An End to Fat Talk

I'm not sure if this has been posted before, and I realise it's too late since the week has ended now, but I came across this video while browsing around and it really had me stop and think:

Put an end to Fat Talk

Even though I am now recovering from an eating disorder and am sensitive to how I discuss body image as a result, I realise how badly I did this prior to my downward spiral and how often my friends and family do this. Even just overhearing people in my lessons and passers-by at bus stops and train platforms and in shops - it's all around.

50% of the time I am with or around someone in my life they are talking about how they look, how big they are, how they have a (non-existent) chin/bum/belly. How they're so proud because they did two hours in the gym today, only had a chicken salad at a restaurant. How they need this and that and every little thing to make them feel better rather than just starting with being happy with themselves.

And it's okay in small doses, but it can become cumulative.  The gym is fine - two hours is not. Skipping the bread basket and being sensible eating out is fine - but where's the fun in dining out if you stick to chicken salad, no dressing all the time? A whine and a moan and fat days are normal - but when you start to tug and push and press on wrinkles and lines and blubber that doesn't exist or even bring you character, a human aspect, there's a problem. Only in the last year have I really realised how preoccupied people are with body image and it's not okay. And even then I know I am still not guilt-free, never said I was.

But healthly and human should be what we're after, not thin, or perfect. And the link up there is such a good representation of that.

Still, I thought I would share!

What an amazing video and point!  Who cares that the week has ended?  I'm signing up. :)

Bless your heart!  I loved reading that because it's so right on!  I know that I have been guilty but I'm working hard at talking "health" not fat or thin talk.  Someone make a remarke to me about how much weight I'd lost.  I just said I'm working real hard on getting healthy and fit.  The weight coming off is just a benifit to lower B/P and and less joint pain!  Thanks again for the post

wow, that was amazing! thank you for sharing! let's make this next week fat talk free week as well, why limit it to just one week?

This is so true also, women get so caught up in how we look, how much we weight, what size we wear. Smart, capable, incredible women, and we're using our power and focus on such a trivial, and un important thing. Instead of using our strenghts to make the world a better place, we use it to demean ourselves for a number on a scale that no one reads but ourselves.

What if instead of people boasting over accomplishments like only eating a salad for lunch or losing 5 lbs we boasted about organizing community service projects, taking care of your children, making your friends smile, teaching the dog a new trick, calling your grandparents, there are so may other things that will matter a million times more in the long run.

I'm also willing to be that if society as a whole weren't so consumed with this ideal of being thin, and diets, and food, most people would not have a weight problem or health problems related to weight to start.

Thanks lalabanana.  I loved that.  I try to so hard to avoid that talk in my household because I have a beautiful 8 yr old daughter.  She is so confident and happy. I want her to always feel the way she does now.  We do talk about healthy food choices a lot though.  A few weeks ago I had a relative in town.  I was tyring to make my daughter have her broccoli and skip a third helping of macaroni.  I told her she needs balance...some of everything, not too much of one thing.  My relative piped in - "If you have more pasta you will end up with a belly like mine." 

I move into damage control mode right away - We don't care about bellies, I say, but we try to be healthy around here. 

It's tough.  It's all around us.  So many people are so clueless.  Thanks for getting the word out.  We need more of that.

agreed. 100% true, perfect is a flaw in itself. whats the point in life if you dont stop and smell the flowers. your list of expectations will always be there, even after you die, people will still speak of you, get over it and feel good about yourself! whats gonna happen if people 'disaprove' all you should want is happiness, acceptance. i've found feminism helps me feel confident abut myself,as a kid truth or dare and being open helps me (and my friends) feel closer and more 'normal' (but technically there is no normal)

laura's completely right, people are clueless. i was recovering ED, i ate a bit more than normal and was called a pig, that was what i needed to be healthy, it's the same now im recovered, kids need more than adults, so if i have the slightest bit more than my Uncle i 'should stop being so greedy'.

up his backside, im more confident now, im happier with myself and i've found it helps me with every aspect of life; school, friends, motivaion, motivation to exercise and enjoying things that are meant to be enjoyed!

when people talk about it...its because they know something is wrong but they arent exactly sold on how to go about fixing it (or if it needs fixing).

Its like when people i know tell me they did an entire 30 minutes on a workout machine and seem so proud of themselves. I know they are just "testing the waters" and trying to ease into living a healthier life (which is good). Even though what they are doing isnt quite enough to get those types of goals.

But there is nothing wrong with wanting a better body... there is NO excuse to have folds of fat all over... the ONLY reason that happens is from eating more than your body needs and not paying attention to your body for extended periods of time.

So when i hear people talking about it and actually thinking about the issue... i think its a GOOD thing. At least they arent completely ignoring it and are taking those first tentative steps towards fixing it.

This is a fabulous post! I find myself even though I don't like to admit it, always being harsh to myself and complaing how "fat" I feel if I eat something that I think is bad or consume too much in a day that I'm not used to-- along with skipping the gym or not working out as hard. I've been told constantly by friends or family that I'm not fat and that I should really stop being down of myself, but it's a completely different side of the story when it's you, yourself pin-pointing certain areas on your body that you've noticed that look bigger. I believe that I am like this from time to time because I used to have terrible eating habits, didn't use the gym or have any physical activity besides dance class once a week, and then diagnosed with a thyroid disease so now that I have lost half the weight and have gotten breast reduction surgery a couple of July's ago, I feel that I am more self-concious than I ever was and feel that I have to monitor my eating habits like crazy. Your post definitely reminded me of how I treat myself sometimes, so it was great to hear it from someone on the other side of the story giving good advice to try and overcome the "I'm fat" body bashing.

Loriklorik: Oh, I agree that sometimes a little positive discussion or recognition of something that is bad/detrimental to health is okay. But it's when it escalates to levels of gossip, and that being proud of a half hour becomes scathing criticism of oneself because you only did half an hour instead of your usual hour and a half and so on.

I agree with both you and lorik.

However as the vast majority of eating problems stem from deep seated emotional problems is this not treating the symptom rather than the cause?

I posted about this last week during fat talk free week...it's wonderful!

Original Post by missmagill:

I posted about this last week during fat talk free week...it's wonderful!

yup, I remember, missm (it was the for the fat-talk free week which was the 13-17, right?). It's weird how some threads take off and others don't - a relatively random process. I think it happens to be whether people respond before the thread gets bumped to the second page. Nobody ever goes to the second page. :)

Andie: I don't think this is just about eating disorders - I simply cited mine as something that made me more aware and sensitive to what was actually coming out of my mouth. Rather, it's about self-esteem and body image on a whole, and loving what you've got while being healthy about having it.

Trustwomen: I go to the second page when I want some quiet time. ;P

I loved this video.

I remember when I lived at home last year I was recovering from an eating disorder. My mom always asked me, "Why do you hate yourself? Why do you have such a negative image of yourself?" When i was growing up, she would always talk negatively about herself.

I'm not blaming my eating disorder on her. However, i think parents forget that their children copy their behaviors. Mothers, please remember that you must not only compliement your children, but set a good example and be positive about your own image. :)