The emotions of weight loss

I'm sure there's another thread like this one. I just need to get my thoughts out.

I'm not giving up. I actually just got back from a run, so that isn't the point. When I started losing weight, I knew I would feel proud, healthy, etc., I just never realized the BAD emotions that losing weight would include. These are some of mine, and feel free to add more.

Emotion #1: Anger.
Lots of anger. Anger at myself for not realizing I was so big sooner. Anger for getting so big. Anger at others for not telling me. Anger at others for asking rude questions (ie. How much do you weigh now? SERIOUSLY?!).

Emotion #2: Lonliness
Sometimes I don't want to deal with the pressure, so I sit at home alone on Saturday nights. I sometimes also feel like I don't have anybody to talk to because those I talk to say things like, "I really want to lose 6 pounds." I fluctuate that much on a good day, lady.

Emotion #3: Sadness
Saying "goodbye" to fat is harder than I thought.

Emotion #4: Embarassment
Of the fact that I let myself get X pounds overweight.

Emotion #5: Fear
Will the weight come back on? When? Will it be more?

Emotion #6: Pressure
To lose more. To get to the goal faster.

Emotion #7: Frustration
Wait for a plateau. Enough said.

Emotion #8: Obsession
My personal favorite! I have actually counted that I drank 900+ calories worth of beer. I'm not proud, but can't believe that after that many beers, I was still able to count.

Wow! You said it all. I've felt all those things and for many of the same reasons. I'll add:

Emotion #9: Shame

That I let myself go for this long when so many people depend on me/my health.

Emotion # 10: Disappointment

That I let my weight dictate my happiness and cause me to spiral into a self destructive lifestyle!

this is so sad to see all these negative feelings, emotions, reasons...

We are all responsible for what we put in our mouths..no one held a gun to our heads and said,  "eat it!"

I think motivation is the key you need to off set these negatives...I can only think of two...

#1-it is your body your life...do you want to live long and be healthy or what? I was told once that you can only love somebody as much as you love yourself!

#2-there are others who want you to be healthy and you have to remember they count too.  Our children want us around not only to love but to also see their kids. 

My Mother was over weight, ate bad foods all the time, smoked and drank...I loved her so very much and she died at 59...I was so angry with her because she never got go to my wedding or see my three children, or spend Christmas, birthdays etc. with us and I was unable to call her on Mother's Day ever again and say, "I love you Mom!"

What you do to your body is so important not only for you but others to.

 

 

I've definately felt shame and disappointment too. I missed so many!

themassageguy-If you read my comment at the beginning, I say that I just didn't realize the bad emotions that come with weight loss. I have had plenty of good emotions (50 pounds, the 'obese' title and oh so many clothes gone), the motivation is there and I'm continuing everything that I've done. I was just thinking maybe some others need to see others feel the same way and need to get feelings out.

I am so with you on those emotions.  I'm down 125 lbs.  Should be proud huh?  I am in the phase where I have not forgiven myself for letting this happen.   I lost 60 pounds in 2000 and I thought I beat it and had won.  Umm, no.  In 2004 I started gaining weight and put the 60 back on and thennnnnnnnnn added another 50 lbs to it to reach the highest weight ever in 2007!

I am angry at myself.  NOBODY knows how much weight I've lost because I am embarassed that I got that fat in the first place.   I am scared to death that I am going to let it go again.  I mentally picture my weight problem as the tazmanian devil (bugs bunny!).  Right now he is quite and in a cage, fully contained.  I am scared to take my eyes off him in case he gets out!  This is another emotion/feeling for me, obsession over losing control. 

I think I need to lose another 10 pounds.  Now I am pissed off that I am hitting a plateau.  Really?  Now? For the first time my weight loss stalls?  WTF?  LOL. 

And I am tired  LOL.  I get tired of obsessing over calories, exercise, losing that 10 pounds, etc...  Last night while watching the Biggest Loser I cried the entire time because the contestants where experiencing a lot of these kinds of emotions and its simply tough to handle! 

But... thank you for writing this post... because now I know I am not alone in these feelings and am not a complete freak.  Or, at least, I know there are other freaks like me.   

 

You know - we all jump on the band wagon trying to turn people's thought processes around.  But the OP is right.  Sharing your "bad" emotions is an important part of the process. 

The bad emotions come about because we ARE taking responsibility.  Part of that is recognizing every part of how we feel and why we feel that way.

There is no one sidedness in losing weight.  Many times we have to turn it around and sometime we just have to share what is going on.

Sure i have felt shame and anger.  And some creeping amazement that I never thought I could lose weight.  Seriously - I cant tell you how many times I thought i just had to accept my body as it was.  It was a revelation to me that there was something I could do. 

Just lately there has been frustration that losing weight is a slow process.  I want to be like the Biggest Loser folk and have a total change in a season.  They are so amazingly lucky to have the chance to reinvent themselves from the bottom up.  It takes me longer and I really wish it didn't! 

 

OMG i totally agree with this! And I hate most of it. Some of it helps me realize how far I've and how far i still have left.

The bad part is what nobody warns you about. I'm disappointed that I didn't try to lose weight sooner and angry that I spent so much time feeling uncomfortable being bigger.

I am also feeling guilty that I have been so selfish. At the beginning I wasn't willing to be better for my family or friends (to be healthier) and now I am trying to lose weight in spite of them.

Don't forget insecurity. I was afraid to approach guys when I was bigger b/c i didnt want to be rejected. Now that I'm smaller i don't know how to act differently even though I look different.

Hugs for everyone. Woman are just so fantastic aren't they? We feel so much!

For me, what I feel the most is

*relieved - like someone previoulsy said, I thought that I was just going to be fat forever - I am so RELIEVED that I have found a way, a (realtively) easy, healthy way, not to be.

* impatient - I want to see what I look like when I reach my goal! Can't flippin wait.

* Happy - that I'm FINALLY doind something about this weight that has made me so miserable for so long.

* Proud - that I've come this far.

* Suprised - that I'm actually doing this, I'm not failing, and I'm enjoying it....including the intense excercise! Weird.

It just feels like it's never going to be enough and other people are always going to think of me as inferior, weak, and gross (if you didn't see my post, I was called disgusting by a stranger in public earlier this week; talk about a motivator).

This is a great thread.  I have lost 80 pounds so far and have 22 left.  The thing is that I have done this before.  15 years ago I lost 135 pounds, and kept it off for almost 10 years.  When my children left home, I fell into a depression so deep that I put almost all of the weight back on.  So here I am, at the age of 47, doing it all over again.

I think that my fat was a buffer in the past.  It was like wearing an innertube where people can't get close to you.  Oh, sure, I had friends, but I also had my secret binges, loved to eat in my car, never went clothes shopping with friends.

As I am  now down to what looks like a normal weight to people don't know me, all of these fears are coming up.  It's like I self-medicated with food.  There are no excuses now.   I can't use the excuse that somebody doesn't like me because they don't like fat people. 

But, even with all of the bad feelings, I walk a little taller these days.  I have done it, again  How many people can say that they have lost and gained and lost this much weight?  I now say to people, well, I've just got the ability to be very goal-oriented.  Is that really the reason I've been able to do this?  There is some reason in all of us that says, no, we're not giving up. 

The moral of my story is that we are all survivors here.  We are not the walking wounded anymore.  We don't carry our disease on our body for the world to see.  Every day is a gift for us, a gift that we made happen. 

Now, that is one positive thing!

My main thing is Frustration with others when I tell them how much I have to lose. Seems like any thing under 30 pounds and they think you are just an annoying "skinny" person. I've lost about 45-60 lbs, the thing is it's the same 15-20lbs I keep losing and gaining back.

Mine has to be disappointment and disillusion. The other day I was at my uncle's house and my uncle was talking about how good I look and I was laughing and trying not to blush so I made a joke about wasn’t I pretty before and then he's like NO you weren't.

That hurt me so much and it did make me realize that looks are such a fake thing and before I wasn’t worthy of being call pretty and it just makes me so angry.

I'm still dieting but not to be called hot or anything like that but to be healthy and feel OK with my own skin and body but whenever I hear someone say something about looks all I can think is I’m still me inside 280 lbs. or 130 lbs and that people who put such value in looks just makes me sad.

I have had a really rough couple of years since my mom died. Depression hit and I medicated with my favorite drugs: beer and food! I've spent the last few months getting myself back in check and it is VERY emotional! This thread is uncanny, I have been thinking these very same things.

In mourning: That's how I feel. I miss hanging out on the patio of the local restaurant having my beer and nachos. I miss going out because I'm at a stage where I know I can't be trusted not to eat something horrific. I spend a lot of weekends at home, too because I know what happens when I go out.

I know it's temporary, but I just miss my old life! I don't know how I stayed slim before all this happened. I really let myself get into some very bad habits

Also, when I lose 10lbs or so, I feel small. Not small as in skinny, but empty and little. When I realized that, I realized my food addiction was worse than I thought.

I think this thread is putting in words what we all know, that losing weight is more than just pounds, it's the loss of a way of life, and it's the beginning of a new one.  It takes baby steps every day just to walk away from that old life.  Even though we all know that our weight made us miserable, sometimes it was comforting to be the invisible fat girl, it was easy to hide in plain sight. 

I remember my days of going to the Sonic in the morning for breakfast, loading up on food, then hitting it again for lunch.  I remember stuffing my face with the best tasting things and feeling so loved.  I also remember the total embarasment of having a car park too close to my driver's side door and unable to get in because I was just too big.  Then there was the horror of being too big to get in through the passenger side door and climb to the driver's seat. 

The worst thing for me was I never changed my driver's license picture.  I just renewed online and kept the one with my 135 weight.  Both of my sons are in the military, and in order to go on base you must show your driver's license and proof of insurance.  Every occasion that I have tried to go on base in the past 3 years I have been told that the picture does not look like me.  One actually went and showed it to the other officer, and I saw them discussing the picture, questioning if it was possible for that to really be me. 

Trying to keep your eyes on the prize is sometimes tricky, but very doable when you think back to those days, at least for me it is.

1. Shame - of being so fat, and shame to accept that I was fat
2. Fear - of eating too much, gaining the weight back and some
3. Pressure - to just diet, diet and diet, no matter what
4. Feeling of being left out - watching others eat hamburgers and candy, and offering me some, only to get an answer like "sorry, Im on a diet"
5. Success - when I lost weight
6. Horror - when I had gained, no matter if it was 0.1 kg or 2.9 kg
7. Hate and disgust - towards my body, when comparing it to others
8. Life getting boring and grey - there was nothing but me and my ugly body, and nothing else defined a good or a bad day than how many calories I have eaten or burned.

Those are/were mine. It was no fun stuff. Im glad I got out of the dieting trap.

Great topic, I was already looking if we have one. 

My main emotion in sadness, I'm not as happy as I was before (maybe because I don't eat enough chocolate), and I think this is because I eat less, but I think I have more energy-at least for walking around.

The other thing is that I have a big fear that I won't succeed, that I will stay the same as I am now and just except my weight and still not be happy with it. When I think of that I start eating more, and the food is usually unhealthy 

So have do the rest of you overcome the fear of not succeeding and continue with your diet?

I am glad that others have the same feelings that I do! I thought I was just being my normal crazy self.

I almost feel like part of me is gone. Like I'm mourning the old me.

That's really strange to me, but I miss being able to eat what I want, when I want without caring about it.

Anybody else experience this?

 

A lot of what is going on here is negative self talk.  A great book that addresses these  issues is The Beck Diet, written by a prominent  cognitive therapist.  Its not a "diet" per se - you can choose any "diet" you want.  The key feature is what we TELL ourselves, about ourselves, and about dieting.  It addresses all the common lies (errors) we tell ourselves that sabatage our dieting efforts.  Check it out on amazon.