I feel like the only guy with an ED

im a 19 5' 7" college student

was a golden child, state swimmer 160 lbs 30 waist, then came to college,

freshman devoped an eating disorder,

became anorexic with a 34 resting bpm but now i am recovering

went from 120 lbs 26 waist oure muscle to 175 lbs 36 waist in 2 months. i need encouaregement advice, help, to lose weight find balandce. i rrecently came back to school with all this weight and people barely recognize me. im seeing a therapist due to the binge eating. anyone else experienced this. i have been put on topimax an anti convulsant but it makes me totally not hungry (or i might jus make myself think i am not hungry). i find myself between two extremes. NOT eating. And consuming everyting in sight. anyone experinced this and can help? 

Hey dude, it sounds like you are on the right track, so dont discourage yet! topamax is know to suppress appetite, that's probably why you are not hungry. however, the anti convulsants usually make you gain a little weight. ( I did when I was on them). When I want to binge eat it is usually because I feel depressed- you know like there is an emtpy hole inside of me, and I just hate myself at that very momment. perhaps it is the same for you too? I have a work book my therapist suggested called mind over mood, and it has been incredibly helpful. you can buy it from any Chapters and I am sure amazon.com would have it too.

perhaps you could drink meal replacement shakes when you are not hungry- then you can atleast get some vitamins and calories. when I am totally full, but want to eat more and more and more I chew gum or brush my teeth or force myself to eat carrot sticks. Of course these don't always work, but they are generall helpful:) keep on trucking you'll get through it.

ciao canary.

Hey, I'm really sorry you've had such a hard year. I'm a girl (and thankfully don't have an ED), but I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. :) Two of my closest friends have been battling eating disorders for the past few years now (one of them anorexic and one bulimic). They are both guys, aged 17 and 19... competitive athletes, insanely smart, and truly wonderful people. ED can strike so hard, so fast, and it's devastating when it does. But, I'm happy to report that one of my friends (the bulimic one) is currently in recovery and despite some initial weight fluctuations, he's been maintaining a healthy (although low) weight for the past few months. My other friend is still struggling, unfortunately, but we try every day to talk him into getting professional help. Although he still refuses help at the current moment, his weight loss has slown down recently and we're crossing our fingers that he'll start seeing a therapist and gaining soon! He'll be so much happier when he does, I think.

I also have experience on the girl's side, as my best friend (a girl, age 16) has been battling both anorexia and bulimia (they switch around a lot) for 6 years now. She's been in remission for about half a year, although I'm afraid she's starting to relapse into bulimia again. My other best friend (almost 17) is a model and recently signed with a new agency which has her working runway a lot. She seems really happy and I know she's ecstatic about the promotion, and I really am truly happy for her, but I'm starting to notice signs that she's slipping into an anorexic mindset, which scares me because she is already at a pretty low weight and would look sickly if she lost anymore, but has been cutting calories down to almost nothing and exercising harder and harder every day.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone, and I'm here if you ever want to talk about anything, since I know what it's like from a friend's perspective which is a bit different than someone who is going through the disorder themself.

Feel better!
Kathryn :)

My heart aches for you.  I haven't posted my story on here but it is very similar to yours, except I am a girl.  I was a cross-country runner in highschool and became interested in getting in shape, fitness, and health.  As I toned up more, I added more exercise and restricted more calories.  I was able to maintain my rigid regiment of exercise and caloric restriction until I moved away and began college.  The summer before my freshman year in college, I contracted mono.  However, this did not stop me from continuing to exercise and restrict and train for cross country on a collegiate level.  Once in college, feeling ill all the time, and struggling with home sickness I began to skip meals and abuse laxatives.  At this point I began uncontrollable binging- using all of my laundry quarters to raid the snack machine.  My roomate accused me of stealing her food (true) and I began to fail my classes.  This abuse of my body finally landed me in the hospital  and I was forced to withdraw from school.  My very supportive parents picked me up and took me back home (12 hours away) and worked very hard to mend me physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

I only tell you this because I want you to know that despite being a boy, you are not alone.  I always felt like I was the only one- and remember sitting in class staring at the other girls and wondering any of them were suffering in silence as I was.  Recovery is possible.  I am now 27 years old, a mother, and a wife.  Its hard work to keep focused but I never thought that I would be healthy enough to finish school, be in a relationship, and have a child.  THe only way to break the cycle is to not restrict!!!  At one point in my life all I ate was lean cuisines and popcorn.  My binging decreased only after intense therapy, medication, and making sure I ate enough calories every day with snacks to prevent becoming overy hungry.  I am not going to lie and say that I never binge- I just don't let it ruin my day and always refocus.  You can do it- don't waste your youth and all of the opportunities out there! 

i am honestly so scared of dropping my classs at this pint. i just started school 2 days ago at ucla. i feel like my only other option is not eating at all. THere are so many times when i think it would be much easier to be anorexic. thanks for the advice though. i wont waste away my youth. i need to focus.

hey.....I'm a 21 y/o male 5'7'' 134ish lbs now who has been battling an ED for several years now that has brought me up and down....I am especially now suffering from it as I am undereating and have been losing and quite hoenstly, am very scared....

TRUST ME you are not alone at all.....if you want to talk just hit me up....

I know how it is with school and everything as you struggle with this too....but please please please just hang in there....

Just thought you may be interested in this website...

http://www.mengetedstoo.co.uk/

As for your original post, I don't think now is the time for you to be focusing on weight loss. Dieting now will bring you back to your ED; you need to be focusing more on eating enough at regular intervals to stop yourself from getting hungry and binging. Restriction and deprivation will keep you in a diet-binge-restrict cycle, so stopping restriction with a meal plan would be a great first step. Eat regular meals and snacks, choose from a wide variety of foods, and include treats so that you don't feel deprived and you learn that they can be a part of a normal diet, instead of just binge food.

Talking to a nutritionist, doctor or therapist about your eating patterns and having them help you find a solution would also be a good idea.

Hi. I have been ip a few times with guys. I understand that you feel alone in your battles but there are ore men that struggle then you think. You can beat this though. It does not have to be all or nothing aka binging or restricting. Do you know why you developed an ed? Besides the weight/food? I am glad you are seeing a therapist and hopefully you can work on those issues and how to cope. Can you see a nutritionist? I have been on meds that either make me not want to eat or make me want to eat. You have to stay focused because part of assisting the meds to work is a fueled body. Can you write a meal plan and stick to it? When one restricts it sets the stage to binge? As for school though it would be hard I know there is always time. Health is number 1. Have you thought of support groups? I went ip in CA and even as a recovering anorexic we went to OA meetings. There were all ed there and men and women. You may want to look in to that.

You're definitely NOT the only guy here with an ED!!! I'm in full recovery right now. I'm 16 years old, 5'7" and 133 lbs. My goal weight is 135 lbs, which will put my BMI at around 21. I'm pretty far into recovery, and have successfully stopped most of my ED related habits. Feel free to message me if you want some support! :)

i have seen the nutritionist and i basically know everything about nutrifying myself, since i was anoreixc and i was into health and calories and stuff like that. i know i sould feed myself frequently with smaller meals. my nutritionist told me the peraon who i should be seeing is my therapist. i eat due to anxiety, much as my anorexia was driven.  would not eat due to anxiety. it is really difficult to distinct between hunger and anxiety so i find myself telling myself that it is only anxiety that is driving my hunger. after a day of no eating i will binge as if i binge after a couple of hours of binging. i am thinking that the only ways to go about this, the only way to win is to restrict my calories as much as i used to and exersize. 

Well what may have fueled my eating disorder was coming to college. I had tryed to become a new person. I pushed myself. i was afraid of failure in all aspects of life, whether it was grades or self image. comments in high schhool such as "be careful about the partying" and "your going to gain freshamn fifteen" stuck to me and i think fueled this disorder. i became a new person. someone who i didnt like. 

I am embararassed to go outside of my room because of what people wil think of me. HOw fat i have become over two months. going from anorexic obsessed health freak to a fat boy. I dont know wha tto do with myself. i dont know what to tell people. people do not even tell me i look better! only those who knew i was anorexic for a fact tell me i look better. others tell me i need to lose weight.

It sounds like you are having a really rough time.  I wish that I could lend more advice, but unfortunately all I have is a sympathetic ear.  You are not alone- I am a member of an "open" dieting community on LJ that allows any / all people, and there are two frequent posters who I recognize by pictures / name that are boys.  Others who post infrequently.

There are many girls who have disorders around this age, as you can probably tell, so you might find a common ground with someone at your college.  I personally wouldn't be afraid to open up.  If the topic of weight comes up while talking to a girl, and she talks about dieting, I definitely wouldn't be afraid to contribute that you've had body image issues as well.  Maybe not get into your life story on the first meeting, but it never hurts to have a friend in the same situation.

ask her to decrease the dose of topimax. or maby try phentermine (probably spelled that wrong) When you go on binge eating what do you eat? maybe try eating things like brocoli, pickles, things high in protien are often more filling longer. I have severe cravings for food sometimes and i eat them because i cant stop myself. I like bk whoppers, and golden corral rolls and salad bar (salad sounds healthy, but if you saw what i put on it...), and taco bell...mmmmm. anyways when i crave these things, i eat a bowl of veggies like brocoli and then get the smallest thing available that i am craving and it works for me.