embarassed about dieting?

hey,
maybe it's just me being self concious (somehow) but I feel so embarassed about dieting.

If I ever said anything, I feel like my skinny friends we be thinking "it's about time" and then my not-so-skinny friends would be thinking that I was trying to be better than them or something.

My mother recently lost 20ish pounds in a crash-diet-type situation and now that she's gained it all back, all she talks about is how fat she's gotten, which is extremely embarrassing for me, her 17 year old daughter who is at least 70 pounds heavier than her, especially when it's around my friends or family. (latley I've resorted to agreeing with her and sometimes saying things like "you only put on 20 pounds? I would have said 40" just to stop her from her attention grabbing whining. which i know was mean)

that was kinda off topic.... sorry, ranting a little.

the point is It's kind of a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation for me. embarrassed of being fat and of dieting.

This may have been better suited for a journal, I guess. (sorry)

Anyone else feeling/felt the same way?

I felt the same way.  It was embarrassing to admit I was fat and I didn't see why I should do so publicly!   I really didn't want people sticking their noses in, making comments about what I ate or didn't eat, recommending some stupid 'amazing diet my friend went where you just ate lemons, you should try it' or asking how much I'd lost all the time.  And frankly, once you say 'I'm trying to lose weight' it's open season on every crass remark going!!  "Oh I'm so pleased, because you've got so fat lately...."   You'd never dream of saying that to a stranger.

My solution.... say nothing.   Don't explain, don't complain.  Eat what you need to, watch the portions, get in the exercise....  do it all with a smile like it's nothing unusual.  Act casual.  Don't fret over menus or flap when the office birthday cake comes around.  Cool and calm, cool and calm and they'll be none the wiser.    When you've lost some weight people are going to say 'have you lost weight?'... but keep it vague and keep them guessing!!!  "Might have done, thanks for the compliment, haven't been doing anything special, maybe it's this new outfit...."  Give them no ammunition.

Eventually, you have to 'fess up but by that stage you're probably past caring because you're so slim and gorgeous.  Keep smiling.

I felt the same way - for some reason I feel like it associated with failure.  I felt like saying "I'm dieting" was the same as saying "I have failed at being healthy in the past I am not trying to undo the damage."  Plus, the word 'diet' and the idea of dieting has such a negative wrap in our society - it's associated with yo-yo dieting.  It's just not a good thing.

I agree with gi-jane, don't say anything.  Just do it, and do it for you.  At some point people will notice, down play the situation and respond with compliments with a simple 'thanks', respond to comments about what you're eating with 'it's good'.

I didn't say much about it and felt it was a good decision for me. If you're self-motivated, it's an excellent idea to keep it as your own little secret. 

One caution...just to be prepared for. With me, I had trouble when people started noticing my weight loss after about 20lbs gone. So to them, it seemed sudden and they hassled me about not eating. It was a bit frustrating  because I was eating plenty (1600+) of healthy food and exercising moderately. It's been strange. My housemate still thinks I'm extreme because I run 30 minutes almost every day and have added 20 minutes of toning every other day. I try to explain to her that it's become a stress reliever, energy booster, and fine tuner...but she frowns at me like I'm doing something unhealthy. The short of it; people will react in strange ways no matter what. 

I found that (once they started noticing) that once they got use to my weight loss and saw me eating regularly, they chilled out.

You know I think that's so weird, people thinking it's weird or even bad that you exercise every day?? People reacting negetively when people lose weight?? I mean, my boyfriend has lost over 60 pounds and now everyone is telling him he's soooo skinny, he needs to start eating, one person told him he looked like a holocaust victim! yet he is at the high end of a healthy body fat percentage! People are getting so used to people being inactive and overweight that when people are being healthy and doing something good for themselves they look at it negetively!

thanks guys.
lots of good advice!

I can totally relate! I've been overweight my whole adult life (I'm 26 now). Even though I'm going to the gym now and eating better I got a ways to go (80lbs). I was never close to my family (at least we didn't talk about personal things like weight or anything like that).

However I find this site as well as a couple of other sites helpful in my weightloss. I like being able to tell ppl about my feelings, struggles (even though they are strangers) to get advice. I too don't want to look like a whiner with my friends and family.