Where do you find your will power?

I just can't seem to be consistent on a diet - I have no will power.  For those of you who have lost the weight how did you get the will power to stay on track?  I can do good for about a day and then I have a bad day at work or someone will ask me out to eat and it's all over with.   I need to find a way to not let these things sidetrack me.

I chose not to rely on willpower (which is finite) but instead went down the route of preparation, organisation and a hefty dose of honest-to-god reality-checking.

The preparation and organisation included having my menu mapped out for the week ahead, getting the shopping in for my healthy meals, not buying things I didn't want to eat..... keeping things varied and interesting. That way, no matter how bad a day I'd had, the food was already pre-determined, attractive and there was no junk in the cupboards to indulge in anyway! That sorted out 90% of my diet.

The 'reality-checking' came in for the social occasions etc. It was literally a case of understanding a) there will be more food around and b) if I really want to be slimmer I'll have to be a bit more grown up and not act like a spoilt kid in a sweetshop!

The rest ultimately came down to 'habit'.... Once you make changes, if you stick to your guns for three, four or six weeks it becomes a habit. Then it gets a lot, lot easier....

For me the realization was that I didn't want to die young. I didn't want bad knees. I didn't want to be unhealthy anymore. It's my focus. When I want to eat something, I ask myself what good things it will do for my body. If the answer is 'none' then I pass. My goal everyday is to be healthy that day and I try not to let the day before or after have any effect.

Honestly, the first week is the toughest, IMO. If you can push through that, you'll begin to notice your taste buds acclimate to healthier foods and shy away from unhealthier ones. And once you have that base, it seems like more of a loss to 'get off track.' So commit to one good week. What's a week? It's nothing. After the week, reassess. Notice how your body feels, your energy level, your mood. Chances are committing to another week, or even a lifestyle change, will seem like a much easier decision.

One more thing. A lot of people don't eat the healthiest possible thing all of the time, but small changes add up. Instead of a bagel and cream cheese for breakfast, I eat wasa crackers with cream cheese. Have a healthier option at the restaurant and tell yourself that even if you went 'over' your calories, you're diet isn't over, or even restarting, tomorrow you'll do better. Small changes, small goals. Thats what works for me : )

Bottom line, you will get sidetracked, and its just learning how to deal with it. As Gi-Jane said, just keep planning. And I doubt very much that you don't have any will power, I'm sure you have accomplished many things in your life, so don't put yourself down and say you have no will power. You may just need to work on your relationship with food.

I agree with all the previous posters.

Gi-jane is right when she says preparation is key. I don't keep large portions in my house of things I should only consume in small portions (eg, chocolate). I make a big effort to always have enough fresh produce and ingredients on hand so that I can whip up a delicious, healthy meal in 10 minutes.

I also agree with mind_spk that small changes add up. You don't have to throw yourself totally out of your comfort zone in one go if that's never going to work for you (although it might work better for others). Make small changes that you can stick with; once they become habits, make more good changes. Similarly make small goals - celebrate every 5lbs you lose, for instance, instead of focusing on the big picture. It's far more motivating!

Some good first goals would be trying to eat 5+ portions of fruit and vegetables every day, regardless of what else you eat. Or cutting out soda, or reducing how much you drink. Or organising yourself to go on a weekly shopping trip to buy healthy foods (take a list and stick to it). Or deciding to go for a walk every day after dinner. Make changes that fit into your lifestyle, things that you can accomodate.

Another thing is, you have to change your mindset. I eat healthily but it has nothing to do with willpower: I eat well because I love healthy food, because it gives me far more energy, and because it's so good for my health. Eating less to lose weight does not have to mean that you're always hungry, or that your food is bland and boring. If you don't already cook, here's a great time to start. If you do, find ways to lighten up your recipes and serve yourself smaller portions (but add more veges so you'll still be full). And allow yourself a treat every now and then, or your favourite dinner, or dessert. You don't have to give up things you like, just develop a sense of moderation.

Don't think of it as a diet you have to have willpower to stick to, think of it as a lifetsyle change that will bring you so many benefits. You'll have more energy, your clothes will fit looser, your skin and hair might look better, you might have more confidence. Do things that make your new lifestyle fun - try out a new fruit or vegetable every so often; learn to cook or take a healthy cooking class; find activities you love like walking, swimming, yoga, rock-climbing, kick-boxing, kayaking, hiking, cycling... if you think positive about the changes you're making and begin to enjoy your new lifestyle, you might find you have no reason to go back to how you were before.

Good luck! :)

For me, it's all about distraction. Have you ever seen the Dog Whisperer with Cesar Millan? Well, every time he's around a dog that is obsessed about something--barking a  lot, attacking something, etc., Cesar pokes the dog in the side and makes this 'pssst!' sound.  The dog usually gets distracted and forgets what he was obsessing over and calms the eff down.

I feel I'm a lot like that, and that I need a (metaphorical) Cesar around. So when I find myself overwhelmed with cravings I can't kick, or turning unconrollably towards bad food choices and non-exercise when I've had a bad day, I try to find something that will be like a mental poke in my side: pssst!

Thinking about my bills and money (for me) does it. Listening to NPR (strangely) does it. Doing a sudoku puzzle. Calling a friend who I can gossip with. Writing in my journal. Logging on here and reading the forums, etc. These are all pretty silly things, and they may not work for you. But I just wanted to point out that distractions are key for me. Maybe they will work for you, too?

I'm very out going and i got very out going friends. No matter what, we are still up for a coffee, dinner, lunch, brunch.

After I started my diet, i was so scared that this habit would destroy all the motivation. But then I saw that it was in my hands to make reasonable choices which affect my goal in short term or leng term. I explained this issue to my friends. lucky me, they really help me through this.

When we go for brunch, i eat veggies, fruits. When we are out for dinner, i have soup and a big bowl of salad sometimes with chicken in it. And before every meal i drink one glass of water which fill me enough so i don't overeat. And I really enjoy it. When we go out for coffee, the first week i went for sugar free tea which was not tasty but now i order a cappuccino with skim milk which i would never ever think i would drink it without sugar but now i drink it without sugar and i enjoy it a lot.

 

And no matter what, I PLAN. Before i go out, i plan what to consume. That's so important. If i have to check the menus of the restaurants online, i do it.

 

I make lil choices but in 13 days i lost over 9 lbs.  :)

After reading everyone's posts, it sounds like planning is key.

I went looking, and I found mine in the closet next to my running shoes and hand weights.

*giggle*

Planning is definately the key.  One of the best things I did was try to figure out my "triggers" and make a plan for those occassions. 

Dining out is always more difficult.  If you can control where you go you can look up menus ahead of time and choose something before you even arrive.  If you can not control where you go do your best to make a healthy choice and ask for a take out box with your meal.  Immediately divide the meal into 1/2.  Put half in the box and just eat what remains on your plate.

In my office we are always having cake.  I know we will have cake 3-4 times a month.  I keep yogurt in the fidge at work so that on these days I can celebrate with the crew without diving into the cake. 

BUT - I do let myself have cake sometimes.  If you try to deny everything you love it ususally backfires on you at some point.  So plan treats in to your diet too.  I find that if I conciously choose to have "the bad stuff' it is not so attractive when a invitation to eat outside of my plan pops up.

I did that for the first time last week at work.  A co-worker and I went out to lunch and picked the culinary institute of all places.  If you've been there you know what type of deserts they have, incredible!  Anyway pulled the menu up online and knew what I was going to order before I got there.  Even though my brain was fixated on the desert display case I somehow forced out the order that I planned before I got there and was able to stick to my diet that day.  It's a constant struggle though, I hope it gets easier in time.  I haven't been at this long.

Original Post by chocorific:

I went looking, and I found mine in the closet next to my running shoes and hand weights.

*giggle*

 Your key's easier to find than mine!

Mine is in my top drawer... I bought my first bikini in ten years..... soooooo I have to keep will power to be able to wear it.

often i think is it 'worth' the amount of exercise time.

phyllisjd-they were all pretty dusty when I finally found them.

Maybe I should pin my willpower to the fridge so I don't misplace it again...hehehe.

If you really really want to lose weight, u will find the will power to do so.  I am sure with the help of this website, groups, friends u will do it.  We will help u , i.e. if u truly want to.

to reiterate everything above...the key is planning and small changes.  I find that if I PLAN to allow myself the ability to have something "bad" every so often it keeps my body satisfied.  Work gradually...slow and steady wins the weight-loss race :)

When I first started out I would put postie notes up that read;  " Never give up what you want Most for what you want at the Moment."   &  " If you want it, you'll find a way.  If not, you will find an excuse."

 

I'd put them on my bathroom mirror, cupboards, fridge, pantry.  I had even taped "Never give up what you want Most for what you want at the Moment" to a few boxes of my favorite goodies like ice cream, chocolate, insert whim here...