Why is everyone on CC so judgemental?

This community is supposed to be for support. Any user should be able to post their deepest darkest fears on here..

I dont feel this way anymore. People are way too quick to pass judgment. When I look through many posts and replys I see ALOT of negative comments, over and over.

People just want help. Not judgement. Advise. Not scorn for the way they are thinking.

Please remember this the next time you reply to someone's post.

We are all in this together.

Amen sista!

~H~

Most of the users of this site are unhappy with some aspect of themselves...they think they're too fat, too thin, not muscular enough, worried they're going to get fat again, fighting an ED, etc. Actually, most of the Western world is unhappy with some aspect of themselves, but we happen to be on a site meant for discussion of this dissatisfaction. I think we end up taking that out on each other- it makes us feel superior.

I know that I can be negative a lot on here...I usually use this site when I'm at work, where I'm often stressed or unhappy, and it comes out in my posts. I'm working on it.

While it may be true that there are some "negative" replies, I think I'd rather have someone call me on my bs than just support an unhealthy way of thinking.  Sometimes tough love is the best love of all.

ive never seen a judgmental comment from you emily?? but i do see some people who do complain when they feel others are judging them but then a few weeks later they are judging someone else themselves. (ps. im not talking about you chelsaw ). i try not to judge but i guess im kinda judgmental about judgmental people. its a little personal paradox. and there are people who just dont know who to say things nicely & think that their opinions are actually facts.

I read back on the post that I'm going to guess brought this out.  While there were definitely some people were negative/sarcastic, a lot of them were in fact offering support and recommendations.  They probably weren't what the OP wanted to hear since there is no quick fix to losing weight, but based on her question, it didn't seem to me like she was saying what she was feeling and in need of support as much as working to lose 25 pounds in an unrealistic deadline. 

In general, I think most of the people on here do try to be supportive and encourage healthy eating and decisions.  I have found posts similar to that one and times when I've been frustrated at how people talk to one another, but I also know that most of the ones I've read in the past 9 months have been positive and helpful.  And yes, sometimes we have bad days and say things the wrong way.  But, I know that when I've had questions or expressed strong emotions, I've felt support and not judged.

Judgment often comes because some threads are started by posters who want others to support an unhealthy idea.

I've also found that a lot of people use the forums instead of their journal. They aren't looking for advice or support, just want to type out their thoughts. I know that some are looking for a discussion, but there are an awful lot of threads that deal with something someone said, etc. 

When it all comes down to it, people are cranky cause they're hungry and are looking for someone to take it out on :P

qmwillcand, your avatar freaks me out.

was that judgmental?

i agree.. a lot of people in the forums need to chill out.

thanks everyone. this stemmed from a post that I read, a woman posted asking about a "quick fix" for losing weight

most of us know that there are no easy solutions- however, people who were posting were being quiet brutal in their response.

i think we just have to remember that although alot of us know and understand what it takes to lose some weight/get healthy- there are a TON of people (especially now after new years) that have just joined and are clueless.

i feel sometimes like those people get negatively attacked on these forums.

these people dont know how to best articulate what they are asking, and we all need to remember: this is a community, its like a family. even if a poster is asking you to support an unhealthy idea, remember how you respond-or phrase your response- can really impact someones life.

we are all real people on here, and i think sometimes users forget that.

there is a person behind each name and avatar and they might need help.

before i write anything on here now, i promise to think about how im saying it and spin everything positively.

Original Post by octo-luv:

ive never seen a judgmental comment from you emily??

Meh, maybe not judgmental...maybe bitchy would be the more appropriate term. At least I'm holding back my urge to correct everyone's spelling and grammar though...I'm the judgmental kind of person who thinks someone is not very smart if they can't figure out your/you're.

I think it's really easy to be a lot more cruel on an online forum than you would be in real life. I have said things on here that I would never say to someone's face.

... am I the only one seeing the irony of someone being judgemental about other people's judgemental postings?

And then the additional irony of this post?

We're going deep down the rabbit hole of meta-irony now...

It's simple we're just b***hy because we're dieting. LMAO. :P

;)

funny YOU s.deadlyrose!!! hee hee sooooooo true-so true.

Original Post by hatamoto:

... am I the only one seeing the irony of someone being judgemental about other people's judgemental postings?

And then the additional irony of this post?

We're going deep down the rabbit hole of meta-irony now...

Haha, true. I think that much of the time people post because they actually are seeking some sort of "judgment" on their behavior, plans, thoughts, ideas, and are grateful for it. I think this thread is using the term "judgmental" as a stand in for "harsh" or "mean," or whatever you call it when someone thinks their personal opinion is universal truth.

As much as I enjoy all things meta...

EDIT: added smiley to help make post look as friendly as I intended it...

I've found that support is very easily found here.

Enabling, not so much.  Enabling is NOT support.

Original Post by pgeorgian:

qmwillcand, your avatar freaks me out.

was that judgmental?

 QMG I agree... about your avatar I mean,  That was totally awesome.  How did you get the lips like that??

And you corduroyfirekills3,  I always laugh when I see your screen name.  My stupid boss wears wide wale corduroy almost everyday, and it is the joke around our office that you can always hear him coming!!  One of these days I won't be surprised if he just ignites!

AMEN! I TOATALLY AGREE!

thankyou

i dont want my topic blocked when i am so scared that i am going insane and need some comfort and advice.

I agree! I once posted a simple topic and all these people starting posting all these negative comments and I was like whoa.