What exactly do you consider Cheating????

thoughts for another?

holding hands?

kissing?

making out?

or just plain sex?

seems alot of people have a different opinion. Please also state if you are a woman or man.

I'm a girl, been engaged for over  a year now, to me cheating would be anything including and above kissing...

touching is cheating and sometimes thinking/talking about it... its circumstantial I guess, but the moment you ... step away from "friends" and go toward "romantic" or "sexual," that is cheating.

i consider any kind of physical contact cheating. i could see how someone would consider "thoughts for another" cheating though. if you were to find out that your significant other was thinking sexual or romantic thoughts toward someone else it would probably make you feel as though you've been cheated on. i'm a female.

All of the above.  Female.

So touching another male would be cheating? because i do that a lot, I'm a friendly person, but I don't mean more than friendship from it...

Old guy here.. so not sure if my opinion is going to count for much in a room full of young women.. ;)... but...

A common argument is that if there is no sex, there's no cheating.

However, relationships are both emotional and physical.  Alienation of affection was an oft used phrase in divorce courts in regards to "home wreckers" that got in between a (presumed) happily married couple. That means that it's generally been recognized that for a relationship to be whole, there has to be an emotional connection, as well as a physical one. 

If someone transfers their affections from one person to another without leaving the original relationship than they are cheating even if they don't have sex with the other person.

Of course, if it gets to the level of physical activity... that's definitely over the line no matter how you look at it. (Unless, of course, you're Bill Clinton...)

It mostly comes down to respect for the person you're with. If there's respect then there won't be the need to try to define what counts as cheating and what doesn't.

Good lord, if thoughts count, then we're all in trouble at some point.

It's actions that count. All of the actions listed in the OP have romantic intent (except if you happen to be holding someone's hand while they grieve their dead parent or something, obviously) and would therefore be crossing that line. Happening to touch someone casually during a conversation, as you do with all your friends, would not be crossing it. Ditto piling into a car and having to sit on someone's lap, hugging a friend, whatever. If you would do it with any of your friends, then it isn't cheating.

As for the emotional stuff - that's trickier. Starting a clearly romantic relationship with someone (even if you aren't physical), sure, that would be cheating-  but getting emotionally close to someone else is a grey zone. I'd have to say that it would be case-by-case.

And, of course, there are gradients of cheating - obviously kissing a stranger one time when you're drunk (for example) isn't as bad as having a longstanding sexual affair with someone you've fallen in love with. It's not like "in for a penny, in for a pound" and just because you're holding someone's hand you might as well go all the way.

(I'm a woman).

Ditto what Trust wrote.

And I'm a lady (whoa whoa whoa I'm a lady)

If you are hiding from your real life romantic partner whatever it is you have been doing with another person, whether that is physical or virtual (i.e. computer hook ups), then you are probably "cheating".

I'm female...

I'm a woman and I think it'd be different for me depending on who I was with. I know that my guy is a very faithful person, so if he so much as thought of someone else in that way, that'd mean he wouldn't be interested in me anymore.. He can't be intimate at all to anyone without being in love.

I kiss all my friends and family on the lips to show affection, but the only one I've got romantic feelings for is my husband-to-be.

I agree with catmurray.  There are a lot of things that can be construed as cheating, but a pretty good benchmark is whether or not you would do it in front of your significant other. 

As for the thoughts part... that's tricky.  I don't think having thoughts about another person is cheating.  If you are having those thoughts all the time, then there's probably a problem.  But I don't think it's "cheating" per se.

I'm female.

yeah i agree! 

Cheating is full blown anal and nothing else.

no!.... that's just gay...

Original Post by catmurray:

If you are hiding from your real life romantic partner whatever it is you have been doing with another person, whether that is physical or virtual (i.e. computer hook ups), then you are probably "cheating".

I'm female...

Agree, if you have something to feel guilty about and your significant other would mind, then that's cheating. I've held hands and hugged guy friends, even given them little kisses (no tongue .. and I'm female). At this moment I wouldn't feel comfortable with more than a hug because any more and I know my Hubby probably wouldn't be very happy.

When I first opened this thread I thought it was about cheating on your daily number of calories! 

Hmmm, cheating in a relationship.....I would have to say when you get to the point where you are sharing deep emotions with another, then you are probably cheating.  You should be sharing those feelings with your partner.

As far as the physical, anything other than a friendly hug and peck on the cheek...you are probably cheating.

Im female.

What about going to a lap dancing or strip club, is that cheating?  I don't personally think so, but I know people who would consider themselves cheated on if their partner did this.

(I'm female)

Not cheating to be looking....and besides, many women go to strip clubs with their men...heats things up later in the evening.

Original Post by cats-eyes:

What about going to a lap dancing or strip club, is that cheating?  I don't personally think so, but I know people who would consider themselves cheated on if their partner did this.

(I'm female)

 

Me and my hubs are pretty strict on what we consider to be cheating, and this we do not count, including him (he's a bit stricter than I am in considering what's cheating and what isn't). How do I know? He bought me a lapdance to get me riled up for later that evening. =P

Though we're  both really noit all that into strip-clubs.

I'd say it's cheating if your S.O. thinks it is. 

For some with very open relationships, it could be just not telling him/her that you are having sex with someone else - for others even looking at Playboy could be cheating. 

For my wife and I - it's mostly about keeping anything secret.  Not that either of us has been with anyone else in way too many years of marriage - but we both know that it's natural to look at a pretty (or handsome) person.

(I'm male)