The emotions of weight loss

I'm sure there's another thread like this one. I just need to get my thoughts out.

I'm not giving up. I actually just got back from a run, so that isn't the point. When I started losing weight, I knew I would feel proud, healthy, etc., I just never realized the BAD emotions that losing weight would include. These are some of mine, and feel free to add more.

Emotion #1: Anger.
Lots of anger. Anger at myself for not realizing I was so big sooner. Anger for getting so big. Anger at others for not telling me. Anger at others for asking rude questions (ie. How much do you weigh now? SERIOUSLY?!).

Emotion #2: Lonliness
Sometimes I don't want to deal with the pressure, so I sit at home alone on Saturday nights. I sometimes also feel like I don't have anybody to talk to because those I talk to say things like, "I really want to lose 6 pounds." I fluctuate that much on a good day, lady.

Emotion #3: Sadness
Saying "goodbye" to fat is harder than I thought.

Emotion #4: Embarassment
Of the fact that I let myself get X pounds overweight.

Emotion #5: Fear
Will the weight come back on? When? Will it be more?

Emotion #6: Pressure
To lose more. To get to the goal faster.

Emotion #7: Frustration
Wait for a plateau. Enough said.

Emotion #8: Obsession
My personal favorite! I have actually counted that I drank 900+ calories worth of beer. I'm not proud, but can't believe that after that many beers, I was still able to count.

My emotion today is anger.  I lost 70 pounds in high school and thought I had managed to keep most of it off because I wear the same size clothes for the most part, but I got on the scale today and realized that I have gained 20 pounds back. 

It's not -all- the weight, but it's enough that I'm mad at myself for not keeping it off.  I realized today that I can really see the 20 pounds on me and I've just been ignoring it. Bah. 

You guys are really something else, I'm just getting started and I'm learning so much. I think i rather have these negative emotions after i have lost 50lbs then now while i haven't done anything to lose yet.  I mean i have dieted and so called exercised but this is the first time i'vben serious about it. Thanks for being so real, for allowing others to see the truth. Believe it or not your motivating me.

Getting started

jerichohill, Good for your for keeping 50 off! I understand that it's gotta be frustrating to gain back 20, but imagine how much easier it's going to be (time wise, not doin' the work) than if you had gained back 70 plus pounds, which is what most of us end up doing after losing.

Bev

YES

anxiety-I can't stuff my face when I am bored, and now I am alone with myself and don't know what to do.  I actually have to face what it is that I want and need to do.  Because I can't waste my time by stuffing my face with food, I now have more time to do what I say I dream of doing or need to get done. 

fear of rejection/anxiety- Also, I now feel anxiety and fear of rejection, because I am reaching out to new people and friends to chat every time I feel like snacking.  It really causes me anxiety, because these relationships are really not that strong yet and I always have that split second of fear fo rejection.  I am also afraid of letting them depend on me and know the real me.  It's as though they'll reject me if they knew who I really was.

fear-Now that I am not distracted by food, I feel fear about confronting the real me and finding out that some things about me might be a lie or different from what I real want or am.  What if I don't really want to do what I thought I wanted to do?  What if that is not what I really wanted? Was I avoiding this confrontation by sabotaging myself and using up my time with food?  What is that all about?  This is a completely new revelation for me.   This observation of self-sabotage via food is a new observation and probably sounds insignificant to you, but it is huge for me.   

out of touch-I felt and still feel like a child learning a new language-the language of my body.  It's as though I still don't know my body's ways of communicating with me.  For example, sometimes I feel hungry but a 16 ounce ground of water with ice and lemon makes the feeling go away.  That is just bizarre!  I can't tell you how many times I used to just reach for a handful of peanuts or eat a 100 or 200 calorie snack bar when I felt that way.   Also, the feeling I used to interpret as fullness was actually uncomfortable indigestiony fullness.  What was that all about?  Now, I am starting to learn that fullness is just the feeling of not been hungry.  It's a complete revelation, again.  It's like having a thirty year marriage and waking up one day and realizing that you don't know anythng about the person you married.  It's scary, humbling and shocking.

Although I lost 30 pounds using CC last summer, I am still learning so much and developing a much more nuanced understanding of myself.  I signed up again this summer to watch my calories while I recurperate from a foot injury that prevents me from exercising.   

Original Post by jennifer58:

And I am tired  LOL.  I get tired of obsessing over calories, exercise, losing that 10 pounds, etc...  Last night while watching the Biggest Loser I cried the entire time because the contestants where experiencing a lot of these kinds of emotions and its simply tough to handle! 

 

 

 Jen - I'm right there with ya. My family has a history of weght problems, and I fear getting older and continuing to battle the same weight for years and years... and I'm so tired of thinking about it. I'm tired of the scale ruling my life. I'm tired of counting. I'm tired of all of the original emotions posted by Me234. I'm so ready to be healthy already! Just have to keep working at it though...

Original Post by me234:

I'm sure there's another thread like this one. I just need to get my thoughts out.

I'm not giving up. I actually just got back from a run, so that isn't the point. When I started losing weight, I knew I would feel proud, healthy, etc., I just never realized the BAD emotions that losing weight would include. These are some of mine, and feel free to add more.

Emotion #1: Anger.
Lots of anger. Anger at myself for not realizing I was so big sooner. Anger for getting so big. Anger at others for not telling me. Anger at others for asking rude questions (ie. How much do you weigh now? SERIOUSLY?!).

Emotion #2: Lonliness
Sometimes I don't want to deal with the pressure, so I sit at home alone on Saturday nights. I sometimes also feel like I don't have anybody to talk to because those I talk to say things like, "I really want to lose 6 pounds." I fluctuate that much on a good day, lady.

Emotion #3: Sadness
Saying "goodbye" to fat is harder than I thought.

Emotion #4: Embarassment
Of the fact that I let myself get X pounds overweight.

Emotion #5: Fear
Will the weight come back on? When? Will it be more?

Emotion #6: Pressure
To lose more. To get to the goal faster.

Emotion #7: Frustration
Wait for a plateau. Enough said.

Emotion #8: Obsession
My personal favorite! I have actually counted that I drank 900+ calories worth of beer. I'm not proud, but can't believe that after that many beers, I was still able to count.

emotion

1,3,4 ..i felt it totally 100% true..

its such a feeling when you jump on the scale and you see this huge numbers..shake your head..trying to believe you are seeing a wrong numbers!!

embarrassment? hell yes..everyone around you fit and have high high seld esteem while you are hiding in your dark colors !

****..its so sad..really..

There are definitely some negative emotions from losing weight, but why not try to focus on the positive ones? Just let the past be the past and focus on the future. Keep working hard and push yourself within your limit. By losing weight (if you are overweight) you will definitely gain self- confidence, self- esteem, and just be overrall happy with your results. I know its difficult, but I promise you the pain and time will be worth it in the end. Its tough but if you come out in the ending accomplishing what you wanted, you'll feel great. Stay positive.

I agree nyyankees, try to always focus on the positive and not the negative.  But sometimes, those demons just chase you down!  Shoot, sometimes they even chase me when I'm running .  Its just that sometimes, they catch you and for me, start whispering all that negative crap in my ear.  Plus, for me, I am finding that I still have the "fat girl" mentality.  I still see myself as overweight, sluggish, embarassed, (all those feelings listed in this post) and I have remind me... that's not me anymore.  But that other girl is still in there. 

I keep thinking, all the negative feelings and thoughts are like luggage.... just need to sit them down and walk away.  In theory, that's great, but reality.....

To those people who are telling us to be positive: We could be polyanna about this, but stuffing our negative emotions and avoiding our negative emotions by eating is probably one of the ways that some of us got fat in the first place.  Stop telling us what to feel and how to respond and let us share.  We will ask for coaching when we need it.  It seems to me that this post is not about doing and fixing our brokeness; it's about sharing and bonding and being 100% responsible for ourselves, including our negative emotions.  Maybe it's time that some of us get to stop people-pleasing (putting on the old, facade, the happy fat person mask) and time that some of us let ourselves feel these powerful emotions openly and work through them on our own terms without turning to food and without doing it for others.  It is bittersweet to know that I am not the only one, and I'm not crazy or weird and that other people deal with these kinds of emotions.  It is a relief actually.  

Original Post by bhmoore:My biggest fear, and one that I used as my excuse for so long was that I wanted a serious boyfriend BEFORE I lost weight.  I wanted someone who loved me for me, even while I was fat.  I knew that if I found someone like that, then it would be a genuine relationship.  I knew that he would support me and love me no matter my weight.  I knew that if I lost weight he would still love me.  And if we got married and I gained it back when I had kids, he would love me that way too.  I have this fear that I'll lose the weight and meet some great guy get married and have kids and gain it back and he won't be attracted to me anymore.  

Loving you for you has nothing to do with your weight. You can find genuine love at any point in your journey, whether you're on your way up the scale or back down again. In the end, it's all about how someone feels when they're with you. And THAT is all about how you feel about you. From some of your other posts, I think you're starting to feel very good about yourself as you get thinner and stronger. Good for you. You have much to feel proud about.

You know, even skinny people have to trust that their spouse will love them through thick and thin, good moods and bad, etc. It's a leap of faith. You'll know when to leap. Don't be afraid.

I came here to figure out whats going on with me...I have been overweight my WHOLE life.  Im 32.  I FINALLY "got it".  I started working out, eating right, making a lifestyle change--not a diet, because the whole D word makes me feel like I can fall off the wagon at any time.  I have lost 55lbs so far, I am looking good, feeling great (I still have 45 more to go!) I am seeing light at the end of the tunnel, I love it, I feel like this is the new me...but now... I have lost enough to where people say something about my weightloss everyday (I work at a bank) and ask how Im doing it and blah blah blah...Its really great to be complimented--but also, SO.MUCH.PRESSURE. I feel like "CRRAAAAP I can never get fat again!!"  I didnt realize how emotional this whole losing weight thing would be.  I completely understand that "mourning" emotion.  I really feel like I lost someone along the way.  I look in the mirror and I Hardly recognize myself.  No one around me understands this.  They just think it would be all great--and it is...but its just so weird. Now that I FINALLY, after all these years feel like I look "normal" I feel like Im walking around in someone elses body.  I feel so contridictory--part of me feels, invisible now and part of me feels hot as hell (sometimes), part of me loves the attention and part of me hates it.  I dont even know how to feel.  I am so proud of myself--but yet scared to death that Ill go back to that other person...even though I miss her in a weird way.  I guess its just a matter of finding out who I am now.  I used to be that jolly fat person...funny funny funny smiley me...and now...its like I dont know where she went.  I guess maybe the humor was my defense mechanism--be funny so they dont realize Im fat!! 

Its just all too new and too weird and sometimes, I just cry...cuz I dont know how I should be feeling about this new body, this new person I'm becoming...

Go thinmint!  I will tell you, I've been going thru this since May 07 and I've lost almost 125 lbs.  I have about 10 more to go.  I know everything you feel and I think I can tell you, it gets better.  LOL. I think.    I am losing that person I used to be and I am starting to really like the person I am becoming.  The new person cares about how many calories are in what I eat, how long or often I've worked out, etc.... because I care about me.  I think you, and everyone in here, should be applauded for all your efforts and, for surviving the unspoken emotional side of all this.

Yay us!