Family problem.

I really feel like dieing right now. My mom's been starving and under-feeding my little sister. My mom used to give her around 1 cup of rice and normal amount of food (meat/vegetables). Then my mom went crazy and said my sister was fat. So she started giving her less than half a cup of rice and even less food. I got really worried about this but my sister actually enjoys it because she thinks she's getting skinner. Right now, my mom made dinner but didn't give my sister anything. She says my sister needs to skip some meals to be skinny. And now I'mcrying. And my sister supports my mom in starving her

I guess I would ask, how old is your sister?  And how old are you?  Obviously, skipping a meal is NEVER the answer.  I grew up with a mom who would point out my "fat" every time I'd gain an ounce.  I was not fat... if anything I was too thin.  I've never felt comfortable in my skin and no doubt this had something to do with my body image.  But.. I was not put on strict diets or deprived of food.  If you feel your sister's health is being threatened, talk to an adult you trust and ask for help.  It can be a teacher, counselor, neighbor, relative, doctor, welfare services.  The help is out there, but you have to be willing to reach out and ask for it.  Good luck and wipe those tears away.  Strength not tears.  Calm energy not anger.  Good luck.

My sister is 10 and I'm 15.

i second ncdreamer...please talk to a teacher, counselor, etc.  it takes courage to do it, but it is important.

I did tlel my mom how its wrong to starve my sister. She just says "I'm the mother so I get to control what she eats". But thanks everyone. I feel better tlaking about it. Sorry for wasting your time.

You're not wasting anyone's time. I am glad you feel better. I think you just realized that you know more about nutrition than other members of your family and that is a BIG responsibility for a 15-yr old. You may compliment your mom for the healthy foods she makes and she may be more open to listening to you. It is pretty amazing that you are here learning about nutrition.

Putting a 10 year old on a severe calorie restricted diet is not only unhealthy but is also a form of child abuse. Please start keeping track of times when your mother willfully does not feed her. Tell a counselor at school, they will contact the appropriate people.

You are right to be concerned for your sister's health, the human brain is not fully developed until adulthood. Restricting needed calories can cause delays in brain development and function.

Be strong, your sister is too young to know it's wrong and harmful.

If knew your name and where you lived I'd be calling children's services on your Mom.  What she's doing is emotinal abuse, neglect, and is very illegal. 

These other people may be right about getting outside help.

I don't know what state you are in, but I would contact Child Protective Services immediately.

This is not a normal feeding situation.  Get help immediately no matter what you fear the consequences will be with your mother.  People care about you and will keep you and your sister safe.

This is no way to treat a child and if continued, will most likely end up killing her.  At the very least, she will have some serious issues with food for the rest of her life and may even be mentally and physically underdeveloped.

Please contact someone you trust and get help for yourself and your sister, and especially your mother.

Being fifteen, you are in a scary position.

Contacting children services could change your life and your sister's life as well.

You need to have an informed idea of what would happen first before you talk to anyone.

Making contact with a school counsellor does not mean that you will be taken away or that your mother will be charged with any crimes.

Do not let the above poster scare you.

Anything that you talk about with a school counsellor is confidental.  Unless your life is in danger you will just talk to her/him.

You are a very caring person to be here and make this thread.  You must love your sister a lot to be so concerned about her.  Be strong and do what in your heart you know is right, because we can give you all the advice in the world, but in the end it is your decision to act upon it.

Good luck and if you need support we are here for you.

As an early childhood education teacher, if I knew about this I would be forced to report it.  Children, especially a 10 year old girl, is growing in more ways than just up and NEEDS a healthy, balanced diet.  In my opinion, your mother is contributing to ,and possibly even introducing her to, future eating disorders.  This is a REALLY BIG problem.  If your sister continues on this path, it is likely she will die from it.  Knowing about this and saying nothing means you could very well contribute to your sisters death.  I"m sorry you're 15 and have to deal with this and yes, I know that sometimes life sucks, but you HAVE GOT to say something and get help for your sister.  In doing so, you may also get help for your Mom. 

That is terrible. No matter what the age, being thin is not worth starving for. She needs to become more active, play more, not starve. That is just cruel. Your mom is doing way more damage than good.

Don't be scared. Talking to your Mom won't save your sister's life. Be brave and do the right thing, get help for your little sister and Mom. At 15 you are mature enough to protect your little sister from harm. In my opinion your Mom needs help also, she is sick.

 

Sending prayers and cyber hugs your way.

You need to report it to someone outside the family. This is probably severely hurting your little sister and is abusive. Please, talk to a school councilor, or even the police. Just do something about it. Your mom also needs help. I hope that your ok, and give you prayers and hugs! You can do this.

If you have not already taken the advice to talk to a trusted adult outside your immediate family, then stop reading and RUN do not walk to that trusted adult.  Now.  I mean it.  NOW!

You all (you, your sister and your mother) need help, badly.  Since you are the only one who can see this, then you are the one to go for the help.  Seriously, no matter what happens, it will be better than continuing as you are.

So, get going.  NOW!  GO!

(and let us know how it goes ... stay in touch, please!) 

where's your day?  grandparents?  are there any other extended family members you can talk to?  

i don't know what your mom is thinking with having your sister skip meals especially at the age of 10. Kids need to eat proper meals growing up. I hope your mom is aware that there are healthier ways to lose weight.

Have you tried talking to your sister about this? being as young as she is, she probably doesn't understand the body and how it works and what could happen if she doesn't get the proper nutrition she needs. Try talking to her and see where she stands on this. Is she just eating what your mother gives her because she is afraid to talk back to your mother or because she is starting to believe she is overweight? If she isn't so cool with the whole situation the both of you should talk to your mother and let her know.

i would def try talking to your mom about this. If she won't listen try someone else in your family that she just might listen to. and if that doesn't work you seriously need to go to people outside the family. Sometimes people need to get scared to actually take action.

Showing your concern for your sister's health should open your mothers eyes to what she is doing and hopefully she will stop. If i was you i would take control of what my sister ate and feeding her healthy meals. But being 15 that is alot to take on. so hopefully your mom will listen to you and not the crazy media of how skinny is the way to be.

 

good luck. 

 

Hello Strawberry Dolly,  It's NCdreamr again.  I posted the first message.  I just read MOST of the comments and I guess it's fair to say that I agree with most of them.  Honestly though, NONE of us can really know what is happening in your home.  Childhood obesity is killing chidlren and a parent could over react out of love NOT a desire to create harm.  PLEASE..... confide in a adult in your life.  Let them know your concerns.  Describe your concerns to them in great detail.  Give them the weight of your concerns and let them carry them for you.  Trust their instincts.  Don't carry this burden alone... I can tell you care about your sister.  She's lucky to have you in her life.  Talk to an adult that you trust and talk to them soon.  And NEVER apologize for loving someone.  You and your family are in my prayers.

Someone needs to report your mom to CPS, NOW!!! the two of you need to be moved out of that home and taken somewhere safe where you are not being abused. This is child abuse and the other people writing here are being way to easy about this. It is not an easy thing to do but what she is doing to you and your sister is wrong. Make a stand NOW for you and your sister. If your mother keeps this up she will be facing murder charges and child neglect. I rather see you get out of the situation knowing you did the right thing rather than stay in a deadly situation because you are not sure what will happen. We do know that if you don't get help now, you or your sister will die, maybe both! get to an adult first thing tomorrow at school, tell them what happens at home and move in with a friend, relative or whatever you need to do.

It is ridiculous that this hasn't been reported already! Keep us posted.