I feel so helpless

Please help me.

I have been on a diet at school and had lost 5kgs(weighed 100kg, and am 174cm), but recently I had to move back home with my mother. Since I moved back, I have completly lost my motivation and find myself binging every single day when my mother isnt in the house. I have gained back the 5kgs, which took me months to loose, within 3weeks!!!! I just can't feel when I should stop eating. When my mother is around I dont eat anything. In a single day when she is out I will eat 8 rounds of toast with butter and jam, 4 full bowels of cereals and what ever else is around!!! By the end of the day I feel disgusting and hate myself so much and just cant move as my stomach gets so full i can't move without it physically hurting. My eating habits come in periods where i eat so much i feel sick, then i starve myself in spite. I try to even it out, but i just can't as the food calls me!!

Please help with some advise. I do go for walks and try, but the food is so close and I convince myself that its okay to eat what i do, until i feel sick with the physical pain in my stomach.

Is there anything you can do to get out of the house for longer periods of time?  Getting right away from available food might help.

Plan what you are going to eat for the day, have it ready and premeasured, then get right out of the house and don't think about it until it's time to eat.

I know you're at a painful stage right now, but it's going to pass and you'll be fine.  Keep posting!

Claire

Thankyou for your support and interest in my problem - its nice to know I am not all alone !!

I still face my problem when I go out. I dont really eat when i am out, but when i come back home i stuff everything down - so it doesnt really make much of a difference.

My bining time is mostly between 14 and 17. At night when i feel terrible with my lack of self-control I do say to myself - right, tomorrow I will have 3 stable eating times, i WILL control myself-. But as morning comes and i have a light breakfest (normally around 10, get up at 8). Then as afternoon comes my mind locks into a food-program, where all i can think about it eating and eating.

Also, I am a vegetarian and my mother isnt - so we never really eat together, thus increasing my eating binge habits.

Thanks for any help

Sara

Probably your first step is going to be figuring out what's triggering your binge-and-starve sessions.  Can you keep a journal, or write in your diet log here, about how you're feeling when you see yourself start to reach for the food?  If you can identify your trigger feelings, you may be able to avoid starting to binge.  Since you were doing well with your diet at school, I know this is personal, but is everything OK at home?  You are hiding your eating behaviors, so you know they are unhealthy.  Let's figure out what's causing them so you can work on that.  Knowing your triggers is a big help in resolving the eating (which is usually just symptomatic, not the actual problem in itself)

Starving yourself is not an appropriate punishment for binging, though, it's just going to make you feel worse, and increase the likelihood of not being able to stop eating once you start.

I just came off of a really bad 2 weeks.  Granted I had my period of 1 of the weeks and the other week I was waiting for it (I was  1 week late).  But during the 2 weeks I really was not eating right and would binge on Easter candy and whatever else to make me feel better.  I gained back 6 of the 6.5 I lost the 5 weeks prior.  Surprisingly when I started watching my calories by logging on again I lost it quite quickly.  I've only been watching it again for 5 days.  That combined with not having my period to worry about...I am back to .5 lbs from my lowest weight.

I think our bodies have some sort of memory and it is easier to get back to where we were...then to surpass that point is probably harder.  So, just jump back on the band-wagon.  I bet you will loose it faster than you think.  I did.  Keep working on it! 

i do exactly the same thing. And feel so disgusted with myself afterwards. But Ive found that getting out of the house, even if its just a walk around the block, walking to the shop for a paper or catching the bus into town to walk back again.

Dont beat yourself up about it, and please dont starve yourself, punishing yourself will lead to binge-starve cycles which will be very difficult to get out of.

Thinking of you.

x

hey lostsould ~ i do the same and almost posted the new topic about it. maybe i will in the future anyway :) so i eat fine during the day and clear out everything i have at home at night. i am starting to be more in control sometimes and don't go as far as i used to. i find that my bf who i live with can be a very good help as when i am with him i don't overeat (i.e. eat normal). and he even eats more but i can hang. the problem is, if he is not home and i eat by myself, it is very hard to control. bottom line, i think maybe we can find someone who has the same diet if it is important to you like your friend and have dinner with them. when you get home try to make sure you are not by yourself and out of sight. or, what i recently started, i do my pilates dvd. it's about 20 minutes, helps me to relax, feel better about myself, and be stronger about my food choices. i have some hot tea after that instead. let me know what you think.

Hold yourself accountable for what you eat, whether your mom's there or not.  Write down everything you eat, with the amounts and calorie counts, as you eat it.  Maybe that'll help give you a visual reference to know when you've had enough, so you can stop.

Also, keep yourself busy with other activities while your mom's not around.  Do more exercise, maybe, or find some hobbies.  Just do whatever it takes to keep your hands busy and your mind off food.