i am fat again.....fatter actually

i lost 35 pounds, got too skinny, so i started eating more, it got addicting, and i gained it all back plus 5 pounds more. I feel so fat, none of my clothes fit, all i can wear is sweatpants and T-shirts, I have my senior picture today and i look fat, when i go back to school everyone will see how much weight i've gained, and i'm just so depressed and confused. For some reason I lost the self control i had to lose the weight. I'm discouraged because now i have to start all over. I need motivation. How do you get yourself to lose the weight you already lost once?

Its hard.  I'm in the same situation.  I've gained and lost these 40lbs like 3 times.  I'm trying to convince myself that I can go slower this time and focus on things other than weight, but its hard.  It makes me so depressed to have put on this much weight and I just don't have the motivation to get it off again.

Well to be honest, it sounds like the way you did it before was the wrong way. If you lost too much, it was because you developed an eating disorder. An ED can be either eating too little or too much, or both. You need to learn more about a healthy lifestyle, and worry less about what other people at school think about you. Don't try to get into the mindset that you had before, try finding a new mindset.  School is such a short period of time in your life, but your health is something you will need forever.

One of the problems with "going on a diet" to lose weight is that once one suceeds one tends to go back to the old eating habits.  Don't feel bad you are not alone.  Many of us have done it.  But what many of us are trying to do is to change our habits.  The goal is to find a new way to eat that is both fulfilling and appropriate for reaching and maintaining our ideal weight.  Fortunately all the information and support you need to be sucessful is available on this site.

Original Post by i_take_time:

i lost 35 pounds, got too skinny, so i started eating more, it got addicting, and i gained it all back plus 5 pounds more. I feel so fat, none of my clothes fit, all i can wear is sweatpants and T-shirts, I have my senior picture today and i look fat, when i go back to school everyone will see how much weight i've gained, and i'm just so depressed and confused. For some reason I lost the self control i had to lose the weight. I'm discouraged because now i have to start all over. I need motivation. How do you get yourself to lose the weight you already lost once?

Wow. You are going through the SAME EXACT Thing i am going through now. Last summer i began a restrictive diet and lost about the same amount of weight you did. I became "too skinny" according to my family and i was tired of restricting myself and i guess i reached the point where i couldnt restrict anymore and ever since April i have been steadily gaining weight. None of my old clothes, which are size 4 or 6, fit me anymore. I have no clue how much weight i've gained at this point because i'm afraid to check.

I realize though i have to at least eat healthy but not restrict myself in order to stop my constant yo-yoing. Maybe my body wasnt made to be a size 4 and its "happy" at an 8. At this point i am working on hopefully not gaining any more weight and maintaining at least where i am now.

I would say don't get discouraged, eat normally and keep yourself satisfied and don't over restrict in order to avoid any type of binging or overeating. Every day is a new day! Exercise also helps me feel a bit better about myself as well...

Good luck to you

 

I lost almost 40, Ive gained back 10.. I have 0 motivation but I still drag my ass to the gym and zig zag my calories.. Im just gonna try maintaining at 140-ish for now..

My problem is I have/had cycstic acne and now I have scars all over my face.. Im in the mind frame that even if I get "skinny"  Ill still look ugly anyways and working out 3 days a week is enough to excersize to be "healthy"

Blah

hey platinumbutterfly why do you think if you have scras you would look ugly.

You look good if you are happy from inside so try to be happy and healthy you would look good..

Even the fat body or a bad skin is not as bad as a negative thought.

PLease try to be happy and you would look the best... 

ok dptvas and platinumbutterfly i can relate to both of you i was 125 when i convieved 210 at 9 nearly nine months and super depressed about my body.. i went from zero stretch marks, zero cellulite, zero veins on my thighs, and a belly button ring........ to having all the above i look like a huge us road map... and its been three years whats held me back from trying to lose weight is the fact that my train of thought is ill never look how i did before ill always look digusting... well i was 155 160 since i had my son and that was through the stage of depression and thinking im so fat and disgusting and no diet or exercise... within the last 5 months i gained 30-35 pounds i was at 190 no clothes fit me nothing and i thought what have i done to myself??? well its been 3 years since i had my bundle of joy and if i would have opened my eyes then and stopped focusing on my past befores i wouldnt have let myself put on this weight and i could have possibly been at the weight i was before i had my son.. see i realize i will never have the body i desire but i i can have a body that i worked hard to create see if i lost that 50 pound with out even trying imagine what i can do with a little effort and a life style change ... so over the past month i have decided im the only one holding myself back because of what people say or think dont do that to yourself because of weight or scars because they are not holding you back you are make the inside shine out and dont diet just make a life style change the weight will slowly come off and  it will be easier to keep it off long term instead of gaining it back quickly.. i have made small changes with food and exercise and have already lost 6 pounds so good luck dont be your own worse credic

I know, it's a really awful thing to think and I know this... I've been diagnosed with depression and I maybe going on anti-depressants..  I have an appt with a dermatologist soon and I will be going to "talk to someone" about this as per my Dr's orders.  I'm so sad that I feel this way and that I am such a different person than I was just a few months ago..  Im working on it, im not to far gone yet...

i_take_time, i'm also in the same boat back to my fat self like i was in high school.  it's extremely depressing so i know what your feeling.  worst i developed binge eating from it so it's becoming a habit that i can't break, but message me if you even want to.

I am in the exact same boat as all of you right now! I feel like before college, when I was in high school, I felt like I was in control of everything food related. I regularly counted calories and crunched numbers like it was my job. I was able to maintain my weight at 105 lbs (5'1 height). Then college happened. I was so afraid of eating cafeteria food b/c I felt like I had no control over how it was prepared.... so I kept a lot of food in my room. This ended up being a bad thing b/c any time I felt anxious or stressed or bored, it would lead to a binge!
Now I'm embarassingly 10 lbs heavier then when I first started and I can say that alcohol had nothing to do with it. I just can't get the same regimented mindset I once had b/c I feel so overwhelmed by how much I have to lose. And now its affecting other aspects of my life... like school and running for my college team!!
I'm so unhappy and I feel like I need help... but I guess its sort of reassuring to know that I'm not the only one with this issue.

I'm just coming back to this site because of the same situation.  I totally sympathize with how you're feeling.  I cried myself to sleep last night over it.   This time last year, I was starting off a new school year with rave reviews (I'm a teacher).  Everyone was happy for me.   Everyone was complimenting me.   This year, I'm going back with all of the old weight back on.  I doubt everyone will say anything mean.  They'll just feel sorry for me.  I hate it.

And..just like you're worried over your senior picture, I'm thinking about the wedding dress I'm supposed to be fitting into soon..   I'm getting married in November.   I was hoping so much that I'd have lost some weight.

It sucks.  But, as you know...there's only one thing to do...   The ONLY way to feel better about all this is to start losing again. Today's my first day back to counting.  I'm extrememly hungry, and a bit depressed, but I'm just going to do it.   The only thing I know is that I don't want to feel this way anymore... 

Hey girly,

 

     The way I have started to lose weight again... lol again.... is just by setting a goal and mine this time was to lose 10-20 lbs before my trip to Seattle, my jeans didnt fit and I am so freaked about what I am going to wear. I started at 174 and right now I am 168 so its slowly dropping but my trip is in a Month soo yeah freaking a little.   But hey just try to find a reason other than the normal one to be healthy.   You can do it,  it might be slower than anyone would like but just stay motivated lol or we can all help with that!!!

 

Kayla