An exhausted Mom has a question! please answer if you can!

o.k. I don't know if this is a stupid question but here goes,just a lil bit of info of why I'm asking.

my 16 month old daughter has Asthma and Bronchitis so she is very sick/clingy so we are awake a lot.I sleep when she is sleeping which is here and there throughout the day and night.I have a back problem and because of exhaustion I'm in severe pain on some days so no regular exercise.I am basically eating whatever I can grab between caring for her and my two older children and my home.

anyway my question is in order to keep a calorie deficit can I do that like on a weekly thing,instead of daily?example: say I need to eat 11,900 calories(per week) in order to maintain my weight but I only eat 8400 for the week would that still count as a 500 calorie per day deficit even if they are not on a daily basis? I hope this makes sence I'm not sleeping well either so my days are all kind of blending in to one another,I ate 300 calories @ Midnight and so I realized I'm WAY off schedule and need to know if this will work for the time being?! I am not really worrying about losing too much for right now just want to keep it at least low enough as to not gain! THANK YOU TO ANYONE WHO HAS AN ANSWER FOR ME!

It's best to stick to a reasonably stready 'window' of calorie intake if you can.  Otherwise you can get some unfortunate results by eating far too little on some days and far too much on others.  If your schedule is very taxing you're probably using more energy than someone of a similar age/size who is getting a full night's sleep and is less active.   If I were you, I would focus more on getting as good a diet as you can.... vegetables, fruit, wholegrains, lean meat/fish etc rather than sugary/salty snacks etc .... and eating enough to keep you going rather than cutting calories at this stage.  When you're exhausted through lack of sleep and pain the nutrition you're getting (supplemented by a multivitamin in your case) is vital to maintain your health.  If you deprive yourself of energy you risk feeling 10 x worse and seeing no real weight-loss either.

When your poor daughter is more settled and feeling better that's probably the time to re-address weight-loss.

While I have not experienced having a sick child, I am a mom of four so I have some idea what you are going through.

A deficit is created when you burn more energy than you are taking in. This can be averaged on a weekly basis.

That being said, you need to use the CC tool to figure out how much you burn on an average day. Then use a spreadsheet... or just a pen and paper with a calculator if you don't have anything else... to average the calories in v/s calories spent.

Keeping in mind that you burn a certain amount by just existing... If you are just wanting to maintain; your energy in, should equal your energy out. IE: if the burn calculator says you burn an average of 1800 calories per day, then you should eat no more than that on average. To create the deficit, you would need to eat on average, less than the burn average.

I track mine on an Excel sheet. So I always have on hand, what my daily, weekly, and monthly averages are. I would be happy to email you a sample, feel free to send me a private message and just ask!

ALSO, you may want to check out the CC Analysis tool, to make sure you are getting enough protein. At the top it tells you your Fats, Proteins, and Carbs Percentages... On average (in my humble opinion) you should be in the 40% protein/30% Fats/30% Carbs ratios.... Proteins having 4 calories per gram, Fats having 9 calories per gram, and Carbs having 4 calories per gram (same as protein).

Sleep and Diet are equally important. So if one is compromised, you must be sure to emphasize the other. Take care of yourself as much as possible during this time. I agree with gi-jane, you really need to eat healthy, and make sure you are keeping your energy up.

Take care, and have a Healthgain Day!
~Julie 

l understand what you are going through, as l myself have small children including a 16month old and a sick child plus l work outside the home too. Like gijane said, just take this time to take care of yourself instead of trying to lose weight, as you are already under so much stress.

What l do is just not buy any junk food, no candies, no salty snacks no nothing. l stock up on fruit and vegetables, no, fruit flavored chewy things are not real fruits.

This way you don't have to have to worry about what you eat, and even the sick baby's health will benefit from healthy snacks. Banish white flour anything from your pantry, and slowly replace the processed food snacks with healthy whole grain, alternatives. And on days when the weather is not so bad you can cover the baby up very well and go for a walk, l know you are tired but a brisk walk is invigorating you will feel the difference.

Have you been assessed for post partum depression?, your baby will thankyou for it. 

Goodluck.

I am o.k. with my food choices,I just don't have normal hours I've been going from midnight to midnight.I ate dinner at midnight last night and then went to sleep at 3 a.m. then get up at 5:30 to get the kids off for school then back to get some sleep.then now I'll be up until who knows when! the baby seems to get sick at night so she is crying a lot when it is time for bed,ugh! I just was wandering since I am not on a regular schedule right now will my weird hours affect my weight?

I am right there with you.  Everything revolves around my 17 month olds schedule and my 4 year old.  I have switched from an every day workout schedule to a 3 or 4 day workout.  I try not to get down about not getting to workout everyday since I really like doing this.  The kids will grow and not always be sick and I will get back to a schedule I enjoy.  I think looking at your calories weekly and counting chasing kids around the house as exercise should let you maintain.  This too shall pass.  My 4 year old has asthma as do I and we go through good boughts and bad boughts.  I have a humidifier in all the bedrooms.  This has made a big difference. 

Original Post by jegvlf3:

I am right there with you.  Everything revolves around my 17 month olds schedule and my 4 year old.  I have switched from an every day workout schedule to a 3 or 4 day workout.  I try not to get down about not getting to workout everyday since I really like doing this.  The kids will grow and not always be sick and I will get back to a schedule I enjoy.  I think looking at your calories weekly and counting chasing kids around the house as exercise should let you maintain.  This too shall pass.  My 4 year old has asthma as do I and we go through good boughts and bad boughts.  I have a humidifier in all the bedrooms.  This has made a big difference. 

Thank you for the tip I will try the humidifier! Asthma is a very scary problem to deal with and it disturbs our lives for short periods of time throughout the year!

It's always best to keep a calorie deficit on a weekly basis, so you even have a chance.  Are you calculating  your BMR into this?  Don't give up; it's hard, but you'll make your goals.

And I don't know how you handle this, and it's none of my business, but I'll tell you the really good advice my grandma gave me:  Don't ever let your children sleep with you in your bed.  If they need you, sleep with them in their room.  Once they get into your bed, you'll never get them out.  I was skeptical of this at first, but when I was at college, I met a girl who started sleeping with her parents as an infant, and stayed there until she was 19.  I hope your baby feels better.

I can tell you that there are few things as exhausting as caring for a sick infant and I've only done it for a few days at a time.  I'd plan to eat around maintenance level and forget trying to lose weight until you're less exhausted.  Sleep deprivation does play a role in weight loss and you'll probably sleep better once you're not feeling too low on calories.  You could get a heart rate monitor and wear it 24x7 for a while to see how much you actually burn.  Between the lack of sleep and the child care it's probably a lot more than you expect.

your little one is the same age my son was when he was diagnosed.   Has she been tested for RSV   if not it might be worth looking into.   A lot of doctors over look it because the baby may not have been at risk for it.  My son was carried to term and healthy until he was about a year old, thats when he would wake up in the middle of the night and couldn't breath.  The highest fever he ran was just under 106 degrees.  because he struggled to breath that caused his high fever.  A humidifier if very good also.  We found that mold of any sort set him off, and house hold chemicals and other things with bad smells.    I know how you feel I would sleep with him every night just to make sure he was breathing.   Even when you do sleep your not really because your listening for an exhale.   

  Does she have an ear infection?  my guy did,it was  on and off for three years.  i had vhim scheduled for tubes but a bout a week before I took him to a different doc got a diff. antibiotic and the ear infection hasn't come back since.   That was 10 years ago.  best of luck  with your baby dont worry to much or you'll get sick. 

thank you all so much for the replies I feel much better now!

dizzytoday RSV is how it all began for her! she was hospitalized with RSV at 3 months and then it went straight to Asthma.her ears are fine but is on an antibiotic for the Bronchitis,it is very stressful!I'm glad I got good feed back I do feel better!!

My son was sick from the time I brought him home from the hospital and all the doctors said was he had a cold so antibiotic after antibiotic it didn't get better. Then he came up with pneumonia that's when they checked for RSV.  Some doctors are so stupid. Poor baby couldn't take a step without gasping for air so he went to the hospital.  That is the scariest times.   Bronchitis is very scary. What meds is she on.  Albuteral prob prednisone no doubt,  what antibiotic?

My sons immune system was so bad that kid caught everything ( hoof and mouth,  fifth disease  weird rashes,hives )   it was due to the steroid he was on, it damaged his immune system.  now as a result of super high fevers and constant med some of his back molars are damaged and decaying as they're growing in.   I tell it's one thing after another once your a mom nothing is easy.   I hope your baby gets better soon ,oh yah and don't worry about your weight while she's this sick it wont even do you any good.       Take care.

You have a tough situation right now.  I'd like to offer three comments.

Please don't worry about having your baby sleeping with you. There is no harm in it, and in many cultures (Japan for one) it is customary for babies to sleep with their mother for several years. The US is kind of nutty about this.

You probably shouldn't try to "diet", but it would be a good idea to try to eat healthy foods as much as possible.  That will keep your calorie intake down and give you a more steady flow of energy.

Doing some exercise at home is great if you can find the time and energy. Light stretching can really make you feel better, and is not too demanding.

Good luck. I hope things get easier for you.

Original Post by dizzytoday:

My son was sick from the time I brought him home from the hospital and all the doctors said was he had a cold so antibiotic after antibiotic it didn't get better. Then he came up with pneumonia that's when they checked for RSV.  Some doctors are so stupid. Poor baby couldn't take a step without gasping for air so he went to the hospital.  That is the scariest times.   Bronchitis is very scary. What meds is she on.  Albuteral prob prednisone no doubt,  what antibiotic?

My sons immune system was so bad that kid caught everything ( hoof and mouth,  fifth disease  weird rashes,hives )   it was due to the steroid he was on, it damaged his immune system.  now as a result of super high fevers and constant med some of his back molars are damaged and decaying as they're growing in.   I tell it's one thing after another once your a mom nothing is easy.   I hope your baby gets better soon ,oh yah and don't worry about your weight while she's this sick it wont even do you any good.       Take care.

 

oh my where do I start on the meds,lol! she has Albuterol (nebulizer) Pulmicourt (neb also) this is supposed to be a preventative one and the Antibiotic is Azithromycin she only has to take it for 5 days and then the steroid she is on the Dr says its not good to take for a long time so she is only to take it for 2 days and that is Millipred.

That really sucks about your son! I have two older kids and they both had RSV so I saw the signs right away and took her to the Dr. on a Thur and the Dr said it was just a cold let it takeit's course I told him I thought it was RSV and mentioned about my boys he said I was just being paranoid but the Sat following she could not breath so I rushed her to the E.R. and sure enough it was RSV.alo when she first started showing signs of Asthma I told the Dr. she had a cough to where she would turn blue and sort of stop breathing but tested her for whooping cough and then finally realized it was Asthma.some Dr's do suck!

I am sorry about your lil ones teeth! Teeth pain is horrible I hope he is not in any pain from it how old is he? I'm glad you shared your experience with me!Thank

He's eleven now and hasn't had a breathing eppisode in almost four years. The doctors say thats because they have done a "wonderful "job of preventing an attack.  I say he's grown out of it so I pushed for him to see a pulmanologist and we'll have to wait and see what they say. 

He's taken every one of those meds at one point or another and some of them are so dangerous but they often do need them.   There is no other feeling like feeling helpless when you realize your kid is having trouble breathing  it's awful.  I couldn't imagine having three children with the same illness I would be in a constant fit of anxiety lol

He had to have some baby teeth pulled because they got abscessed but the funny thing about that was they weren't even decayed.  The dentist said the roots just gave in.  HMMM very strange. Some of his adult teeth are literally crumbling as the appear they said it's because of the high fevers and constant use of antibiotics.

I never heard of RSV until he was in the hospital on a breathing machine.   He's one of the reasons I started studying medicine.  If a doctor bs's me I now know better.    How old are your kids mine are 17, 11,5  .      and your welcome I was so lonely when I was the one not knowing what to do to make him better and no one really understood.  SOOOO many sleepless nights .  I hope all your kids outgrow the asthma.

My mother in law told me he was fine that it was all made up by doctors I felt like suffocating her to see what she thought then.  My son would be there with his machine and she'd be smoking and talking to him.  We stopped going over there because they didn't believe any of it was real. 

You take care.  let me know how she is

dizzytoday,my kids are 13,11 and 16 months.they older two do not have problems unless they run outside when it is very hot.she is actually the one who was the sickest from this.My mom would smoke around the older ones but is very respectful toward not smoking around my lil girl.I don't agree with Dr.'s a lot of times because I know they are "practicing" medicine so they don't exactly know 100% for sure what they say is true so I try to read up on what they tell me.

That is real crazy about your sons teeth,what are they doing for his teeth? like is there some way to avoid further problems? I am scared of Medicine because some of the side effects are more dangerous than some of the symptoms that you are having.my husband gets a kick out of the commercials for meds that say may cause DEATH! he thinks it is such a ridiculous risk to take!but in many cases they are needed and it is just a matter of weighing the risks with the benefits always are scary situation to be in.I really am glad you shared your experience because it is nice to find someone who has been through what I am going through it lets me realize this too shall pas,lol!