EDNOS? Anorexia? Im going crazy! Please help! What is it?

Hi, Im new here and Im looking for some support and help.  Here are my stats:

Female

Age 18

Height: 5'3"

Current weight:115

Heigh weight:125

Low weight: 110

Goal weight:98

Everything started out as a diet, but I became obsessed with losing weight and counting calories, and started extreme restricting, chewing/spitting, and over exercising. I lost about 10 pounds in 3 weeks, (one week I dropped 5 pounds).  Ive started binging sometimes because I restrict so much.  I feel sooo bad when I "binge" (eat normal) and food is my enemy...but also I love it so much. Its getting in the way of my realationships and my focus. I always think about food and my weight. People see my weight loss but I dont! My life is now centered around weightloss and food and feeling fat...Im miserable, but I cant stop. I cant see a Dr because Im afraid they wouldnt take me seriously, because I dont fit the criteria to be anorexic.  I still get my period, but probably not for long. I want to get to 98 soooo bad, I cant stop until I get there.  Help me!  What do I do?  Im going crazy. Please help.  Im so sick of feeling bad about myself and having the stupid ED voice in me.  At this point I dont want to stop though, I cant let go of it.  Thank you so much.  Sorry this is long!  Please feel free to message me with tips, questions, support, etc.  Thank you!!!!

-Katie

Every single thing you have described is characteristic of an eating disorder; the way you feel about food/calories/ weight gain are already disordered. However, you have expressed how you feel here, so now people can give you advice that you can use to get professional help before it is too late.

There are a few people I have in mind that are likely to respond with sensible, sound advice regarding the steps you should take so PLEASE listen to them.

At 115 you are a healthy weight for your height. For both vanity and health, people who are already at healthy weights should aim to incorporate toning exercises 2 - 3 times a week, which is enough to get good results.

Physically, looking as slim and lean and toned a possible is the most common physical aim; people who commit to this life long goal of regular strength exercise 2 - 3 times/week as well as a sensible amount of cardio (30 minutes most days) will naturally achieve their lowest natural weight as a by product of their healthy life style.

Achieving a set number of 98 pounds will NOT get you anything extra in life. Trust me. Attaining a certain weight does not make life any better and you will not feel any happier. You will have exactly the same challenges and problems. In fact, it is highly likely that if you reach that weight, you will not be able to stop. From the way you sound, you are actually at a very high risk of not being able to stop your weight loss even though you think you will be satisfied with it now.

It is simple; if you try your best to balance your life, achieve the healthiest body you can, which will actually make you look as slim and toned as possible, will also allow your body to function optimally which will in turn improve your performance in every aspect of your life, which will make you feel happier.

Your only aim, from what you have said, is to be 98 lbs. Please have a think about how this goal will help other areas of your life. If you need to restrict, obsess about food/think about it all day, and if your relationships with friends are affected, then is your goal of 98 pounds worth it if you feel miserable?

There is no reason why you cannot change your body, and make it slimmer and toned with less fat and a higher percent of muscle, but you need to do it in a way that is balanced, and you also need to do it for the right reasons.

Think: 98 lbs as your only goal will most likely = you feeling miserable/unable to stop losing weight/ will lead to a potentially life threatening eating disorder that takes over your life/you will only be focused on a set weight instead of focusing on achieving other things in life/without these other areas in life you will not be happy

NOW think: diet is 70 - 80% of the equation so if you eat sensibly/ do toning exercises 2 - 3 times a week you will get good results/ you will reach your slimmest natural weight which means that you will be able to maintain it without restriction/therefore you will not think about food and it will not take over your life/ the work you put into looking great will not take such an awful effort, so the good results will be worth your hard work

You are only 15 and you have a lot to learn what a healthy diet and fitness plan is, so I hope you are open to advice from people who have much more experience than you.

this is ridiculous. your goal weight is a bmi of 17. this is ridiculous.  nobody here will help you acheive that. if your lowest is 110 and your body is rebelling at that point chances are 115 or 120 are where your body wants to be.

the longer you obsess with trying to get your weight down chances are the more disordered your eating will become and the more likely you are to gain weight.

review your goals and perhaps reset them. but if you think the forums of CC are going to help you become unhealthy... then think again

Original Post by fidget84:

this is ridiculous. your goal weight is a bmi of 17. this is ridiculous.  nobody here will help you acheive that. if your lowest is 110 and your body is rebelling at that point chances are 115 or 120 are where your body wants to be.

the longer you obsess with trying to get your weight down chances are the more disordered your eating will become and the more likely you are to gain weight.

review your goals and perhaps reset them. but if you think the forums of CC are going to help you become unhealthy... then think again

Well that's helpful isn't it. If you've got nothing nice to say then don't say anything.

OP, a doctor will take you seriously, you need to see one.

cherry berry girl..... you'll notice this is a public  forum. this means that people are free to speak of their own volition. so i think unless you have suddenly become the CC dictator, you can back off telling me what i can and cant say.

the goals of the op are unrealistic and unhealthy. and it needed to be pointed out.

and Btw your  advice was a real pearl of wisdom. really - you're a wizard.

What, telling her a doctor will take her problems seriously (as she was worried that they wouldn't and that's why she hasn't seen one yet) and that she should go to see one (as she obviously should, as she seemingly has the beginnings of an eating disorder)?

Maybe not a quick fix for her whole life but surely better than pointlessly abusing her?

Yes it's a public forum. Yes of course you have the power to be as rude as you want. I just don't understand why you would want to.

ugh i love self righteous people!!

Original Post by fidget84:

this is ridiculous. your goal weight is a bmi of 17. this is ridiculous.  nobody here will help you acheive that. if your lowest is 110 and your body is rebelling at that point chances are 115 or 120 are where your body wants to be.

the longer you obsess with trying to get your weight down chances are the more disordered your eating will become and the more likely you are to gain weight.

review your goals and perhaps reset them. but if you think the forums of CC are going to help you become unhealthy... then think again

Totally agree. If you're not ready to recover (ie, a sensible goal weight) then CC is not for you. This is NOT a pro-ed site, nobody is going to give you tips.

Print out what you wrote here and then take it to the doctor.  They will take you seriously.  It doesn't matter what the diagnosis is.  You know its not right.  They may even recommend you see a therapist.  They may be helpful cuz then you'll at least gain some understanding of why you feel this compulsive need to punish a beautiful young woman = you.

Good luck. xx

misscherryjane, Thank you for sticking up for me.  I will consider going to the Dr. and try to get some help.  Taking the first step is the hardest.

As for the others that voiced negative opinions, from my post, I am asking for help with this miserable lifestyle.  I dont want to change, but I know I need to...and if this makes sense, I want to want to change.  Im not looking for advice on how to keep this lifestyle!

Personaltrainer87, thank you, I will definatly take everything into consideration. =)

Take what you wrote and take this quiz( http://www.something-fishy.org/isf/questionna ire_print.php ), print it out and take it to a doctor.  Even if you dont fit the book definition for an ED you can still get help from professionals. The quiz will allow you to show the doctor exactly what is going on in your mind and with your body. And it can make the visit easier because you will already have an outline for the doctor.

I've had similar problems (actually identical stats and desires) but my friend emailed me this quiz and I was shocked after I read it.  My doctor and therapist have been helpful and encouraging. Now I weight train 2-3 days a week and workout to feel better not get thin. Im happier with how I look because I'm toned and have the energy now to even do full push ups and pull ups!

Please feel free to message me about any concerns, support or just chit chat!

Good luck girl, I promise going to the doctor will be rewarding!

I agree with the last post - An important part of recovering from anorexia is to learn how to look after your body in a healthy way, which is through regular exercise.

The best bodies in the world are created through strength training and strengthening/toning your muscles 2 - 3 days a week; the slimmest and most toned bodies that are displayed in the media are a result of exercise and healthy food - these people need to eat normally so that they have enough energy to work out and exercise! These people with bodies that look very slim eat and exercise - they do not starve themselves to attain a set number to weigh! If you restrict calories simply to lose weight and you do not bother exercising to tone up, you will become slim with no muscle, and you will have a very high percentage of body fat!

Building muscle increases metabolism (the more muscle the more calories your body needs to maintain), helps prevent osteoporosis (which people who have had anorexia are at a higher risk of suffering!) and it makes people feel better about their bodies. Muscle is also more dense than fat, so the more muscle you have the leaner you will look; a person weighing 100 lbs with muscle will look much larger than another women that weighs 110 lbs that restricted their calories and therefore has no muscle.

However, the fact exercising, toning your muscles, and eating healthily makes you appear slimmer than simply restricting is not an important reason to do it; when you become slim in the sensible way, you feel satisfied, you don’t feel hungry, and you can live your live without thinking about food! Therefore, you will be much happier, as well as being slim; if you restrict and don’t make any effort with toning your muscles, and you are not eating enough calories you will probably look bigger than if you had more muscle because fat appears bulkier, your metabolism will be slower, and you will constantly think about the food your body is missing and probably feel pretty

I am a personal trainer and I recovered from anorexia, and I have a slim and toned body without having to restrict my calories so I promise that every word I have said is true; I wanted to look slim and toned, and I did it without having to starve. It is a lot easier than starving. Trust me.

Am i only person who thinks that recommending increasing exercise to someone who's concerned she has an ED is a bad idea.

She's having difficulty eating enough calories, exercise is not the answer.

Rio: If you're a college student, there is a counselor on staff (every college I know of) that will help you, or at least refer you to someone who can.

If you're a high school student, try and speak to your parents about going to therapy. You don't have to tell them why, just tell them you're struggling coping with things. The therapist will not tell them if you ask him not to. As long as you maintain a healthy weight, you will not be sent to an inpatient facility against your will. Your high school guidance counselor could also help. I promise it is painless, and not nearly as bad as it is in your head.

I know you're not quite committed to getting help, but an appointment or two certainly won't hurt, and at the very least someone will be keeping up with your health.

No, exercise is not a bad suggestion. I am not suggesting high impact, aerobic classes or anything like that.

My point is that the OP should not only exercise and eat food purely to lose weight; it should not be just to burn calories. I explained that learning to incorporate a normal amount of daily exercise is a sustainable healthy habit that will have her looking slim and healthy for life; this is a long term goal that the OP should aim for, which is far better then her goal to simply lose weight with no additional goals.

I explained that physical activity and healthy food help every person function optimally and therefore enjoy their lives more. Achieving a healthy lifestyle is what every one should aim for, and the OP should also aim to learn to view food and exercise as a positive thing that helps her body, instead of something that is used to purely burn calories and achieve a set weight; that is not achieving optimal health. The OP can attain a slim and toned looking body without having to restrict and suffer.

If the OP is severely underweight with a BMI of 18.5 or under than exercise may indeed be harmful at this point, so the OP would aim to gain a little weight before attempting to exercise.

Exercise is inappropriate and dangerous for many people at low weights who are recovering from eating disorders, but the concept of what a sensible and balanced attitude to food and fitness is can still be considered.

It may be comforting to inform them about how they can learn to feel slim and healthy through eating enough and taking in regular exercise.

I think alot of people don't understand is that fidget doesn't sugarcoat her (his? sorry) advice and says it like it is. Something I totally respect, I may not enjoy or like her/his responses but it's the truth you don't want to hear.

At 5'3 your goal weight should be 110... not 98. Unless you're extremely short people should never go near double digits.

I agree that fitness could and should be incorporated into a plan to make someone happier with their body, at any weight. However, I think the calorie restriction is much more pressing problem at the moment. Not disagreeing with you, just thinking it might not be helpful until her idea of 'healthy eating' changes.

I agree. I was basically trying to reassure the OP that she can attain a slim and beautiful looking body without having to starve themselves; a normal amount of exercise and nutritious food will enable them to do this.

I feel that the OP needed to be reminded about what healthy and unhealthy goals are.

Restriction purely to lose weight = unhealthy

Educating themselves about what a normal amount of exercise and food are for their age/height/activity level/needs = healthy.

I have had anorexia, and it helped me to learn that I can have a nice body without having to only focus about the weight that the scale says.

I must admitt i have been going through the same problem lately. i am about 119 and my new set goal is 115 but i had started out so high and the only way i dropped so much in such a sort amount of time was  by not exedrcising and just eating less and less everyday... but lately i have been craving chocolate and high calorie foods like no other to the point where i throw myself on the tredmill for three hours a day until i burn twice as much as i just had ate.

    i just feel that if i eat more im going to gain weight and be unhappy but at the same time right now i cant focus in conversations my friends noticed how out of it i am lately for the pst month and because of my obsession with being so selfconcious i have been real snappy towards others and have low tolerance for people. and i feel bad because it is not purposly.

i just dont know how to go back to normal, my normal intake is about like 800 calories a day and i know that is extremly unhealthy but i just feel uncomfortable with how i look eventhough ppl are noticing a difference i am not.

what would be the right thing to do? or what should i do to stop feeling the obsession and self conciousness that i do ?

See a doctor, Ashxmalx. Tell them what you just posted. Good luck

:)