feeling very upset!

Hi everyone..this is really just a rant basically but okay.

 there are a few things bothering me lately..my friend is constantly breathing down my throat, checking up on me and what im eating and how im keeping up with my "diet" as if it were her job to moniter me..give it a break please! she always has to ask me questions such as "how many calories is in your meal? you should be eating more shouldnt you?" blahblahblah. Or if i eat some type of junk food she'll say "are you sure you want to eat that? you dont want to get FAT do you?" "Why are you eating that, youre going to get fat!!" its so aggravating but i dont know what to do.

then my father, who i do not really get along with..he always finds a way to make me feel dumb or not good enough. for example, yesterday i tripped on my computer charger while walking down the stairs, and got a pretty bad cut on my arm. he saw me and said "good job moron" being very sarcastic. i didnt say anything back to him and he said again "did that hurt? oh good for ya". I put up with these comments on a daily basis and it really bothers me! then he'll say something else to me like "why eat a salad, youre never going to be thin anyway" or if i wear a nice outfit, he'll say something like "what are you trying to be a model? ha maybe plus size!" Now, I am within the healthy weight range and do not think I'm "fat" [5'2 106lbs], but when he makes comments like this it really brings down my self esteem and makes me second guess myself. It seems as though i cant do anything right. both of these things bother me greatly and i dont know what to do about it.

ugh. sorry this was long..does anyone have some kind of advice on what to do in these situations?

OMGoodness! I hope this doesn't offend you, but your Dad doesn't sound very nice.   That would really hurt my feelings if my father made comments like that to me and it sounds like it does, but you are trying very hard to not let it.  Could you maybe talk with your Mom about his comments? Let me tell you, you are soooo NOT fat, at 5'2 106 lbs!!!! I would be concerned if you weighed less.  I think you are smart to be working to maintain a healthy lifestyle.   I am sure you are very slender.

Regarding your friend always looking over your shoulder . . hm m mm. . .it's tough because I know it is important to keep your friends . . . would you be comfortable having a "heart-to-heart" talk with her about how you are feeling when no one else is around? or would that make you feel too vulnerable? . . .I don't know the exact words for you, but perhaps start off by letting her know you appreciate that she wants to support your healthly lifestyle.  Remind her that now you are a healthy weight while its important that you eat a balanced diet you'll be okay if you splurge and eat "junk" food on occassion.  I often use humor when talking about sensitive subjects . . .for me I would probably lead into a conversation with something like, "it's such a relief to not have to always count every calorie I put in my mouth, it gets old being the food police. . ."

Maybe not the greatest advice, I don't know what you started at but I just hated to hear you sound so discouraged when you are 5'2" and 106 lbs!! which is fantastic! I hope you feel better tomorrow

thankyou for responding so quick :)

and hes not my biological father, but hes been married to my mom ever since i was born..and no it definetly does not offend me, i agree!! My mom doesnt really listen when i tell her, she mostly says "dont let it bother you its nothing, let it go" but its hard to just let it go when its so often!

and actually, i think your idea is great to have a heart to heart with my friend and let her know whats going on. I think im going to try that tomorrow because i will be seeing her for lunch :)

and again thanks for the quick response and support!

No prob! Sometimes it just helps to get some feedback so you know you are right all along. It's too bad your Mom isn't able to help you out, but since it sounds like he isn't going to change and will continue with his unkind comments, I think you need to come up with a little mantra you can just say to yourself when he lets go with one of his zingers . . .not that I want to encourage you to be openly disrespectful to a parent, however it sounds like he is disrespectful to you . . .come up with a little saying that you can think about that will make you feel better . . .make it snarky if it makes you feel better he's not going to hear it! maybe that will help you to not be bothered by his sarcasm.  I honestly don't understand people who make themselves feel better at the expense of others . . .maybe that's why I like animals more than people (well a good portion of the time!)  You keep your head up and good luck with your friend.

I have the same problem. My brothers keep telling me I'm fat and lazy. I'm 5'0 and 100 lbs. Yes I have been slacking off last summer but it's because my legs hurt and I was EXHAUSTED from college..it's none of their buisness really, I'm a bit flabby, DEAL WITH IT. I lost sensation in my feet and I couldn't walk properly so I got the nastiest comments from them, one of them made fun of the way I walk, the other said" Oh you're already handicapped they shouldn't treat you!"

I found out that praying helps me with these situations.

Ignore their comments completely and do NOT show signs of weakness in front of them.

Also try to build up your confidence and be grateful for every little progress you made.

You can add me if you want to talk,

good luck.

Hi I grew up in a very critical family and they were constantaly breaking people around them down. The best way of dealing with this is to realise their critisism of you is a reflection of how they feel about them selves. When they pass a hurtfull comment dont react but just ask them. 'Did you realy mean that nasty comment. Do you know how hurtfull that was.Does that now make you feel good putting me down" It workred wonders. The people passing the comments eventually stopped. You have to be totaly neutral when you reply. DON'T react.

Become a people whisperer.

Your friend  sounds as if she has a problem with her own weight.When she hounds you about what you ate just ask her nicely to talk about something else and do.

Ok first off, at your weight and height you are definitely NOT fat.

Your friend sounds like a toxic friend. If it is at all possible i would gradually try not to hang out w/ her as much. I had a friend like that (who would always put me down when i was actually overweight by bragging about herself) and i felt like it was not worth hanging out w/ her anymore if she was just going to make me feel like crap.

You should have a talk with your father and let him know that his comments really bother you.

But seriously, there is nothing wrong with you. Don't let anyone else bring you down!