When is enough enough with ED?

H i there,

I'm attempting to recover from an ED and IP treatment has been suggested before, but Ive constantly thought (with the support of my family) that I could do it alone. Ive recently moved to be withmy BF's family in the UK, an while they are so incredibly super supportive, my ED thoughts dont want to leave me alone! Ive been eating a lot better (as in 3 square meals and snacks per day) but cant get past the pushing the calories to the next level (am prob getting about 1800 a day) 

I'm 5'6" and weigh about 5s9oz (or 38kgs...) any advice from anyone who has been there would be much appreciated.

Sorry if this sounds repetitive - the want is there, its the stupid mental side that just keeps interfereing.

Shell

You are severely underweight so my first thought is, if you have been trying to do it alone, you haven't been successful. I don't mean that as criticism so much as I mean it is now time for you to take the next step.

Have you asked yourself why you need to "do it alone"? There is no shame in getting help for an eating disorder, and the more help you have the easier it will be for you to recover. Perhaps you don't want to go to IP because you know this, and you know that recovery means weight gain.

If this is your line of thinking, it means your eating disorder is taking control of your life. It also means that you aren't really putting 100% into recovering at home, rather you are staying at home to avoid inpatient and avoid recovery.

If you can't do it alone then you MUST seek outside support, whether you go to hospital, inpatient or outpatient treatment. Your BMI is dangerously low and remaining at such as weight (even if you are eating) is risking your life and your future health.

If you have been ill for some time, it might also be an idea to consider inpatient for the sake of your loved ones. Even if they are very supportive it's so hard and very draining to have someone so ill to worry about every day. Going to inpatient would be doing yourself a favour but would also be a relief for your loved ones. I am sure they care about you a lot and feel very helpless in the current situation.

Finally, eating disorders are such nasty persuasive things that if you are asking yourself "when is enough, enough?" - it was probably "enough" some time ago. Time to make that next step.