~*~I feel SO horrible...I need help...Please??~*~

Hi, I am 19, and I am 4 months PP.

Before Preg I was 120lbs, I went up to 155lb, now, 4 months later, I am 138...And I feel absoltuely disgusted with myself.

See, I have quite a few obstacles in the way of me working out. 1) My husband and I dont have any form of transportation at all, and no friends, so I cant get out somewhere to exercise, 2) We live in the mounytains, and the road has NO sidewalks, therefore- is VERY dangerous, and I have almost gotten hit a few times, and had to jump in bushes- SO, I have to stay inside.

My measurements are 38-27-40, and today My husband, daughter and I had a wonderful time playing baseball with our church...and we took pictures...and when i looked back at the pics, I cried my eyes out. My thighs look SO huge...I look like crap...and I already hate myself, and i already know how horrible i look, but it got so much worse after I saw footage of myself.

My question is, WHAT can I do inside the house that doesnt cost any money?? I dont have a treadmill, and cant afford one, or a stationary bike, so neither one will work. I am purchasing a DDR home game next month that is said to help knock off pounds, so do you think that will help?? I dont mind my bust/waist size, its my butt and hips/thighs that are making me so damned depressed....Also, I am starting a belly dancing course next week....Should that help??

Please. I desperatley need help...If I cant get this damn fat off my thighs, I may as well just turn to bulemia...I hate myself so much...I just want to be pretty....

First of all, your body went to hell but you got a baby out of the ordeal, right? I don't like babies but I assume you do. So stop beating yourself up about it, okay? :) We all have to suffer a little to have good things in our lives.

Second of all, DDR is fun but it's a little limiting. I suggest you download some dance videos (or rent some from the store or library). When I did a lot of DDR I noticed that it made my knees hurt if I played for more than a half hour straight (and 30 minutes doesn't burn very many calories).

Jump roping and hula hooping are both indoor activities that don't cost any money and burn lots of calories too.

The first problem that you have is you hate yourself. Losing weight isn't just a physcial issue but also both a mental and emotinal issue. Before you even tackle the issue of weight loss, you have to be comfortable with who you are now. Losing weight isn't something that is done for a short period of time. It is a lifestlye change. It's is forever. If you just want to lose weight to look pretty then you will gain it all back. Lose weight because you want to be healthy. Because you want to live to see your daughter's wedding day. Because you don't want to get diabetes and have to stick a needle in your arm every day. Because you don't want to be gasp and feel lightheaded every time you walk up the steps. If you do it for the wrong reasons, then you will fall back into old traps and gain every pound that you have lost back.

Now to answer your question. I pick up both a Men's Health and Women's Health magazine. Men's Health suprisingly has a lot more tips and suggestions that can be used among both sexes. Anyway, I love them because they offer exercise routines you can do home using items around the house, healthy recipes, updates on current health improvements, and so much more. Once you do find a routine, make a mix cd with some heartpumping music.

Also, exercise is not the only thing you have to do. You have to eat healthier: more fruits, more vegetables, and more water. It can become a family effort, that way you will have support.

But whatever you do, don't get down on yourself or you won't have the energy to accomplish your goal.

Original Post by yummy_kitty:

First of all, your body went to hell but you got a baby out of the ordeal, right? I don't like babies but I assume you do. So stop beating yourself up about it, okay? :) We all have to suffer a little to have good things in our lives.

Second of all, DDR is fun but it's a little limiting. I suggest you download some dance videos (or rent some from the store or library). When I did a lot of DDR I noticed that it made my knees hurt if I played for more than a half hour straight (and 30 minutes doesn't burn very many calories).

Jump roping and hula hooping are both indoor activities that don't cost any money and burn lots of calories too.

Well, I love my little princess, she means the world to me :) I dont regret what my body went through for her, I would do it all over again if I had to. But I just feel so horrible....I am just disgusted with how much I have let myself go.....I have always had a body image problem, but it seems to be getting worse and i dont know what to do...

Original Post by kensethgirl17:

The first problem that you have is you hate yourself. Losing weight isn't just a physcial issue but also both a mental and emotinal issue. Before you even tackle the issue of weight loss, you have to be comfortable with who you are now. Losing weight isn't something that is done for a short period of time. It is a lifestlye change. It's is forever. If you just want to lose weight to look pretty then you will gain it all back. Lose weight because you want to be healthy. Because you want to live to see your daughter's wedding day. Because you don't want to get diabetes and have to stick a needle in your arm every day. Because you don't want to be gasp and feel lightheaded every time you walk up the steps. If you do it for the wrong reasons, then you will fall back into old traps and gain every pound that you have lost back.

 

Now to answer your question. I pick up both a Men's Health and Women's Health magazine. Men's Health suprisingly has a lot more tips and suggestions that can be used among both sexes. Anyway, I love them because they offer exercise routines you can do home using items around the house, healthy recipes, updates on current health improvements, and so much more. Once you do find a routine, make a mix cd with some heartpumping music.

Also, exercise is not the only thing you have to do. You have to eat healthier: more fruits, more vegetables, and more water. It can become a family effort, that way you will have support.

But whatever you do, don't get down on yourself or you won't have the energy to accomplish your goal.

I really have been trying to be okay with myself...I try so hard to be happy and i just cant seem to do it. One second I will be okay with myself, the next second, I am depressed again....I dont know how to fix it....

And most of all, I dont want my daughter feeling the way I do when she gets older. I had to deal with my mom being overweight, and her self-abuse, and I had to hear/see her boyfriend treat her like a bag of crap....He would call her fat...all sorts of stuff...And when I was living with my father, he would pick on me and say I was getting Chunky....So i basically starved myself...I got down to about less than 110 lbs, at 5 2, and i was content with myself once in a while, like the way I am now, but I felt physically sick....I dont want to be sick...and i dont want my beautiful daughter to hate herself like i do...I want to stop it....Its gotten so out of hand that I cant even watch tv without breaking down crying because of the skinny girls....I broke down in an airport once because some chick was absolutley hollywood perfect...and it killed me because I will never look that way. I am shocked my husband hasnt left me yet with as much drama as i cause every day becuase of my self hatred....

I think your problem is not about your body but postpartum depression.  Seriously.  Its normal and very common but it has to be addressed for what it is.  Crying because you are not as slim or "perfect" as someone on TV is a huge clue that there is more going on here than the usual baby weight.

Mind you -that is just my opinion based on scant information.  But I want to throw that idea out there because it might make sense to you. 

Gosh I hate pictures.  A similar thing happened to me today.  I was out with my family sight seeing and of course the camera was brought along.  I was wearing a dress which I thought was flattering... til I looked through the pictures later.  I looked like a square- as wide as I am tall.  And the pictures from behind... oh god, what an ass I've got, the fabric looked stretched acrossed it!  Can't believe I strutted around town like that. 

Original Post by luola:

Gosh I hate pictures.  A similar thing happened to me today.  I was out with my family sight seeing and of course the camera was brought along.  I was wearing a dress which I thought was flattering... til I looked through the pictures later.  I looked like a square- as wide as I am tall.  And the pictures from behind... oh god, what an ass I've got, the fabric looked stretched acrossed it!  Can't believe I strutted around town like that. 

I know how you feel....I think something looks great on me, then i see pics later...and oh god....

Original Post by madamq:

I think your problem is not about your body but postpartum depression.  Seriously.  Its normal and very common but it has to be addressed for what it is.  Crying because you are not as slim or "perfect" as someone on TV is a huge clue that there is more going on here than the usual baby weight.

Mind you -that is just my opinion based on scant information.  But I want to throw that idea out there because it might make sense to you. 

It cant be PPD, I have been this way since I was 16 or so....its just gotten progressivley worse the last 2 years.

If it was PPD I would hate what the pregnancy did to my body- basically, hate the stretch marks I have, but i dont hate those, i actually love them because they are marks from my beautiful little princess, so I know it cant be PPD....I have been looking into BDD...But I dont know if that is something....I have been told that i may have it from people...but i cant see a coucilor and anything, so it really doesnt matter....

You really should talk to your doctor or health visitor about the way you feel.  You can't joke about 'turning to bulimia'...  Post-natal depression affects a lot more people than you might think and in a lot of different ways.  You might not need counselling or medical treatment but simply some reassurance. 

If you've been struggling with self-confidence for several years then the stress of pregnancy and motherhood can exaggerate what's already there.  If there's a history of mental illness in the family (your mother's self-abuse) then that's another reason to seek help. 

In the meantime, there are things you can do with food choices and exercise that could help improve your mood and control your weight at the same time.   This 'Depression Relief Diet' might give you some pointers, for example.

Original Post by gi-jane:

You really should talk to your doctor or health visitor about the way you feel.  You can't joke about 'turning to bulimia'...  Post-natal depression affects a lot more people than you might think and in a lot of different ways.  You might not need counselling or medical treatment but simply some reassurance. 

If you've been struggling with self-confidence for several years then the stress of pregnancy and motherhood can exaggerate what's already there.  If there's a history of mental illness in the family (your mother's self-abuse) then that's another reason to seek help. 

In the meantime, there are things you can do with food choices and exercise that could help improve your mood and control your weight at the same time.   This 'Depression Relief Diet' might give you some pointers, for example.

 

 

I think everyone here has a valid point - turning to a doctor to get tested for post-partum is never a bad idea - just make sure the doctor who sees you isn't a quack - will that be expensive?

Personally, I think a great deal of this might be about your age - younger women tend to be far more visual and less ethereal - the PICTURES upset you - which, unlike the mirror, is a situational setting - like a movie - it immediately becomes a memory you have to carry.  in any event - your feelings may be linked to more psychological, and less organic, sources.

Being "pretty" for a 19 year old girl is about a lot of things - most of them clothes and body type.  By the sound of this you are motivated - and people like GI-Jane should be able to help you. 

GI Jane is right about joking about eating disorders - it's a no-no - especially on this site - where many members HAVE eating disorders - which can kill you - think about it like joking about bombs at airports - or suicide at a church or doctor's office - so if you were joking - SHAME ON YOU (Joke).  If you were not joking - stomp that behaviour out.

Almost every mother here has been through this.  If it's any comfort, I gained a similar amount of weight with each of 3 pregnancies and lost it all in the following year, without dieting.  Running around after active children and taking care of a huge house with a lot of stairs was exercise enough.

Give yourself time to lose this extra weight.  Above all, stop beating yourself up.  It's perfectly natural to gain during pregnancy and also normal to be upset about it.  I remember weighing 160 pounds 9 months pregnant, gave birth to an 8 pound baby and that day the scale in the hospital said 155.  I cried my eyes out over that. 

Now don't do anything extreme!  Health is the important thing and the weight loss will happen.

Well based on the measurments you gave, I'd say your body is fine.  You have a good WHR and the measurements seem to indicate you are a pear shape (this may not be your true shape but it is a nice healthy one).  You didn't say how tall you are so perhaps that is what is messing with your head...you don't like your measurments on the height of your body. I'm 5'4" and you and I have similar bust/hip measurements, but your waist is smaller than mine (mine's around 30/31). 

As to things you can do around the house: calisthenics (jumping jacks, running in place), go up and down the stairs, hula hooping, squats, and you can use bottles filled with liquid for weights.

Please consider trying to change your mind about yourself first though, okay?

Hon, your probably so depressed b/c your still so young- a teenager. You has a child Very young and you still want to seem beautiful to the world. Well, your body will never be the same BUt if you go to Youtube there ar eplenty of workouts-jane fonda orginal workouts-advanced and beginners both have legs, hips, abs, waist, arm, and stretch excercises that are lots of fun. This is what i would suggest.

Hey, I just wanted to say that we are all our own worst critic. You see yourself much differently from how everyone else percieves you. Sometimes a little assurance helps...I have seen your profile picture, and think you are GORGEOUS. you have perfect skin, a pretty smile, and beautiful eyes.

and I know you probably don't believe me, but I am actually very jealous of you, I would love to have such a proportionate body as you. Your measurements are basically a perfect hour-glass shape... and only about 8% of all women actually have this shape!

and you've had a baby, cut yourself a little slack! You can definitely get the body you want, but drastic measures (such as starvation or purging) are only going to hurt you and possibly even your daughter from having to watch her mother exhibit such destructive behaviors.

About your question.. could you do workout DVDs? My favorite are Jillian Michaels 30 day shred, which has three 20 min. workouts if you're short on time.. and she has a couple of other recent ones that are 45 min and burn a TON of cals. all you need are a couple of dumbbells.

Please don't be so hard on yourself.. message me if you want a buddy or to talk or something, because I have been where you are right now with the self-hatred.

Allison

youtube has a lot of workout videos

Personally, I love TaeBo!

acey, you're a beautiful girl! I know you don't see yourself that way, but we do. Even the hot girls in Hollywood have body image issues and cry over them just like us. Years ago I read a biography by a famous super-model (Cheryl Tiegs I think) who hated her body and would take drastic and crazy measures to try and correct these perceived problems. In retrospect she saw how convoluted her thinking was and part of her motivation for writing the book was to let other women know that even super models have these unfounded feelings of self-hatred and thoughts that they have bad bodies. Pretty eye-opening to discover that these "perfect" girls feel the same way as us normal girls. The message stuck with me even though I read it when I was a teenager and I am grateful. Of course I still have body issues, but I also know that everyone else does too. It's what makes us all interesting and different.

You're only 19 and I don't know your circumstances. I know you love your little baby and wouldn't trade her in for the world, but it would be natural for you to want to just have fun like a teenager for a day instead of having to deal with motherhood day in and day out. You're stuck in the house, no friends, no transportation except on foot AND you live in the remote mountains. I see that as a perfect recipe to create depression, which can lead to self-loathing, especially if you have a history of it. I do believe there's some PPD going on also.

Can you at least get outside near your home, out in the yard or something? On nice days you can jump rope out there, hula hoop, lift gallon water bottles. Basically get some fresh air. Look up at the sky, notice your beautiful surroundings, talk to God. Take deep breaths. Smile at nothing. No, really, do it now

A change of scenery will do you a world of good. After church, could you walk around the neighborhood with the hub and baby, maybe go to a park and take some sandwiches for a picnic? I know this is all simple and basic, but I really think going and seeing things outside of your 4 walls on a semi-regular basis would help so much.

And downloading exercise videos from youtube is a fabulous idea.Keep reaching out though, it's important and count me in as a buddy you can turn to if you need one.

First, you should definitely listen to the above advice about looking into PPD with your doctor, and therapy to deal with your body image issues would probably also be useful.

Second, you really should cut yourself some slack. You just had a baby! And in 4 months you've lost about half of your total baby weight. That's great! I think Hollywood moms who are back to pre-baby weight within a few months have given normal women crazy ideas about how long it takes to lose the weight. Remember, it took your body 9 months to put on that weight, so you really shouldn't expect to be rid of it in under 9 months. Especially since, assuming you are breast-feeding, your body is holding on to some fat in order to feed your child. However, I realize you're not thinking logically about this issue, so again you should really try to get some help with your body image issues.

Acey, I can relate to how you're feeling. I've been struggling with the self-hatred thing since the 3rd grade (I'm 29 now). Fortunately, in my case it has gotten better over the past 7 years, but it still rears its ugly head on a consistent basis. For instance, after a weekend of drinking, I managed to gain back the two pounds I lost last week and immediately started thinking about how stupid I am, how fat I am, how my boyfriend of 10 years is going to leave me soon, what meals can I start skipping, etc. What I do that helps is remind myself that losing weight is a slow process and that if I really want this, I can and will do it! Just remind yourself that a setback is just that - a setback. It's temporary and can be overcome. Trust me, girl, bulimia is no fun and it will take over your life. You may lose the weight you want to, but you still won't feel good about yourself.

As far as what you can do in your area to exercise, sit down and brainstorm about it. Maybe you can go outside to your yard and run laps? Start stretching, doing leg lifts, lifting gallons of milk, running in place? You'll find something!!

Lastly, you're absolutely beautiful!!! Don't be so harsh with yourself!