because EDstein makes me feeling im a ”special case”... dont worry, Im NOT!:)

Hello for all ladies from here!

Im reading your posts... almost im ”living” on this forum. This keeps me alive.

So my story...pls, I just need some support (cause Ive already found a lot of advice from you). Thanks to you (ok, and a bit of my ”rec team”) since june Im in ”recovery mode”, yes, I fixed myself a 2500 cals meal plan... for about 2 weeks ( I think I was never really hitted those 2500 because of some irrational fears), but I was around. Why just for 2 weeks? I dont know... I was just so stupid to let ED overcome again, and probably it seems familiar for you too what came... I was cutting back my cals gradually... for about 1600 where I am on now.(yeah, i was stupid, i am stupid!) And Im gaining (in the past 3 months ive gained about 7-8 lbs)... I have red a lot about starvation mode (and mr idiot ED makes us think we are just a ”special case”, so we continue not to trust our body, because we are different than others, we dont need those calories, we will gain on less, because we are ”Special”...yeah we all have our ”special”common, ordinary, stupid etc ED!!!!!).  I know Im not eating enough but my inner ”EDstein” makes me believe its enough... I really feel my body is getting better, i feel the hunger well (but i continue believe ”less” is enough, yeah, drinking about 4-5 l tea daily really can be convincing, im really disguisted of myself)

So, im conscious of the damages Ive made, and I really want to be healthy again and overstep starvation mode... a real 2500 it should be ok?:)

Thank You gals...

I wouldn't overanalyse the past.... you can't change it after all.  Most important is the fresh start and the right attitude going forward.  A genuine 2500 cals a day, every day would be a very good start.  Gaining weight is essential if you're to regain health.  And 'starvation mode' is not the problem.... 'starvation' is the problem.

Ignore all thoughts to the contrary such as being a special case, that normal physiology doesn't apply or even crediting the eating disorder with a personality.  (You don't hear people calling other illnesses 'Mr Idiot Cancer', or 'Diabetes-stein')  Your body is exactly the same as everyone else's fundamentally.  Treat it right and it should last you a lifetime...

Thank you Jane, i think the same...my body is exactly the same as yours and others...so i need those 2500 cals whatever ed voices says...

Today its the best day to start sthing new!

Hi. I really feel though hard being consistent is key. It is the only way for your body and mind to adjust and trust. Being "better" can still detsroy your life and health. I try to remind myself that when I use the I am doing better. It needs to be about full recovery. SO you are eating 1600 which is not enough as you know so how can you go back to eating 2500 a day? How can you push through the ed voices and meet that? Not almost like before but at least and every day? I think having a plan and knwoing that it will be hard can help. Hang in there and you can do it

dont feel bad about it , like gi jane said its in the past, at least you are aware of where you are going wrong . try your hardest to get back up to 2500 calories , you can do it fight those voices , remind yourself why you are doing this . consistancy is the key, and the only way, so keep going through this difficult time the more you do it the easier it will become , and eventually you will see that you can eat and you wont get huge . well done on the progress you have made , you can do this we are all behind you. its a long dark tunnel but keep moving through it and eventually you will reach the light h xx

Thank You girls... you know...sometimes I just need some support, to start seeing and believing again that the light exists...and we can reach it!

Hugs!