Emberassing moments...and how to get past them

Has anyone had an especially emberassing moment because of their weight? How do you get past the emberassment and walk away with your back straight?

When I had my baptism, it was the happiest day of my life. I walked out of the lake (I was baptised in a lake :), I felt true joy. That day, my church held a celebration for the newly baptised. As my friend and I were standing in line to get food, this boy came up to me and said: "You're really fat, you know that? When you came out of that lake everyone could see your rolls. It was disgusting." Now, first of all, I know that this boy is untactful, mean, and poorly parented, however that didn't stop me from feeling EXCEPTIONALLY horrible.... and this was on the day when I should have been so happy. His comment hurt so much and I felt so emberassed. I still remember that moment, even if it was 4 years ago. There were other situations when my weight was the butt of the joke, but this is the worst one. How do you retaliate? Do you say some thing witty and mean, or what?

I sent you a PM.

Thank you buggyhair!

In the good old days, you would have had that kid by his ear and marched him over to his parents for a good talking to.  Now days, I would say just brazen it out.  Something to the effect of "when I want your opinion I will ask for it until then mind your manners" and then proceed to ignore the child.

There truly is no excuse for being mean and hurtful.  Even with bad parenting, this isn't Turret's syndrome, it's a child bullying an adult.  Bullying is unacceptable, not only for the rude social behavior but also for the child's own safety.  In this instance that kid is eventually going to run into someone who either schools him in manners or beats the daylights out of him.

you're right, however I wasn't an adult. I was baptised at 14... so I was 14 and he was 11.... now I'm almost 18,.. almost an adult and I still remember his comments... I guess that's more motivation to lose the weight and prove him wrong....

Forgiveness is divine. 

If you can, try to let the moment go.  His comments were very hurtful.  But you did not want your life intruded upon by him then - why allow him to continue to intrude on your life now?  That only serves to hurt you - not him. 

And you can not know - perhaps he has regretted his comments in the time since he said them. 

Man. I think you're a saint for ignoring him and trying to enjoy the rest of your day.

I would have either run home crying out of embarrassment, injured myself out of guilt, or kicked the ever-loving crap out of that kid in anger. Possibly all three.

I don't care if he later regretted his comments. His guilt does not require her forgiveness. Grrrr...

Tell you what, Violet18, since you are a sweet girl who would probably be happier if you forgave him, let ME harbor all the resentment and anger FOR YOU. I'll hate that little punk until he's rotting in his grave, and you can be all righteous and forgiving. :D

My most embaressing moment was a shopping trip for something special.. my wedding anniversary.... I walked into Victoria Secret and was promptly told girls your size can't shop here.. we don't carry anything that large!!

I left the store went dirctly to my car and cried the whole way home.. never did buy anything for that night.

I will never shop there even after I lose the weight.

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission (Eleanor Roosevelt) is now my motto feel free to make it your own

good luck on your journey to a healthy and happy life

I have heard it said that revenge is a dish best served cold and that the best revenge is success.  If you can't forgive him, use that to your advantage and think of it during workouts; it should make you work harder.

For me, it is former co-workers who talked about me "behind my back". I can't wait to see their faces the next time they see me. I keep picturing that moment through all of my workouts.  34 pounds down and 50 more to go!!!

Mine isn't as bad as some of the others. Once I was going through a hard time with my job and my husband.  I told my friend I was feeling anxious and having trouble sleeping.

2 days later she dropped by with another friend in tow.  They sat me down and said they wanted to talk to me, and said they were really concerned about what I was going through, and how mental/emotional problems can manifest themselves physically.  I was horrified and all I could think of is that they are about to tell me I am too fat or how I had gained too much weight because of my anxiety.  Mind you both of these friends are extremely thin.... at the time I was moderately overweight; I looked OK except beside these two :).     I must have turned 52 shades of red and my mind was racing to figure out how to respond.  Her speech went on for several more minutes till I was about to blurt out "so you think I'm too fat?" when she finally explained that the physical manifestations she was referring to were my anxiety and insomnia.  I'm really glad I didn't embarrass myself by blurting that out...

That just shows how much of an obsession weight can be.  It was all that was on my mind during that conversation - I automatically jumped to the conclusion that if anything is wrong with me - it must be my weight.  However, it wasn't on their minds at all.

I think skinny people - or should I say normal people - think/obsess about weight much less.  At least that is what I remember from being skinny.

Original Post by kmejia250:

I have heard it said that revenge is a dish best served cold and that the best revenge is success.  If you can't forgive him, use that to your advantage and think of it during workouts; it should make you work harder.

For me, it is former co-workers who talked about me "behind my back". I can't wait to see their faces the next time they see me. I keep picturing that moment through all of my workouts.  34 pounds down and 50 more to go!!!

 

I've had a few coworkers who truly were fat.  The conversations behind their back were not mockery (I rather suspect that most people have too many of their own concerns after they graduate from high school to ponder how to make others feel bad), they were concern about whether or not it would be intrusive to make suggestions about diet or exercise or invite someone on a walk during a break without making someone feel either excluded or singled out.  Now I just recommend CC and hand out black bean brownie recipes.

you're making me feel better already:) thank you... and yummy_kitty... don't bother holding on to too much resentment... he broke his arm a couple days later after that incident :) not that I was happy...

I have a 'public' and a 'private'

Public:

When I was 16, I worked at Jack In the Box.  (We all know how 16 year olds drive as well)  I was pulling into the parking lot at work and this guy, a good 30 feet away yells

"HEY FAT LADY DO YOU ALWAYS RUN OVER PEDESTRIANS TO GET YOUR CHEESEBURGERS??"

I wanted to run him over.

Private:

I had this really cute pair of button fly jeans that I LOVED.  I put them on one day and the buttons flew off.  ALL of them. 

oh, ladysavala...I can definately sympathize!  I had a pair of button fly jeans that  I adored. They were skinny jeans and they made me feel so beautiful. One morning. The top button flew off and I tried to use a pin to hold my pants together, because I was so adamant on wearing them.... then pin poked me in the stomach all day and then it broke. Luckily I was driving home when that happened:) as for your publick incident... well you already know!

don't let yourself get down though. one day i will be able to wear skinny jeans in a size 6 (or 8 at least:)

I've stayed surpisingly upbeat so far...although Iam only on my third week HA! 

lol... its ok... 3 weeks is quite a lot considerin i've never lasted as long. Today is my 3rd day and I'm suprisingly upbeat too! (that should tell you a lot about my force of will:) great job! I hope to last a long time this time. I think i will, now that i've found this site:)

Ohhh Violet18, I can completely relate! 

Last summer, I was at the beach...I picked a really private spot so i could get a tan.  I was wearing a bikini, but i already felt self-conscious enough as it was when two little boys started running up the beach...All of a sudden, I heard them snickering, and one of them said "Hey look!  It's a beached whale!"  I packed my stuff up and left the beach as soon as those kids were out of sight.  If he had said something to me directly, I probably would have said something about how he looked like his face had been run over by a car...

ahhhh yessss... the beach stories...I have a lot of them.. I have never heard anyone say anything like that, but a facial expression is worth a thousand words...

don't worry marisizzle, soon we're going to look hotter than any of those scrawny swim suit models... :)

I would have probably have been hurt too but would have said something like "i dont remember asking your opinion" and if he continued i would have just gotten more mean  back i know that may not be the best way but i would feel better and i have a bad temper when stupid people are present...but im getting better at controling it lol.

I would have been tempted to just smile sweetly and say, "At least my diet will be a lot cheaper than all the plastic surgery you'll need to not look like a troll."  Although, since you were both young, I suppose "Is that your face or did your neck throw up?" would have worked just as well.

As an adult, I'm not really that self-conscious about my weight.  If I'm out with friends and I see snotty girls looking at me and snickering I figure they're just jealous that I have cuter shoes or bigger boobs than they do and have no better way to validate themselves that to call me fat.  If I'm in a particularly bitchy mood, I might flirt with their dates just to see their expressions when the guys flirt back. :)

You'll probably always remember that hurtful remark, but turn it into a positive thing and use it as motivation.  When you don't think you have the energy to exercise or you're having a hard time resisting that box of cookies in the cupboard, remember that moment and think about how good it will feel to run into that kid when you're at your goal weight and have his jaw drop at how hot you are.

I've got a button-popping story from 2 years ago.  I was at a funeral for one of my mom's friend's mother.  We were in the church, sitting in a pew, then it came time in the mass to stand up for a while.  Oh I was wearing this (hideous) gray olive drab colored dress that buttoned down the front...it had a very japanese feel to it especially at the neck where a little triangle at the top of the right side of the dress crossed and got buttoned on the left side base of the neck.  Anyhow we're now standing and the dress is tight on me and I take a bigger breath and the button right over my belly pops off!  Luckily I found it on the floor, kept it and my mom was able to use a safety pin through the button and pin it discreetly back in place to my dress.  I was in a particularly moody stage of my life then so I was pissed but didn't really care.  Cuz now I had a reason to get rid of that fugly dress lol! :P