Females... The perfect body?

This phrase/idea makes me sick.

To me it seems that maybe the average guy does like the "perfect body" idea that is being drilled into our society. As human beings we get used to what we see and what we are taught. However, you should know that there are also plenty of guys out there that have different tastes and like curves, wider hips, not emaciated, etc. And where the hell did this "perfect body" come from anyway? It is a myth, something only created by media and corporations bent on making money from weight loss and diet pills.

In ancient China a woman's beauty was determined by how small their shoe size was, so they broke the bones in their feet and wrapped them so they could fit into smaller shoes! Ridiculous? I think so! And I don't think it is so much different than today's society. Skinny certainly doesn't mean healthy or in shape, and large definitely doesn't mean unhealthy or out of shape. I've known quite a few women with thicker bodies that were in better shape than your average stick figure.

Don't get me wrong, there is a point where weight loss is a good thing. If it is affecting your health or mobility, it is time to take care of the problem. Yes, it is great to be healthy. Yes, it is great to be in shape. It will make you feel good, more energetic, and more confident. But there is no perfect body!

I'm writing this because I keep hearing women with wide hips or thick thighs say that they wish they could get rid of them. Personally, that is what I like, and somebody else is going to love that about you too! Try thinking outside the box as to what beauty is. Keep yourself in a healthy state, work with what you have and learn to love it, because I guarantee there is a guy out there that will love it too!

You know what Randy, you are so right!  I just kind of stumbled across your post and I am so glad that I read it.  I am one of those women with some curves that can't seem to realize how special/beautiful I am.  I mean I was overweight lets not lie but I do have a man that loves me for who I am on the outside and the inside.  Everytime he would compliment me I was like are you drunk?!  LOL I have lost 25 pounds and I am going for healthy weight not really "stick figure skinny"  most people now a days shoot for.  I think more women should read this! 

Keep on keeping on! 

YOU ROCK RANDY!!!!!

~H~

Couldn't have said it better myself! I am pear shaped with the wider hips and thicker legs & butt and personally, I like my body. I feel feminine and sexy no matter what others may see or think! Besides, true beauty comes from within, no from the outside!

I'm really glad you posted this, with all the recent posts with healthy teenage girls bemoaning how 'fat' they are. It's great to get a reality check sometimes!

Before I lost weight, I was overweight so my thicker legs/bigger butt weren't really attractive, in MY mind...25 pounds later, I'm still larger in the hips-and-below area than I am in the waist-and-above area, but I'm learning to appreciate my 'junk in the trunk'. ;-)

awesome!!

Randy, your post is very kind. I wish more people could and would love themselves even as they make healthier life choices.

Hopefully having such a darling young man as yourself say it will help someone. =)

I definitely agree.

My fiancee LOVES my curves. He is always telling me what a great ass I have and loves my tiny waist. (hence why I am marrying him)

however, over the past year i have gained 20-25lbs and am now, as far as bsi is considered, "slightly overweight". Therefore, to be back in better shape, i am trying to loose that weight. My fiancee, on the other hand, keeps telling me how soft and squeezable i feel. he loves the way i feel and my womanly figure.

Wow, what an amazing post.  I've been large what seems like all my life and to some extent have been content with it.  Up to a point.  But, hubby definitely loves me and my curves.  Besides that, though, I tend to get hit on by certain types of men.  While not all, most of the guys that hit on me are black men, especially men from Africa or some of the islands.  For sure it's a cultural thing to want the curves and whatever comes with it.  But the image here in the US is not that of a curvy woman, really. 

It's getting a lot better and some runway shows are demanding that their female models rate at a certain BMI, at least I think it was BMI.  Basically, they will refuse models that are too skinny and perpetuating the myth that it is healthy.  Besides, most teenagers that see all the skinny models on the covers of magazines and all are completely touched up.  Pimple, no problem.  Underarm fat, gone!  Thighs too big, we'll just slim them down.  Even models aren't perfect enough for magazines.

Thanks Randy.

I agree that we should not focus on what men find attractive. Impossible since they all like something different. We should focus on what makes us healthy, all around.

There are those of us who may feel less womanly because we have lost curves. Not as cuddly for a man but the doctor is raving.

So really, it is all about health.

Well, aren't you a breath of fresh air?  Thanks, we all need to remember perspective.  Attraction and beauty aren't the result of a recipe, or at least not the same recipe.  Beauty comes in many shapes and sizes. 

This was a lovely reminder, thanks Randy.

wow - yeah - i get so angry with the perfect body thing. Personally, I think every woman can look beautiful whatever size they are. I just hate the pressure from all magazines particularly celebrities like victoria beckham. Does anyone else here agree that victoria beckham is just looks fake???? I hear so many girls my age or YOUNGER saying how shes gorgeous and they want to look like her but all i see when i look at her is a skinny, high maintenance, stuck up person who is frankly pretty self obsessed. I dont know her, but from her interviews this is what I gather.

liza413 - im so glad someone put this. Yeah celebrities are AIRBRUSHED people!! i wonder why they are so thin and flawless and tall!

The media is so damaging!

........................and somebody else is going to love that about you too! Try thinking outside the box as to what beauty is. Keep yourself in a healthy state, work with what you have and learn to love it, because I guarantee there is a guy out there that will love it too!

 

thank you SO much for what you said...
i'm a 20 yr. old working my way OUT of anorexia and it really meant a lot to hear this from a male's perspective :) thanks a lot----really--meant more than you may ever know----*

Wow.  It's nice to see a guy post something like this.  Thanks.

For me personally I love my curves, I think they are sexy.   I dont think a stick figure with bones sticking out everywhere is attractive at all.  I think a nice toned body looks awesome. 

I have said so many times that skinny does not equal healthy.  Unfortunatley in our society stick figure models are pushed on us as women and when your young you dont really understand that this is not normal.  I think this is how alot of eating disorders begin.  How else can young teens compete with someone like Lindsey Lohan or whoever.  They dont understand how to be healthy and that being healthy is so much more important than being skinny.  It's truly sad.  There should be more programs out there to teach young women how to really be healthy by counting your calories and exercising regularly.

It also doesn't help that women in my experiance are so hard on themselves.  Why?  I dont know, maybe hormones.  All of us have our "fat days" no matter what size or shape you are.

Original Post by r2r2:

Does anyone else here agree that victoria beckham is just looks fake???? I hear so many girls my age or YOUNGER saying how shes gorgeous and they want to look like her but all i see when i look at her is a skinny, high maintenance, stuck up person who is frankly pretty self obsessed. I dont know her, but from her interviews this is what I gather.

WAIT WAIT WAIT...people want to look like Victoria Beckham?!  I didn't even think Victoria Beckham wanted to look like Victoria Beckham.   She looks way too skinny to be healthy.  The last time I saw pictures of her I was shocked.  I'm pretty sure I could bench press this chick.  If this is what young women strive to be, then society has failed.

I totally agree with everyones posts this message was really warm and it is indeed a very healthy way to think, i too wish that people could feel better about themselves and everyone could accept that it is our difference that make us all special and beautiful.

I just wish everyone felt this way unfortunatly socity doens't, i spent much of my childhood and especially teenage years bieng bullied largely for the way i looked, i wasn't the fat kid i was the opposite, the skinny kid, the girl who looked like a boy and i wish now i'd have people around me who felt the way you do back then.

I'm sure if i had i wouldn't be so hung up on the way i look and although the rational part of me knows im fine the way i am, but the irrational bullied side of my brain still strives for an impoosible goal of perfection,

I'm a heathly wieght shouldn't i be happy??? logically yes, in in truth irrationally no ... and unfortunatly it's the irrational side of my brain that usually wins out ... so here i am a weight many would kill to be, striving to be slimmer.

Seriously people need to drill your words and attitude into girls when they are young so they don't end up like me striving for the unattainable thinking that being perfect is more important than being happy.  

The good news is, nobody's perfect so there's no point trying to reach perfection. You need to feel comfortable with yourself, no matter what your size. Every girl has a fat day every once in a while, but be proud of who you are! I finally got to the point where the only reason I'm losing weight is so that I can comfortably DO stuff. Right now I can't even sit upright in a chair with pants that aren't elastic because the waist cuts into my gut. Once that stops, I think I'll be happy :)

i'm probably going to generate a lot of criticism and hopefully i won't offend too many people when i say the following:

i kind of disagree with you randy. You are right in saying that everyone has a different idea of the perfect body and that skinny is definitely not pretty. But i must say that I personally do not like it when overweight people (who know they are overweight) say that they are proud to be fat or even when very skinny people love the fact that they can see all their bones poking out. there is a huge difference with having actual 'curves' and saying that someone has 'curves' because it is the only politically correct thing to say to someone who has a little extra pudge. It is extremely important that everyone has a healthy body - with no unnecessary fat (and by unnecessary i mean those tiny love handles or whatever, it sounds weird i know) with the right amount of muscle to get by their daily routine, and at a healthy bmi. I personally am not happy with my body even though i am at a healthy bmi (i'm around 23.5 i think - the first step to what i want to look like) but i believe that any extra flab i have or my chunky butt and thighs are not good looking for myself. i do call myself fat and not 'curvy' or 'pleasantly plump'. i would personally love to look like those models or athletes who are not too muscly but look womanly and are not big for their size (think cindy crawford in the 90s type of thing). they to me have the perfect body that i think everyone should strive for - not just to look good and feel good, but to stay alive and healthy for as long as possible.

To be honest, it doesn't matter to me what society, or—and absolutely no offense intended—one man, or a hundred men, have to say about what they like and do not like in a woman. What the OP said was lovely, but ultimately I care about what I like for my body. And what I like is a slender, athletic and hourglass physique. That is why I lost the 19 lbs. to drop to 110. My boyfriend loved my body before, and he loves it now. And don't get me wrong: that's important. Of course you want the people you love to be attracted to you. But it is far more important to me that I am attracted to me, that I feel confident and happy in my skin. I was proud of myself before, proud of the nearly 20 years I have put into weight lifting, cardio and eating right, proud of being stronger than any woman I know. I was proud of looking and feeling younger than I am. And I was proud of having a body in such great shape that it has managed to fight hard against an immune disorder for more than a year. But I confess that despite all of that, I am just a tad more satisfied with myself now that I am hourglass wide instead of mini-pear wide. It's a subtle difference but enough to make me just that little bit more confident in my clothes and my appearance.

That being said? I find women lovely of all shapes and sizes. But I needed to lose some weight to feel that all the time I had put into my health paid off to the maximum, and I honestly don't feel I did it because I was down on myself or didn't feel pretty as I was. I just had a certain look in mind for my body, one I thought would best complement my height and frame and physicality. And with my disease altering my face in ways I noticed—but fortunately only I noticed—every day, I fought my concern over that by deciding to deal once and for all with the little bit of weight I'd always known I could lose if I put my mind to it. Now I like my thinner thighs and slimmer hips, and I plan to keep them that way.

But as I say, I was pretty happy with myself before the weight loss. I've been pretty happy with my body for 18 years, since the day I wandered into the gym and picked up dumbbells for the first time. But I don't doubt for a moment many women are unhappy with their appearance. And I applaud the OP for trying to get them to see the beauty in every woman. I think many women spend most of their lives unhappy with what they see in the mirror, and when they don't see themselves meeting their weight-loss goals no matter how hard they try—because weight loss can be so very difficult—the unhappiness is magnified. If this post helps women to embrace their beauty at all stages of their weight-loss journey, then it has been successful. Because that is more than half the battle, and in fact a lack of confidence can sabotage your every effort to reach your goals.

Original Post by agelades:

But i must say that I personally do not like it when overweight people (who know they are overweight) say that they are proud to be fat or even when very skinny people love the fact that they can see all their bones poking out. there is a huge difference with having actual 'curves' and saying that someone has 'curves' because it is the only politically correct thing to say to someone who has a little extra pudge. It is extremely important that everyone has a healthy body - with no unnecessary fat (and by unnecessary i mean those tiny love handles or whatever, it sounds weird i know) with the right amount of muscle to get by their daily routine, and at a healthy bmi. 

I actually think he addressed that. The point is, HEALTHY is sexy.

I read all these posts about teenagers my height wanting to be <100 pounds giving the excuse that it's a "healthy" weight for their age, but really they are just attempting to defy their bodies' comfort. At 118 I'm happier with my body now than I ever was before, because I'm the HEALTHIEST I've ever been (:

Original Post by liza413:

 Even models aren't perfect enough for magazines.

That is the most en pointe remark I've heard in a long time!  Great original post and great discussion thereafter.  What a great thread!