Fairly big personal issue here, advice??
Ok, so I'm going T-Total. I've drank far too much for far too long, and i'm only 21.
I used to only EVER drink on a friday, or at the pub. About a year and a half ago, I started heavily as I used it instead of food... stupid, I know.
But its at the point where I can actually drink 3 bottles of wine, and some beers.. for weeks solid.
I'm also becoming aware I'm pretty much making my patners life hell, and i'm around his wee girl daily. . we also live at his parents just now, and i'm embarrased of what I've become. . I don't even like being in the house (we live in a studio flat behind it) I know what the think when they see me, and I looked around this morning, saw bottles, and decided NOW is the time to change. It'll be strange, as I also 'got drunk' because his brothers moved in for a month , and he has a habbit of stressing me out to the point i'm contemplating going back to se my doctor about stress..
and now after so much booze, I've piled on weight in areas I don't like, and my arms/legs/face are always puffy.
My mother is an alcoholic, and i think (know) that i'm well on my way. I can only stop for a few days, then start up as I'm stressed, and I have 'issues' when something goes wrong. I actually admitted it 'just gave me something to do'.
Last night, some beers went missing, so I got the blame. and in their shoes, I'd be the same.
I'll screw my liver up if I carry on. .if i've not already - and the most important fact is I do not want to lose my boyfriend. A few months ago we were talking about getting engaged, and I want to prove I can do this.
So reasons for this
- I'm ashamed of myself
- I want to tone up, get healthy, lose the extra lbs
- make use of my bike, take his girl out, enjoy swimming, go to nice places.
- the money.. on 'bad days' I spend 14pounds, add this up for a week.. it's shocking.
- last nights tiff with everyone (not my bf, as he wasn't in the room at the time, i had gone in to go to the toilet - when he hears, there will be another fight =/)
- see my family, i avoid them now, as I can't even look at myself anymore
- make people proud of me again, like they were when I recovered from my ed.
Oh, and I actually dropped a little kid a month ago!! Wtf! I want to become a mother!
- the latter -I want to have kids. someone they can look up to, not someone like I saw my own mum for so long.
So here goes. . I am an alcoholic. (first time ive admitted that!) and I know you didn't need to hear my life story, but I needed it out my system.
has anyone got advice? please dont critisize me, but I want to show people i'm stronger than i'm acting. . sorry this is so long, but I do need help...
I'm going to sit my guy down and ask him to do everything in his power to make sure I dont drink again, and if I crave one, to sit me down and remind me why im doing this.
thank you..
i dont have any advice for you but i wanted to post and tell you i read that and i wish you all the best of luck, you are doing a great and brave thing and i believe you can be strong and beat this. x
Well done for admitting you have a problem. It takes a strong person to admit they're screwing up and that they want to stop. I too have used alcohol as a way to cope with stressed, i've been depressed for years and the only time i got peace ( or so i thought) was when i drank. Drinking loads does put tonnes of weight on and in the most annoying of places.
I can't tell you what to do because it's your life but i can tell you what i would do it your situation. Firstly, talk to your boyfriend, tell him you have a problem and would like his support helping you to stop drinking. Tell him why you want to stop, mostly for yourself but also for him and his little girl. Be honest about everything your thinking and feeling and what triggers your drinking, I'm sure he loves you very much and will help you through it.
Secondly, stop putting yourself down, everyone make mistakes. You've make the first step in getting your health back by joining this site. I found this site to be be an amazing help. Everyone here is very friendly and have been through a lot, whether it be ED, parenting, depression or weight loss.
No one here will criticize you for trying to sort your life out, thats why were all here.
I wish you the best of luck and to keep your head up. You are a strong person, others will see it soon.
Claire,
You've admitted you have a problem; as was said that's the first step, a big brave one!
I support what malkavian said, and in addition see if you can find some type of AA meetings to attend. With having an alcoholic mum and an ED you need the support of others that are going thru/have been thru the same things you have.
My brother was a recovering alcoholic when he passed on about 8 years ago, and he was a completely different man when he died. He was the man we all knew he could become, and we were finally close. It was so wonderful to feel the genuine love he felt for me the last time I saw him.
So, dear Claire, take these first steps with loved ones by your side and little by little you will learn to take one day at a time and love yourself again.
Hugs and blessings to you.
Absolutely well done on seeing the problem. I strongly encourage you to talk to your doctor and find some outside assistance. Your bf can be a support but you might/probably need more than he can give. You said your mom is an alcoholic so your whole life has been spent seeing this an answer. You sound like you have motivation and a desire for your life to be different, good luck.
You have done something amazing by admitting you have a problem. I am now a sober alcoholic. In two days I will be 10 months sober. Almost a year. I was the absolute party girl/alone drunk. I drank all the time everyday. Before work, during work, after work, before bed, allllll the time. You just have to ask yourself when will it stop. The day I decided to become sober I didn't drink ONE DROP after that. One day you might say " well it's just ONE glass". Don't drink it! It's not worth it. If you need anything let me know.
i wish you the best of luck but also want to make sure...if you dont have a drink, do you get shaky?? if yes then youre dependant physically and cant go T-Total without medical help....seriously people who are physically dependant can die from suddingly deciding to stop!
but good luck xx
Claire- I wish you the best of luck. I'm having the same problem as you... although mine is just beginning. I was a really big partier before meeting my husband. We moved in together and got pregnant all within the first year. I thought my party life was over. Ever since I had my son a year ago, I haven't been able to tame the urge to drink. I crave the feeling of being drunk.
The last couple weeks I have been really bad... I BBQ, grab a beer, watch some tv, grab a beer... it's just a never ending cycle it seems. So, seeing your courage to stop is going to motivate me to stop. I want to be able to raise my child right and have a perfect relationship with my husband.
Good for you for coming out and saying that you have a problem and need help. It's hard- I know. I need to quit drinking for me... I just want to get to know myself again. Good luck girl! We're all here for ya.
Thanks guys! You're all lovely :)
I'm hearing voices in my head at the moment, something I know happens with the DT's - and I swear, I shall never think my mother is playing it on again. It's horrible, It's like I have 6 people all at once talking to me and when I say 'what, did you say something?' out loud, my partners looking at me and sayng 'have you officially lost it?' it's only been nearly 2 days, damnit! Never slept last night either, which was fun =/
But anyway, not for long i hope! Making a docs appointment for this week, and I have my guy on 'patrol' for 2 weeks. I'm actually going to spend the majority of money on 2 weeks worth of food, new make up and clothes so all that is left over is a day-trip away. . which I shall give most of to him to keep a hold of, as my local shop is also the booze shop - irony.
Oh and ginger, you don't seem to be too bad - just give it up for a while again, you might find after that you won't crave it! I'm going to miss our 'wine and take-out' nights. :(
again, thank you everyone! x
definitely, you should join an AA group because you will get really valuable support there. I think if you address the drinking the other things (like how you feel about your physical appearance) will fall into place.
It's fantastic that you have realised NOW that you have a problem rather than waiting until you've screwed up your life totally! Some people are able to say 'I'm just not going to drink any more' and stick to it... but most need outside help. Since you're having physical symptoms from the quitting, please go and see a doctor TODAY to make sure you're safe... they can help you...
