Faulty Thinking and Sabotaging Thoughts

The post that lists our reasons why we want to lose the weight did so well, I thought I'd add another Judith Beck idea for creating a change in our thinking.

  Why we overeat, why we choose to break away from our food plan has alot to do with the thoughts we are thinking BEFORE we take that first bite. Her way to combat the eating is to contradict the faulty thought with a rational thought, that is clear, encouraging and helpful.  I'll list some of examples.  It would be great if you could add some of yours as well.  Here we go!

-Thought-----"dieting should be easy and short term"

response------ "the only way to lose weight permanently is to learn dieting skills and practice them everyday, then dieting will get easier and easier

-thought-----"it isn't fair,other people eat what ever they want!

respo-------"When dieting seems unfair, remind myself I'm not alone.  This is how all successfull dieters and maintainers eat.  I have a choice.  I can let a sense of unfairness overwhelm me, cheat on my diet and gain weight.  Or I can accept that this time this, is what I have to do if I want ALL of the benefits of permanent weight loss.

thought------"I am stressed,afraid,feel bad, ---having a negative emotion--food will calm me...i can't stand this anymore...i need to eat now!

response---------"Emotions are NOT an emergency.  I don't HAVE to eat.  I can tolerate this feeling.  Eating won't solve this problem.  It will only make things worse, because then I'll have two problems: the original one, plus feeling weak, guilty,discourgaged, and worried that I may have gained weight

thought------"I am afraid how I will feel when I weigh myself"

response-----" My weight is NOT who I am.  It is NOT a measure of my worth. My weight is just a number that tells me information.  My scale is my accountability friend.  I will look forward to greeting him every morning for the rest of my life."

thought-----"yea, i did this right, or resisted that food, BUT I didn't do this thing or that thing well enough.."

response----------- "I REALLY DO DESERVE CREDIT for breaking old habits, and it is essential for building my confidence.  Once my confidence grows, everything will become so much easier."

There are just a few responses from my "response deck".  I use Judith beck's book to help me to change the way I think about food and dieting and it is working for me.  Many of the words above are from her book, some I have added for me.  I keep my "advantages for losing weight" in a deck of index cards and another deck for my "response cards". 

 I read them each day and also when I am having difficulty following my food plan.  Her thinking is that as you read and re-read them you are "practcing your dieting skills and re-programing your brain.....and I am beginning to see a change in my mind.  She has this "rule" of do not eat standing up.....like when you are cokking or getting little bites while at the refrigerator door.  I will reach out of habit to put a little bite of this or that in my mouth,  and now I hear the response card in my head saying. "Every Bite Counts"    

It is really helping me alot.  I have a growing collection now of responses to that "old me"....that part of me where old habits 'lie",   that trys to keep me eating like I always ate.  For me the emotional eating is the hardest, I want so much to run from the feelings and stuff them down with food.  With the reminders from my cards, I am learning that YES I can tolerate the feelings and that eating would be only a very very short fix that will leave me feeling worse than before I ate the unplanned food. 

If anyone out there is reading the same book,  I would love to make a connection.  Judith Beck has a website, but it does not have a post like we have here.  Hope this inspires at least one of you.  

Have a terrific Tuesday!!!!

Love To All

my current biggest one I have the hardest time with....

My son is 11, 4'10" 95lbs and eats twice as much as I do (aside from salad) that's not right, I should be eating more than him!

He doesnt need to lose weight; I do. He is still eatting healthy at every meal, items and portion. He is younger and not only has a higher caloric need than I do, but is also growing - whereas I am not.

I'm sure I have more but i think that, just for a tiny tiny second, every night at dinner - and sometimes at breakfast if he takes 2 bowls of cereal worth like 3 servings.

I really relate to that thought.  Just not fair is it?  But I bet at that age we got away with more calories, but maybe we "ran" them off in the course of a a day. When my son was 11 he never sat still.

  Your response is a good one. 

When I was younger I kept up with my husband, slice by slice of pizza, burger by burger.  I am 5'ft3".....he is 5'11"........look where that got me , haha  NOT FAIR!    He has never hadweight issues. 

  My mom used to say "life's not fair and the sooner you accept that the sooner you'll find happiness"....I thought that was a depressing thought, now after she is gone I often look back and see a really wise woman!

Probably my more persistent malignant thought is "one bite won't hurt"

Now I remind myself "one bite leads to two bites.  Two bites leads to a slice gone.  A slice gone leads to a half pizza gone." 

How I stop myself is by reminding myself "that is the slippery slope"  don't even let yourself go there.

We had a Halloween Party at school today.  It was a sweets heaven (or nightmare!)  I even brought two apple pies myself.  I did not indulge.  I looked at all those treats and did one of two things.  I reminded myself that the temporary treat becomes fat that is really hard to get rid of.  And I also imagined flys walking on the food (not so positive, but it works).

I ate my lunch, enjoyed the social event, and was pleased with myself for resisting.  I have a pie, a cupcake and some snack mix to take home to my hubbie if he wants them.  If not a neighbor will get the pie.

texmom -

I can sooooo relate to your  "bad" thought, but I have come up with a way to solve the one leads to another slippery slope when I want a bite of what someone else has - my biggest problem with that is when I am cooking. I am still trying to figure out how new (I'm creating them on the spot) taste iwithout over indulging before it ever makes the table. (Most of the time, I just take a little less and count the calories for a whole serving.) As for when it is something someone else has and they let me take a bite - I break off a small bite and hand the rest back. (This helps with the whole passing germs thing too)

So far I haven't had any other real "bad" thinking creep in. I am sure it is coming down the road somewhere - I'll let you know what they are as they happen.

Sunnim,

I had the fleeting thought yesterday, Oh I'll just have a bit of carrot cake or one Halloween chocolate covered pretzel or one spoon of "dirt" treat, or one cookie.

I just had to remind myself that those treats are not for me right now.  It's not that I can't have them, I can.  I just don't want to spend my calorie allowance on something so concentrated in calories. 

For one 200 calorie cookie I could have 2 apples or a huge salad with dressing or a serving of chicken, etc.

My biggest and most detrimental bad thought is "Oh, well I ate this that I shouldn't have, so I might as well go ahead and blow the whole day and eat every bad thing I have ben craving."

This is soooo wrong! Having a minor set back doesn't mean that you have messed up the whole day. You can change the rest of your day to accomodate that mistake and try to avoid the same mistake the next day. Besides, sometimes if you blow a whole day, you feel like you have blown the whole week, and you definately don't want to do that!

Texmom - I know the whole temptation gamble too - but I think for me the bigger thinking error is telling myself that something is a forbidden food because just like a little kid that is the fastest way I know to ensure that that particular food will call my name until I give in and have way too much. My way around that is to plan for the 200 calories in the cookie and then eat salad, etc to keep me full. If there is a low calorie version I can stand, I will do that as well.  The craving monster stays in the closet or under the bed that way.

Shaylese - It was the whole, "Well I blew it today, why not all week" slippery slope that sabataged my last attempt at losing weight. It took me another 2 years to get off the slope and start climbing the mountain again. No slopes for me this time.

Sunni

Shaylese,

I agree.  I've done that many times... I've blow this meal, I might as well have a DQ blizzard to go with it.  And, well, it's the weekend, I might as well just eat every thing I can get my hands on and start again Monday....but Monday never comes.

That is why I remind myself if I eat something that is off my program, as soon as I come to my senses, start again right there.   I don't try to compensate for it and starve, I just start again right there.  Don't beat myself up and go on.

I agree with you Sunnim.  If I intend to eat some high calorie item, I plan it into my day and then it is not a problem.  I have no shame about eating it because it's my plan.

That is why I told hubbie to ASK me,  "is that something you planned to eat?"  instead of "what are you doing eating a Snicker Bar?"

There is no guilt associated with eating something planned into your day.

THOUGHT-I want what I want .  I want to eat it now. Just a taste, just a small bite....it's not enought to hurt.

RESPONSE- I can have any food I want if it is PLANNED food.  I can plan to have this food at my next meal.  I can wait.  I will use my resisitance muscle now so that I will grow stronger to avoid impulse eating.

(resistance muscle and "giving in muscle are two term that Judith Beck uses in in book.  Also she emphasized that we need to not feel deprived by banning foods from our diet, instead we must commit to only eat planned food.  this helps me alot.  Sometimes I do go ahead and plan to have it the next day, but sometimes I'll find that the next day or the next meal I don't want to spend my claories on that food I was craving so much the day before.  Point is it is my choice....it just has to be planned food)

THOUGHT-Uncomfortablle anxiety,worry,emotion,worry,stress,fear...the heebeejeebees as I call "them......that overwhelming feeling that I subdues with food before I chose to stop this overeating.  That feeling, "I got to eat something, nothing else will make this "feeling" go away. 

RESONSE- Anxiety will alert me to pull back to calm myself.  NOT EATING when I am upset is a non-negotiable choice I have made for myself.  I must BE CALM to eat.  I will take 20 deep breaths, I will talk to my "diet buddy", I will leave this room or this place---I will walk, BUT I WILL NOT EAT UNTIL I AM CALM.