feeling down-please help

Please help me. I am feeling really lonely, depressed and lost in my life. This has, of course, influenced my eating. Over the past 5, o so yeas, I have really had eating problems. It all started with anorexia. My lowest weight was 84 pounds!!! When I over came it I drastically got to the weight of 170!! This massive weight gain wasn?t at all good. Since then I have been fighting to get down to my ideal weight ? 132pounds. So far ?NOT so good. I have recently had a mix of taking laxatives and binging, and SOMETIMES being sick. But I am still gaining about 3 pounds a week!!! I am becoming really big and am really depressed with this. My mind is cut in half. In the mornings I say ? okay, I am going to eat healthy and only consume 12000cals. Then afternoon comes, and I ALWAYS binge. I try everything I know to stop-walking, cleaning the house, but I cant stop-its like something takes over and everything has to go down.

Today I happened to binge on 1 WHOLE LOAF of bread, 1 WHOLE pack of chocolate spread(300g) and I had other stuff. I am crying inside and cant stand this anymore. I feel my stomach bulging out and it really hurts. I have no peace with myself.

Please help, an advice on anything is much appreciated. I have no one here to talk to and love searching this site for encouragement.

I have recently had a mix of taking laxatives and binging, and SOMETIMES being sick.

You need to seek medical advice.

Please please please go see a doctor!  

Sweetheart, the first thing you need to take care of is the cause of your loneliness and depression. As you said, overeating is a result of not feeling so good about your physical self and living with uncomfortable emotions. I do understand that overeating is a downward spiral in itself, though.. you binge, you gain weight, you feel awful about that, you eat more to make yourself feel better for a moment, you gain yet more weight--it goes on like that for as long as you'll let it. Anyway, I do think that you need to look at the cause of your emotions and attack that. Look, you've already taken one step in posting here and asking for help.. that's admirable. I'll keep checking back to this post.. you remind me of me! Haha :D Much love.

What they said, and also, plan to eat MORE than 1200 calories/day. If you were to eat at 1600 calories, for example, that may help curb some of the binge impulse.

I know exactly how you feel,would love to talk to you.

Thankyou all for your support... but I still feel terrible. But, like pearllillee suggests, I need to go to the root of my trigger. But it is so hard(but what in life is simple??) I will try tomorrow to control my craves, and log on this site and read some posts if i feel the urge coming. I need to learn to love my body, and so myself inorder to find true, and lasting, happines. O_o

Mind is a powerful thing. And you gotta take charge of it. Don't give in. You know that binging is bad, imagine the victory you will feel if you overcome your urge. It is a good feeling that will last and will encourage you to do more. My suggestion is to try find a diet/workout buddy. It helps with motivation and support. You mentioned you are lonely. Sounds like you need companion. This forum is great to share your thoughts and get feedback. So keep posting and don't give up. :)

Yeah, I agree with these guys. I was getting way too far into the binge/purge/starvation thing. It was obsessive. I realized it wasn't food I needed to be worrying about, it was my own mental health. Before this I was the kind of person that would never ever ever consider taking antidepressants, but sometimes you just need them.

Do you work?  Or anything, get out of the house at all?  I know that when I am stuck in the house all the time, it's very difficult to not give in. 

Please, please seek proffesional help. It's nothing to be ashamed of! I've been down the therapy road and thank god for it. I've battled life long depression and the most important thing is to do what you've already done, ask for help. You've taken the first step and asked the members of CC for help which is wonderful. Now you need to ask for more proffesional help to get you to a good place emotionally. You deserve to be happy and whole and don't ever forget it!

Hey I just noticed that you're 19 like me. :) I'm part of an active thread HERE (*clicky clicky*) and we'd love to have you come over to our side of the hood. We have this game that we play sort of like the biggest loser but even better. Come talk to us over there too, suga.

I would seek the help of a counselor, therapist, psychologist or psychiatrist-whatever helps.

It's easy to see that food's not the real issue and their something else going on.

I know how you feel,  though, I've struggled with depression since I was 14. I never really been an emotional eater, but my coping mechanism was cutting. Like food, it's really hard to stop unless you address the real problem.

Good luck!

I have been feeling very depressed too .. not exactly the same problem.. but the way i look... the way people act towards me.... just everything in life is getting to me. i finally gave in and decided that on Friday, I am gonna call a psychologist and talk. I went on www.psychologytoday.com to find someone in the area who has a sliding scale for payment cuz i dont have insurance now. maybe go search and talk to someone =]

Hey there :)  Chin up, lil lady!  Everyone here is accepting of you just as you are.  Whenever you get the urge to binge, come online and join us!  That's what I do. If you can, try to surround yourself with quick and healthy options.  Sometimes I just get an urge to munch.  Instead of chocolate or french fries (two of my favorite foods), I munch on light tostitos and salsa or a spinach salad with light balsamic dressing.  Figure your calorie expenditure with the tools provided on this site, and then give yourself a deficit range. I have my eat meter set to 1300, but I'm satisfied with anything from 1250 to 1700, depending on what I do that day.  If I work out or if I'm cooking on the line or busting my butt, I'll allow myself the upper end of that range.  If I'm just sitting around all day on the computer and watching tv, I'll curb it to 1200 or 1300.

We're all here for you, and we all get in icky moods from time to time and need the support of other people.  This is a very tight-knit online community and we're here to help you.  Like everyone else, I urge you to see a doctor or a counselor.  I'm glad you posted your frustrations on here as a start.

If you need a non-food related picker-upper, head over to youtube and type in your favorite things into the keyword search.  If you don't mind something slightly food-related, go to muffinfilms.com, because it's cute!  If you'd like, we can all pitch in a website or an activity to help cheer you up and keep your mind away from food when you turn to binging.

BTW, I went over to your DA page.  The duck picture is so cute! :)

Try to eat healthy foods consistantly throughout the day, It may help you with the night cravings, and you'll be getting in proper nutrition. To help with the emotional issues I would suggest seeing your Dr. for some help, I did and I am so thankful and feel so much better!

Thank you so much guys? (BIG HUG). I am really lifted up by the response you all gave me. Today is a new day, and even though its only 10 in the morning here, I am feeling good about the day.

In reply to gypy04, I am currently home(live with m mother, but she works all day) most of the day. I plan to go to Japan in about 2 months to visit my father and work over there. So my day is mostly walking my dog, and for November month, I have joined a gym and go about 5-4 times a week for about 1 hour.

I have confronted with myself that my binge foods are high-calorie foods(bread/cereals), and as I am a vegetarian, I think that I am seriously mineral and vitamin deficient. So I plan to make an appointment to my doctors to just get a general health check-up.

Even though most of you recommend that I seek professional help, I am first determined to figure this out by myself. I will try and log my food in CC and try and eat vegetables/fruit and talk more about my feelings when I feel the need to binge. I think it would be best if I eliminate high-calorie foods in the house(breads.. etc.), but its hard, because my mother also needs to eat the foods she likes.

And thanks a lot sparkleriot for the webapages ? they were really a mood lifter!!  

Sarah, that's so weird. I'm a veg and my dangerous food is cereal as well-want to eat the whole box.

Wonder if that's common?