinionated certainly, but not necessarily more honest.

As to question #2, I have no idea. I've never known someone fancied me until they told me. I just sort of figure that people don't look at me in that way.

1.  I think that being drunk lowers inhibitions and brings out the very worst in everyone.

2.  You can't if you met him in a bar.  It takes knowing a person in normal, social and family settings to find out if they're ok.  What you want is someone who has healthy relationships with his famiy, has old, trusted friends, and who treats people with respect and kindness.  You can't find that out from a drunk in a bar.

OK best to clarify a little - I did NOT meet him in a bar...

I've known this person for years, but he has said somethings to me when he was drinking that have me questioning a lot of things.  

But I do agree that achlohol does hinder someone's ability to think clearly, and Ponda makes a great point when stating that a person usually doesn't do the things sober, that they are willing to do drunk, thus being a very good way of looking at it... Thanks for this perspective...

It doesn't really matter if they mean what they say when they're drunk - if they're not going to say it, follow up on it or even remember it when they're sober.

I'm of the mindset that if you have to really question whether or not someone is "into" you, then they're probably not that into you. Which is also a great book by greg behrendt and liz tuccillo.

Women (myself included), have a terrible habit of rationalizing a lot of behaviors etc.

Good luck!

I think when people are intoxicated they are more inclined to be honest or dishonest according to what there goal is.

Alcohol amplifies whatever emotions and intent are already there.

For instance, if they are looking to dishonestly just hook up with a girl without any respect for her or consideration for her feelings then they will say whatever is necessary (lie). If they are looking to have a heart-felt, respectful relationship with someone they care for they are more apt to be honest and be more loose with personal information than they otherwise would.

I hope this helps! Good luck! The story sounds like it's worth the read!!!

PS Auntmin, I completly agree that as women we rationalize others behaviors WAY TOO MUCH!

How about being told after several years of a friendship/relationship being told it was because of the alcohol?

A friend recently told me of this relationship - started going to AA - and abandoned the poor girl without any explanation.  Until finally pressed, he lashed out saying the old person was gone and it was only because of the alcohol.

How do you comfort someone - when things said and done seemed to be the contrary?

Nicely put Njaka - I've just realized that this isn't what I want... Thanks for the brutal truth behind it all...

I am a person who has never has let alcohol be a part of my life really, and I don't want to have someone who will continue making this a part of my life...

Thanks guys! 

I've realized that once again I am better than all of this!  What would I do without CC??? 

I too am glad I never got involved with alcohol.  Saw too many relationships mess up and people get hurt.  I try to comfort but I am limited with my knowledge.  Thanks for your questions and the response of the other members.  Norma Jean

Original Post by jess1979:

OK best to clarify a little - I did NOT meet him in a bar...

I've known this person for years, but he has said somethings to me when he was drinking that have me questioning a lot of things.  

But I do agree that achlohol does hinder someone's ability to think clearly, and Ponda makes a great point when stating that a person usually doesn't do the things sober, that they are willing to do drunk, thus being a very good way of looking at it... Thanks for this perspective...

 Ok from what Im getting here is that your friend may have a thing for you. He could very well much be attracted to you and it may have started to show when you were drinking. There is a good chance that this night of all nights he decided to be a pig and try and take advantage of your relationship. I would bring it up to him and ask him what he was aiming for that night.