familial support

i have problems getting along with my mother, but i thought she'd be happy for my weight loss of 5% of my body fat.  everyone else was, my friend even hugged me, but my mom just said "ok".  it makes me feel like losing my wieght isn't important, even though she is very close to having diabetes, and both my parents have high blood pressure and cholesteral, even my 14 year old brother has high blood pressure.  how do you stay motivated when those around you act like it doesn't matter?

Could it possibly be that your mom isn't excited for you because it makes her feel worse about herself?  I know it's a stupid reason, but parents aren't perfect, and still feel petty emotions. 

Hey svudent2009,

I'm sorry to hear about your mother's negative response. I know what it's like to have a very unsupportive family. My mother passed away in 2003, when I was 14 years old. My father became an alcoholic and physically abusive only towards, while my older sister was really passive about things. I was taken by Children's Services and lived with them until 18. I've learned that sometimes you have to rely on yourself because not many people--even family--will be supportive at times when you need them the most. I personally believe your accomplishment is incredibly amazing, and you should definitely be proud of yourself. Just try to think about the good responses you recieved like from your friends and other supportive people you have within your social network.

You could also try explaining everything to your mom and explain how you feel about her current condition as well. I hope things end up working out with her, and after all, she is your mother =)

Reminds me of my mom. When I found out I was pregnant with my son (the only grandson of hers at the time and still today) all she said was oh. No gushing, no clapping for joy, just oh. It really hurt.But then I thought to myself, "Why should my happiness depend on hers?" And when I asked her why she's not excited she didn't have a good answer, oh well.

I think that it would be wonderful if your mother were excited for you as much as everyone else is, but unless you ask her why she's not seemingly happy for you you'll never know if she really is or if she was preoccupied. Maybe her friend at work just found out she has cancer...I don't know, but I know that there are times when I don't show complete enthusiasm for something my husband or children do, not because I'm not excited, but sometimes changing from one emotion to another is too difficult. If this is a completely out of character thing for your mom, ask her if there is anything bothering her. IF this is a completely normal thing for your mom, tell her how it made you feel. She may not be aware of your feelings.

As for staying motivated, it seems like you have a great support from others, even those of us on this post. Share your successes with the people who offer you support, and don't share it with those that have not offered you support. I know it will proaly be hard to not share your successes with your mom, but it will be so much worse if you keep sharing and your mother keeps her feelings bottled up. And, maybe your mom is feeling a bit put out because you are making progress in your heath and she's not. It's true, parents do feel petty emotions, usually at the expense of the kids (no matter how olde they are).

Just whatever you do, don't lose sight of your goals, don't feel like it's not worth it, don't let her dampen your success. If you are losing weight for reasons that are your own, and not because she wants you to, then you will continue to find the motivation you need to continue.

Good luck!

I added you as a friend because I also have mom issues and I'm in school to become a high school teacher as well.  We need all the motivation we can get and (sadly) if we can't get it from our family, then we have to find it somewhere else!  I completely agree with emmakea, we shouldn't let our happiness depend on other peoples happiness...especially when some people are seemingly looking to be unhappy!

I know that whenever I lose weight or am proud of my diet being under control my mom has something negative to say.  I try hard to ignore her but it still hurts.  Sadly, now I only share my happy diet news with people who I know are going to be happy with me.  Why bring on the negative attitude?

Good luck!

Sorry your Mother and you are still having issues even though she is on the other coast now.  And just to correct some info you have listed that isn't quite accurate, your Father has high cholesterol that is hereditary and resolved via medication, yes he has high blood pressure also hereditary and resolved via medication.  Neither of your brothers are 14 nor were they when this was posted.  And heads up neither of your brothers have high blood pressure.  We all eat right, no junk, eat healthy, no pasta, rice, potatoes, or red meat and very little bread.  We don't eat after 6pm, and we all drink a lot of water.  This is how we have all lost weight and we all have energy and feel good daily.  No pop, no junk, no fast food...it works very well without doing much else, oh no milk, unless it is soy milk and weight watchers cheese.  Making simple changes help out tons.