am I that fat that I cant find a boyfriend?

lol ok gotta vent for a minute! I am not ugly, yes im overweight, but not ugly.  Why is it that men would rather date skinny girls who are ugly?

Everyone realises eventully it is personality that counts, not looks. You just gotta wait for the men to realise its actually you they want, and not those stick-b****es. You'll find someone who thinks you're sexy cause they love you, and not "love" you cause they think you're sexy. 

No problem kylo. It really bothers me! Girls think guys should look for inner beauty, but they're guilty of the exact same thing - and every bit as critical of men as men are of us. I'm taking a women's studies class right now as an elective and I hate it...my prof is always going on about how much women are judged on their appearance but as a woman I KNOW we do it just as much! lol 

Oh i know i am shallow at times. I can't have a relationship with a man i don't find attractive, more because i know i wouldn't get aroused by them so it would end up as a friendship anyway. I know i would prefer a slim guy to an over weight one, yet i am over weight! Double standards or what?! But i will openly admit it, which i think is half the problem so many people kid themselves that they don't think about looks and appearance. Every one does at some point. 

I would like to add this: get away from the TV. All the women they show as nice trim robots. They are not real. The average woman has some weight, and so do the guys. I prefer women who have a good personality and like to laugh. If you want to lose weight, fine. But don't make it a serious concern so much that you are so worried about looking thinner that you lose your  personality and charm. Some people can lose weight, and some it takes alot of work. As Billy Joel sings, "I love you just the way you are."

One of my friends said something a year ago that always makes me smile.  When asked if she was going to become a diet bride she said "no, he fell in love with my fat, now he can marry it"  :o)  Lovely, great person and a wonderful friend, all the important qualities.

I've always been attracted to many different types of women (short, tall, thin, fat & etc...), but none have ever been attracted to me. I'm pretty sure my weight is the problem with my self image, so I eagerly await the day that this weight is all behind me. I truly do believe that it is what's on the inside that matters and I hope to find a woman, one day, who feels the same way. No one's perfect so why should there bodies be?

I work with a guy who sleeps with several women on a daily basis and it's rather annoying to hear about it because I would like to find just one. Not that I actually put myself out there but, from what I can gather, I think overweight women have an easier time finding that special someone than overweight men. From my POV, it's because overweight women are still beautiful but overweight men, at least in my case, are just disgusting to look at. Man, I never let anyone take my picture because of my weight.

Anyway, OP you are beautiful, regardless of your weight...someone's out there for you, you just have to wade through the trash to find them

 

"Keep Smiling!"

To the OP, I think you look awesome! Seriously. Look how far you have come! From your pictures, you don't even really look overweight to me. You basically look about what my goal is right now ( 37 lbs or so to go ) You are gorgeous.

Now, that being said. Here I am a little bit heavier than you are right now ( also I have recently lost 43 lbs) So at my heaviest, I have NEVER had any trouble getting guys ever, and I must say pretty damn sexy guys at that. ( and not just in my opinion, my family and friends have even made comments along the lines of, yeah Michelle is overweight but she gets the guys) I'm not being conceited, just sayin'. The point I am making is it really is ABOUT YOUR ATTITUDE. If you come off like you are "ALL THAT" self confidence just oozing, people who are around you will believe that you are! It's a funny little thing, but it's true and it works. Now let's not kid ourselves, there are men who would never want a thicker girl ( personal taste) but like another poster said, would you even want them anyway? I think my personality, self confidence, and sense of humor is really attractive to the opposite sex. What I have is better than 50 brainless,skinny, no personality broads put together. period. If a guy doesn't see that than F him.

Love yourself, take your self confidence back, now. You will see a huge difference, I promise. Seriously it has to be your attitude, because you look good.

Like everyone says, it's not necessarily about what you look like, but rather how you feel about what you look like.  I don't date much mainly because I rarely connect with people on that level, and when I do I don't think it has much to do with looks. 

I think you just have to have faith that you'll eventually find somebody who is right for you.  Once you relax about that it's easier, I think.

OK, first of all, you are a total KNOCKOUT!  Your before/after pic is absolutely incredible and very motivational.  Look at what you've accomplished!

That said, I think attracting a guy is 95% self-confidence.  It is very obvious to us human beings when someone is self-conscious, and it is also very obvious when they're comfortable with themselves.  And we seem to prefer the latter.  As opposed to love, initial attraction is a game (one of the most exciting games we play as humans in my opinion), and absolutely anyone can play it, regardless of how they look.  People far underestimate the power of innocent flirting, and men are just so darn easy when you flirt with them (due in part to their enormous sense of male pride).  Especially since they hate making the first move.  You never know - there might have been 20 guys who wanted to ask you out in the past week but were too scared of rejection to approach you!

I also think that most guys are looking for the same thing we ladies are: someone who respects them and treats them right and is fun to be around.  The right kind of guy would have a hard time not noticing and responding to these things.

I think maybe you are not meeting the right kind of men.  Where are you looking?  Men at bars tend to be there to hook up, not to commit.

I thought that once I'd lost a bunch of weight, I'd be a man magnet (LOL).  Well it hasn't happened yet.  I think there are other reasons I have a hard time meeting men.  I'm trying to pinpoint what they are, but haven't yet.

I hope its the case that if you just take it easy and go with the flow, he will find you.

I've been single for nearly 6 years.  Dated yes, but haven't been in a relationship.  Sometimes I don't mind, and sometimes it bums me out.  But I think that I'll be in a better position to be in a relationship should one come up if I'm happy and content with myself.  That's getting easier as I get older!

I actually have a date tomorrow night - first in a LONG TIME.  Wish me luck!! haha

Original Post by bryank1977:

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Anyway, OP you are beautiful, regardless of your weight...someone's out there for you, you just have to wade through the trash to find them

 

"Keep Smiling!"

 Awe, that's sweet...and posting it on a thread that's been dead for over a year makes me think bryank1977 may have a bit of a crush on the OP!!!  

Sheesh!  I need to pay more attention to dates.  Some of you people have a real love for resurrecting the long dead.

haha I didn't look at the date either. 

Me neither... maybe the OP is married now, who knows.  LOL

Jeeeeze yep me either. This chick is probably probably married by now LOL

HAHA Jinx!

Original Post by minbin:

Oh i know i am shallow at times. I can't have a relationship with a man i don't find attractive, more because i know i wouldn't get aroused by them so it would end up as a friendship anyway. I know i would prefer a slim guy to an over weight one, yet i am over weight! Double standards or what?! But i will openly admit it, which i think is half the problem so many people kid themselves that they don't think about looks and appearance. Every one does at some point. 

bingo!:-)

Skinny girls are known to be easier.

 

No... I'm just joking =) 

But really, I think that every guy has their own interpretation of what is pretty.  Like, my husband thinks my smile is so cute and different... I have a peg-lateral canine (which is just a small tooth)... and even though I feel very uncomfortable smiling, he LOVES it and won't let me get it capped. 

If a guy finds that weight matters more than personality/beauty, you don't want him anyway!

Perhaps you're trying too hard?......I guess by the fact that you have posted this that you would really like to have a bf, therefore you have a "Need" and guys pick up on that and run a mile. So it's not that you aren't pretty!

Once you give up trying to find a bf, that's when you are most likely to get one.

Best of luck