Facebook Hatred and How to overcome it...help!

Yes - obviously the best way to overcome the self-hate and loathing of looking at pictures of yourself,  and skinnier others, is to simply get rid of social networking sites. At 25 this is easier said then done for me, at this point everyone in my life has profiles and uses either facebook or myspace for planning events and plain old catching up. Its a pretty bad feeling to be the 'fat' bridesmaid in your best friend's wedding album. UGH.

I've tried to just untag myself in every picture, but they continue to be put up and I continue to feel terrible about myself. I'm now at a point where I step out of pictures with my friends or just simply dred the camera snap. 

I think that for me the biggest problem is the problem I have with myself. I also think this might be one of my biggest problems with weight loss since I am definately an emotional eater.

Anyone else have a similar experience with social networks or any advice?

Maybe you'll hate this, but throught the years I have had to learn to Laugh at myself. Until the age of ...19+ I looked like a little boy with a big butt. My mouth full of teeth and I ALWAYS had it open in pictures. My mom would slick my hair back on my head (no bangs) and I have a forhead like a horse, it went well with my horse teeth! ha ha my legs looked like a tree trunk (ok they still do hee hee ) so anyway my point is that no matter what age I was, a picture was being taken and it seemed everyone who saw it would laugh their heads off. So I decided to laugh right along side them...you know pretty soon they stoped laughing at me and I was the one pointing funny things out and we laughed together at each other.  I know how sensitve we can be and that's ok its Perfectly normal but dont take your self out of snap shots, they are something you can look back on and remember all our friends, big and small. if you feel the need stand behind a friend and make a silly face do it, but just have fun with your self...we only live once and no we can not all look like Jennifer Anison or Angela Joilie. We are who we are!!!! Beauty is in both inside and out and it can be someone any size and shape. Just keep smiling if you dont win them over you'll at least Confuse the heck out of them :-) Stay strong!

hope I helped...

I came *this* close to quitting Facebook over this very issue, despite enjoying all of the other fun parts! I was totally freaking out, checking constantly to make sure I could untag all of the pics before anyone could see any - -and yes, the ugly fat bridesmaid pic is what really put me over the edge! Nothing like fear of having guys you used to date - -100 pounds ago! - see you now! Funny how none of the those better old pics ever seem to pop up...!

But, I did figure out how to see the tagged pics (visible ONLY to me on my own profile), but not have them out to your won profile on your own site/draw any of your friends' attention to them. (And have tested this with my sister and other friends' accounts to make sure a few times!)

Settings-->Privacy-->Profile-->"Phot os Tagged of You"

Now change the drop down in :Photos Tagged of You" to "custom", and then right below that you'll see  "Edit Custom Settings"; choose the "Only Me" option.

Now, technically the pics still stay in your friends' album, but at least it doesn't alert your entire friend network of their existence and draw attention. Mutual friends who bother to go thru the entire album will still see them, but again, not everyone on your own network - much better damage control!

Just think, soon enough after you get closer to goal and feel better about yourself, you'll be jumping in the middle of every pic and undoing the strict privacy setting:)

I know exactly how you feel.  I positively HATE seeing photos of myself and know I have a much better self esteem when I don’t have to look at them.

I talked to my friends and let them know I want to be able to approve any photos posted of me and not to feel bad if I ask them to take them down or is I untag myselg.  I also ensure all my photos are set to be private as well.

And beginning this year I no longer allow photos to be taken of myself.  I have had a few friends get pissy with me about it, but I basically told them that it’s MY choice and they need to get over it.

I allowed a couple to be taken when I was visiting friends out of town on vacation (and I would if I were in a wedding, for example) but other than that, nothing is allowed.

It’s worked for me so far.

Here’s hoping when I reach my goal weight next year I’ll be able to stand looking at pics of me again. 

Thanks - I changed my privacy settings and I feel better now. I have just been letting my weight really get to me lately and it is hard to break out of it. I think I am having a quarter life crisis if such a thing exists...LOL

Oh, quarter life crisis do exist - particularly with the added stress of law school!

You will still see the pics show up in "View pics of me" on your profile page, but don't freak out when you see them there -- only you can view them.

I also changed my privacy settings to what makphl suggested after I joined facebook and my boss and a bunch of work people added me. Not for the same reasons but more because it made me feel kind of odd (almost invaded) that work people who I'm not close with on a personal level could see so much about my life. But I couldn't really NOT accept my boss as a friend.

Anyway, it's helped me to feel a lot more comfortable not letting them see the tagged photos, or my status updates, and other stuff I can control with the privacy settings.

Thank goodness for privacy settings like everyone said!  You can limit EVERYTHING!

i do not have a magic cure, dislike some pics too. thanks for the info on the settings!

I understand how you feel....I am not photogenic at all and so I'm self conscious of most pictures that people take.  That's why I love digital cameras...you can delete and retake so easily.  Anyways you are beautiful the way you are.  I have a myspace and facebook account as well so that I can keep in contact with friends I don't see very often etc. etc. but I have become to hate those sites as well because I feel like it is a contest as to who has the most beautiful, sexy pictures, which is very shallow.  I set both my profiles to private also for this reason.  I am so glad that I have found this site though because it is actually a productive site with supportive people, not just here to check you out....but here to make their lives better and help others.  Don't worry about what other people think.  I know it is easier said than done, I always worry too but as someone else here said beauty is inside out.  I've met a lot of very physically beautiful people that were so terrible inside that they no longer appear pretty.....so let your true beauty shine through ;)

I totally know what you mean.  If I had a penny for every time I wished I could delete (permanently..from the earth, not just facebook) a picture someone else uploaded.  My friends are always picture-happy.  Always.  And every single one of them is smaller than me--they're just petite.  I know that after I reach my goal weight I'll still be the biggest one in the pictures.  When I first started trying to lose weight I looked at pictures as motivation.  It's not like my mantra became "I hate myself because I'm not skinny"--it was more something like "So, this outside does not match the person I know I am on the inside.  Let's fix that."

I feel like I just rambled, but hopefully it was helpful!

Ramble on - I like the mantra!

I hated seeing photos of myself on facebook, too.  But it actually became the motivation I needed to lose weight.  I didn't want to be the fat one in the photos.  Occasionally now I look at photos and think I'm the fat one, only to realize that is actually someone else, and I'm the skinnier girl I didn't look at :)  I don't mind looking back at old photos now, either, since I see how far I've come.

Also, I had a lot of bad photos, and noticed that some people on facebook always look great in their photos (despite the fact that they aren't super attractive in life), and did a lot of reading on how to be more photogenic.  It's all about posing for best effect, and  having a camera face ready - practice.  (Take a lesson from Paris Hilton: http://www.gossiplist.com/blog2/archives/0067 07.html)