I was asked an eye-opening question at work tonight.

This may not seem like quite a huge deal, or it may. I don't really know what others will think of this. I am a large girl, I'm 17 and I weigh 257 pds. Tonight at work I was dealing with a crazy customer who happened to ask me if I was pregnant. I've NEVER been asked this before, and it hit me really hard. And I just feel horrible. I've noticed lately that I was gaining weight and I've wanted to lose some weight to feel healthy again. But this has hurt me so much, that I think finally I'll be able to lose the weight.

I just keep asking myself though, am I really that big? How many people have wondered this but never asked?
I just don't understand why a  person has to ask someone if their pregnant, when they are unsure. You never know who you could be hurting. This made my night at work really rough. And I'm really upset.

First I want to say that you (only you) can turn this into a postive thing. It may very well be the motivation you need to lose the weight!

That customer was a complete idiot to ask you if you are pregnant.  We can never assume somebody is pregnant unless we see them actually giving birth.

It was exactly that question that got me to lose the weight.  My boss pulled me aside and politely asked if I was pregnant.  At that point we'd known each other for over 3 years.  I realized then that it was obvious I'd been gaining weight.   Of course, I already knew, but now I knew that other people noticed, too.  I didn't have as much weight to lose as you do, but I still lost close to 30 lbs. and I've kept it off!

If I was you, I had asked them back if they where pregnant...Some people are just rude!  But like marmarl said turn this around and go for it, I use to be 236 and now am 173...If I could do it so can you ...I was always fat and happy but sickness came and made me loose weight ...so dont wait to get sick and then you really have to loose the weight..do it gradually and always reward yourself but not with food but buying something new or a manicure...I know you can do it ..GOOD LUCK!

I think the 'are you pregnant?' or 'when's it due?' gaffe happens quite a lot to bigger women.  Pregnancy is probably the one time when it's socially acceptable to make remarks about body-shape - even to a perfect stranger.  If you are visibly pregnant it's quite nice for people to offer you a seat on the bus, ask how you are or point out that  "you're blooming".  I had the opposite problem when I was pregnant.  People thought I'd just put on a lot of weight so they didn't say anything in an effort to be polite!!  It was quite a let-down, to be honest.

Yes, other people will have noticed you're overweight but don't let it bother you.  Lose weight for your own reasons... health, well-being, appearance.... and then the comments you'll get will be .... "Wow! Have you lost weight! You look amazing!"

Yeah I want to lose weight for good reasons. I just think this is what I needed to get me pushed into the habit of eating healthier and exercising. It just was painful. I never really thought I was THAT big. I really just need to stop being unhealthy and feel a lot better.

There are some really mean people in this world.  What did this person thing she was accomplishing?  What was her goal?  Whatever he intentions where they were wrong and it was very hurtful.  When I was 226 for many many years I used to hear sayings like that as well.  It was hurtful and I couldn't understand why people would be so mean.  One day I took it upon myself to want to lose weight not because of the comments but because I wanted to and actually needed to just so that I could be in better health.  It was hard but nothing in life is easy.  I went from 226-140 and kept it off for 4 years until I had my last son and now I am 157 and trying to get back down to 140.  People tell us not to listen to those kinds of sayings and just to let it brush off but its not that easy.  We know we have to lose weight but when someone else confirms it, it just makes it worse.

Don't worry her words can only make u stronger and motivate you.  Just make sure you do it for yourself and no one else. 

Don't decide to lose weight simply because of a comment made by someone. Lose weight (if you even need to), if and when you want to. If losing weight will provide you with health benefits and will make you feel healthier, then by all means.

p.s. I think you are beautiful just the way you are.

Ah the famous "Are you pregnant?" question. Something similar happened to me, but not to my face. The church my family USE to go to was having a special event, I was unable to make it but my mother went one of the guys who she grew up with and was a member of the church came to her one day he was with his wife and son who I went to school with. He and his family were talking to my mother and he all just comes out and asked her "(my mom's name) I don't know who started the rumor...but there's a rumor going around...Is (my name here) pregnant?) My mom told him, "No." and that was that. The guy's wife did say she thought I looked really nice though. Of course, my mother was stupid enough to repeat it to me and not even think about it.

What hurt me the most was I went through an ED a few years back that almost killed me...The members of that church including that guy saw me when I was pretty thin (80 some pounds and under.) And he had the nerve to ask my mother this question. That comment was very triggering for me. I had gained a lot of weight due to emotional binging and they saw me with the weight gain...but it still hurt. I wanted to starve myself after that comment, but I didn't let that guys stupid ignorant comment get to me. Honestly, this guy's family was fighting with mine so he might have just asked that question in spite..but it was still rude and as far as a *rumor* going around he probably damned started it. I'm sorry, but if I'm pregnant I'll announce it myself, if I don't then it's none of your damn business. Haha.

Point of the matter is, if you are happy with yourself and feel you don't need to change then, don't. That is entirely up to you what you want to do with your life. Don't let any ignorant a**hole get you down. However, if you are not happy with yourself then there is plenty of advice on this site to take those adiquant steps into safe weight loss.

Some people just are ill mannered and do not deserve the power of letting you down. If they've done it to you more then likely they've done the same thing or something similar to someone else and don't think anything of it because as I said they are ignorant. Just ignore the a**holes and do what you want for YOU. Good luck. *hugz. :)

^ AMEN to you silentdeadlyrose!! You go girl! :)

sorry you had to go through that i have been through it twice . I weighed about 180 pounds but i was a very typical apple shape then with a larger belly and thinner legs. The first time it happened was with someone i had not seen for years who gave me a hug in front of my new boyfriend and a couple of my friends and said "looks like someone has a bun in the oven". I was mortified and everyone pretended not to hear and the guy was embarrassed but still! The second time was when i started a new job and my boss weighed a good 300 pounds or more. He took me to one side and asked me and looked shocked when i said no. This though was not enough to spur me on but 6 years later i decided after seeing a picture where i was sat next to a large friend that i looked the same size or bigger. Since then i have dropped over 50 pounds and now weigh 128 pounds at 5ft 7 which puts me in a size 4-6 and luckily the apple shape has disappeared since then lol. I looked at your pics and you look gorgeous don't let what other people say destroy your self confidence because if you do it doesn't matter how much weight you drop you never feel good enough which is what happened to me but i am back on track now and feeling better than ever.

As GI Jane pointed out, this happens to more people than you'd imagine. People have assumed I'm pregnant on three occasions that I remember vividly:  a barista at Starbucks, some salesman at a store at the mall, and once, worst of all, a man at a work event. Each time was mortifying and I did cry. But  here's the thing: I'm pretty thin (5'4 and 120 lbs). It's down to my body type -- I am short-waisted and top-heavy and unless I remember to stand up straight my stomach sticks out. This can be made worse if I choose a less-than-flattering outfit that doesn't nip in at the waist.

 I was surprised to learn from some of my thin friends that this has happened to them too! Sometimes it really has to do with how you're standing and/or what you're wearing. It's traumatizing at the time, don't get me wrong, but if you  think about how common (and awwwkward!!) it is, perhaps you can take it with a grain of salt.

Don't let it get you down! :)

Awww, silentdeadly :( -good thing you're a strong enough person to not let it bother you.

Something similar happened to one of my friends actually. There's a bar that we always went to (it shut down recently) because a bunch of bands would play there. When we first started frequenting the bar my friend had an ED and was so so SO thin. We went so often that we would talk to the bar tender so he knew who we were.
We went back after a while of not going, and at this point my friend had gone through some outpatient care and was putting much needed weight on. She was a completely normal size and looked really good. The bar tender had the audacity to ask her if she was pregnant! I was standing right there, I think my mouth hit the floor. She walked away, upset obviously.
After talking to the guy, he said the only reason he thought so was because she was so tiny before, not that she was big now. Guys can be stupid...

One time my co-worker "jokingly" asked if I was pregnant because of the shirt I had on. She said it looked like maternity wear...thankssssssssssss. So I do think certain shirts give of a prego vibe.

People REALLY shouldn't ask a question like that to anyone unless they know for sure. .

A girl in my high school asked me that, just being a straight up witch and trying to hurt my feelings. Well guess what, it did. Shocker, right? I still think about it now, and it kind of stings.  I was so not anywhere near overweight, either, probably 125 lbs at 5'6.

And then that girl got pregnant when she was 16. I will always cherish the day I got to go up to her and say "Wow, are you pregnant?" right back. Of course, it meant nothing to her, but it felt good.

I think what that person said to you was rude and unessacary. Sometimes it takes something like that to kick you in the butt hard enough to do something good for yourself.

If anything, use this as an oppertunity to remember that sometimes things that you say with no thought can be extremely hurtful. Next time you see someone who's lost or gained a ton of weight, instead of immeadiately commenting on that, say something like "wow, nice shoes!" or "You're hair looks super hot!"

You'll spare everyone the agony you had to go through.

Thank you to everyone. Reading all of these has made me feel a lot better. I've been upset on and off all day, and I just can't get it out of my head. But I ate a lot healthier today! And I really do think I have the kick to get into a healthy lifestyle right now.

I'm going to need help along the way of course, so I'm definitely continuing with this site. I'm sorry that you guys have also dealt with this stupid comment. People really cannot think before they speak and it is just plain rude. It hurts really bad.

Once again, thank you for making me feel better. :)

I have a BMI that's on the low end of normal, and I've been asked if I'm pregnant because my stomach sticks out a little bit. So it doesn't mean people think you're fat, just that they're all idiots! I stick by the general rule of not asking if someone's pregnant unless I can see a baby head on its way out!

I defintely empathasize with you! That has been my worst nightmare of a question! I am about the same weight as you, and I am small, only 5'4". Because of health problems, my weight is mostly in my stomach, and I'm just waiting for someone to ask me. I've lost a significant amount of weight lately, and I hope it keeps on truckin...but I know what that feeling is like.

I'm sorry that ignorant people are out there. Maybe they didn't realize what they were saying, or maybe they just didn't think. But, if you want to make changes for yourself, do so. BUT PLEASE don't let what one person says change how you feel about yourself. When I was 17 I didn't even weigh 100 lbs. I got sick and have grown to 265 at the most. I tried to never let my weight, or what anyone else thought they were lookin' at, change my spirit.

If you're a happy girl, be happy now and everyday! Your weight doesn't change your heart, and everyday is yours for the taking. I always thought it would be so sad to "wait" until I lost my weight to feel happy/satisfied, so much time would pass me by! Live every day fully, and love yourself! When you get there, you get there...but remember this -- you are no different on the inside, and you have one life to live...love every part of you--then your own happiness will keep you taking good care of yourself!

First of all, you don't look like you weigh 257 lbs.  I would have never thought that.  Secondly, I am so sorry for the insensitivity you received last night at work.

I had moved into an apartment several years ago and I met my obviously obese next-door neighbor.  She also had a set of twins that were pre-teen and well on their way to becoming obese too.   Four months later she came over and asked me if I wanted to see her "new" baby.  Of course I smiled and said "sure."  At this point I thought she might be talking about a puppy or kitten.   As it turned out she had just given birth to a new baby girl!  I had no idea that she had been pregnant at all!!  Needless to say, I was flabbergasted.  I hope I covered my shock with the appropriate words a new mother expected to hear about her new little bundle of joy.  About a week later I saw her walk out to her car and realized that she looked the same as she did before she gave birth!  I guess people will make the assumption that a pregnant woman is just fat as well as an overweight  woman is pregnant!  Either way, the tactless comments could, or in your case did, inflict much pain.  I try hard to keep my comments to myself.  I hope this will be a motivator to you to lose weight if you chose to, but not because of some off-handed remark or question for the uninformed.  My wake-up call was a hideous picture that I saw of me when I weighed 190 lbs.  It's in my gallery.  Shame on me for letting myself go.  However, whoohoo! because I have lost 32.4 lbs and am still losing because of it.   Have a great day.  I want you to succeed!  ~Tonnie