feeling like rubbish

hi everyone hope you are all well

im having a bad day today, i started my eating more yesterday i had 1600 calories and i did 30 minutes normal pace walking, 20 minutes normal pace walking and 30 minutes walking on the spot, but dont know how many calories that burnt, i just feel so terrible today i feel so fat and like ive put on so much weight, i feel like ive put on about half a stone, i avent been able to brill myself to eat anything yet, and to be honest i dont want to eat anything at all but im gona ave something at bout 2 and it will be 150 calories. my belly was so full and swollen yesterday and i had terrible trapped wind and still got it, my belly still hurts. ive got my appointment tomorrow with the eating disorder clinic, hopefully they will be able to tell me how many calories i need each day and give me an idea of what to eat and when, ive lost all touch of what i should eat and what i like.

lucy xxx

If you're not used to eating very much your digestion is going to find it hard work at first.  But don't give up at the first hurdle.  You haven't put on half a stone, it's just a little bit of tummy-ache. Don't stop eating but try to keep those bloated, gassy feelings to a minimum by making sure you're eating 'little and often' (small meals and snacks) and that you're sipping plenty of fluids.  Warm drinks are good.

Good luck tomorrow.

gi-jane is right: your body has to get used to food.  give it easy stuff at first: chicken broth based soups, rice, protein, some veggies and fruits.  not junk!

At first it can be really hard - when the novelty of actually being able to eat again wears thin and you realise that, oh god, you have to face what seems an enormous fear - but this really is the hard part and it gets better - I am not saying that after this is plain sailing, it's not but begin to embrace food for enjoyment and health, maybe look at cooking etc. so you still have some control over what you are eating and feel an achievement from what you have produced in a meal. I find that drinking warm drinks, as has already been suggested, is a good shout as, especially coming into the winter months, they can be soothing and warm you up - I know I can get really cold still now. Don't worry abut how many calories you are burning in a particular exercise at the moment because the most important thing is to try and restore your body's full health and repair any damage which food is a great medicine for!!

Good luck!!!!

thank you for your replys, on top of my 150 calorie lunch i had 2 biscuits at 3.30, but i feel awfull, like i shouldnt have eaten them i feel so so fat, i dont know if i can do this, im feeling very down and emontion today, i keep crying, and im sure the weight has started to come on already, oh god what am im going to do?

lucy

You really can do it.  You did it yesterday & you can do it again.  Don't expect yourself to get it right first time - nobody's perfect - but it was brave of you to make that first move and you should be proud of yourself.  Yesterday was a major triumph and maybe you overdid it a little in your enthusiasm, maybe you frightened yourself with the tummy-ache,  but it was a step in the right direction.    Better nourishment is the only thing that will make you feel emotionally & physically stronger....  and you'll get there.   This is just a small setback.

What you're going to do next is stop crying, stop worrying and go to the appointment tomorrow as planned.  You need help to get back to health and the people you see tomorrow will give you some coping strategies and some expert advice.  Put your trust in them and do your best to follow their advice.  Best of luck.

just keep working.  you can do it.  the discomfort will get better with time.  currently i am eating 4000 calories and i find that these pills my dietition gave me help with the discomfort and bloating.  the pills help move the food through the body faster by creating more enzymes..i think..but anyway your body is getting healthy and the weight you feel like you put on is probably mostly water weight cause your body is rehydrating.  also, when i was in the hospital and had to start gaining weight i was given Ensure drinks.  they are bottles of nutrients and health and made eating less painful.  focus on dense food too it helps with the stomach pain.