Your fine as you are...

Isnt it so annoying when people say to you 'your fine as you are'. Who wants to be fine/ I what to be great. I was 10lbs lighter and looked and felt much better, and still was aiming to lose 5lbs more. It wasnt only me that noticed the improvement, all my friends and family complimented. Now ive gained the weight back and desperately trying to lose it again, however if i make a comment about dieting or losing weight everyones like 'your fine'. Please stop telling me that.

Sorry just had to rant, im sure youve all experienced the same

I totally know what you're saying!! It's like thanks but that really doesn't help... no one says 'well, you have piled on the pounds this summer' or whatever... soo annoying a total deflation too!

I just read your bio and was wondering exactly what did you do for the lemonade cleasing diet?

oh im scared to mention the lemonade thing on here, theres a few people who will scream and shout. take a look at the old forums, i did it in Nov or Dec last year and loved it, and ive posted a few things. unfortuantely gained the weight back from lack of exercise and eating out to often. tried to do the master cleanse again but having troble getting back into it, for some reason i just cant get past day 2.

It annoys me as well. I know I am fine as I am at 106 lbs, I was also fine as I was at 116 lbs, and I was fine as I was at 96 lbs. My goal now is to be fit and stay fit! What does it matter whether someone else thinks I am fine as I am if I know I can barely do a pushup? I see a lot of room for improvement in myself, and that's my prerogative as an adult.

funny thing is at 130lbs if id said i was going to gain 10lbs everyone would have screamed no! But people just think how you are at that moment, is who you are, and you are vain to want to be better, even if it means just being back to how you were. i know as soon as i lose the weight they all agree i look better. I live in Dubai so spend a lot of time on the beach and at the pool, and its funny the guys always check out the girls with the very slim toned bodies, yet supposedly its not that important.. yeah right.

exactly!! if any of those quite healthy and fit girls (who are much more commonplace than people seem to think on these forums) posted on here then everyone would rant about how they need to gain weight, they must not eat enough, etc. etc. WTF? someone's gotta be a size 0, lol

let's see:

"you are fine as you are"

"you don't need to be too thin"

"you shouldn't try to be perfect"

yes, they all annoy me lol

 

But what's the alternative to saying 'you're fine as you are'?  I mean .... "Oh my goodness yes, someone as fat as you really does need to lose weight!".....  is going to lose you a lot of friends. 

There's a lovely (slim) woman I meet quite often as part of my work and every time she tells me of the latest whacky diet she's doing to lose weight.  And frankly, she's been 15lbs lighter and 15lbs heavier so often it's getting a little wearing. So when she tells me she's planning to eat boiled eggs and grapefruit for a fortnight... again... I admit I say to her 'you're fine as you are'.   

oooh another one my mum loves: 'Be careful as weight loss can be adictive and you won't know when to stop...'

I'm overweight mum... I'm not anorexic!!

They all say that you are fine as you are because you are. i think you are hot.

also a little fact here for women who think that they are ugly because they are a litte fat 80% of men like it when there girls have a little fat on them i makes them sexier

Those are bad.  But now that I'm down to my goal/healthy weight, last week I heard, "Oh, you're too thin.  Maybe you should gain some back."  Yeah....., thanks.

There's a lady at my work who used to be big and had the gastro surgery.

She tells me that I am "one of those girls" the "ones that she hated when she was big" that complain about being fat when they are skinny...

 

Ugh

I'm like yeah, and if you would have seen me twenty pounds ago, you'd agree... I'd like to NOT need the surgery thank you

we have just about the same stats. im 5'7 138. altho i must admit, you have more of an hourglass shaped figure, im more of a pair.  i have not been in the 130's FOR years, unfortunately my boobs are just barely there since i've lost weight.  but i know exactly what you mean. i do actually look just fine, i look ok in most clothes. however, i am not getting any younger and i want to look GREAT! i dont think i have unreasonable goals. im not trying to look like somebody else, just the best i can be. i've never been really toned & i love seeing some muscles and being firm.

the only thing i can suggest as gi-jane kind of pointed out, is to just not talk about it with anyone. if you need to mention it, just limit it to once and awhile & to only people you know will be supportive. if you dont mention it, maybe just mention to the people in your life that you are just being healthy & they don't need to discuss it with you.

I totally agree with you! I read your bio and it's amazing how similar our stats are! I was born the same year, same height, was at about 145 until I graduated in June. I lost ten pounds from May 2008 by mid June. And yes, everybody who weighed more than me kept telling me that I was too skinny already and some kept observing my habits and wondering if I was anorexic. I'm not and I could never be, I love food too much. Well, I'm 130 now and I haven't lost anymore for a month or so. I'm lazy too, it takes some major guilt about over indulging to get me moving. I want to get down to 120-125 also.

That's nothing!My friends tonight ganged up and accused me of what?Having a good healthy nutrition!Not even diet!This is so ridiculous!Just because YOU dont' care about what you put in your mouth,doesn't mean I don't too!And just because you think I'm fine,it doesn't mean that I should stop taking care of myself and pay attention to my diet.

if I gain 5 lbs, my mom starts asking me "Have you been eating a lot of fried food?" "You've put on some, it must be from beer" "Why are you eating that snack?"

But of course if I lose the 5 lbs or even turn down seconds at a meal, she doesn't stop commenting on my "starving" and "dieting."

I'm already plenty self-conscious! I don't need to hear it!

I mean the day our bones start showing through our clothes is the day they need to worry!! Another thing I hate when I'm on a diet is my fiance telling me what I can and can't eat... he always eats rubbish infront of me too like chocolate and ice cream... grrrr!!!

Original Post by gi-jane:

 So when she tells me she's planning to eat boiled eggs and grapefruit for a fortnight... again... I admit I say to her 'you're fine as you are'.   

But that's a case of someone who is going to extremes.

I've changed my entire diet over 2 yrs ago. I do not eat red meat, white bread (pasta or rice), sweets, junk food, etc...and I certainly don't need someone who is more "corpolent" than me to tell me that "i'm fine". I'm at a normal weight, yes, but one should always strive to do better [as long as it's healthy]. And trust me, I'm sick of explaining ppl that even when you are stick think you SHOULD eat healthy and work out.

That's when I hate to hear those "you are fine as you are" comments; b/c I'm neither fat or skinny; I'm just normal

It's actually more the misery she puts herself through that I'm suggesting she doesn't bother with.  Her 'boiled eggs and grapefruit' diet is accompanied, I'm sure, by other foods.  But she's not happy until she's lost the extra pounds, working out at the gym etc., only to regain it all a month or two later.  When she's unhappy again.....

So she spends her whole life being unhappy... either on a diet and losing weight or off a diet and putting on weight.  For a couple of days, when the scales say the right thing, she's briefly happy.  If she simply had a healthy lifestyle and could reconcile being 7lbs heavier than some mythical ideal I think she'd be a whole lot more content with life.  And she'd stop bending my ear about it....

Original Post by gi-jane:

It's actually more the misery she puts herself through that I'm suggesting she doesn't bother with. Her 'boiled eggs and grapefruit' diet is accompanied, I'm sure, by other foods. But she's not happy until she's lost the extra pounds, working out at the gym etc., only to regain it all a month or two later. When she's unhappy again.....

So she spends her whole life being unhappy... either on a diet and losing weight or off a diet and putting on weight. For a couple of days, when the scales say the right thing, she's briefly happy. If she simply had a healthy lifestyle and could reconcile being 7lbs heavier than some mythical ideal I think she'd be a whole lot more content with life. And she'd stop bending my ear about it....

maybe you'll just have to tell her to shut it! and maybe you've given her too good of advice before, so now she thinks that she has to involve you in her own personal drama. there are some friends out there like that, only if its not about their weight, its their love life or what.

actually when i was a teenager, i did that to a friend about some boyfriend. she told me to stop & i did. i also learned to not do that again to any friends. now your friend might be older & harder to break her out of the habit. there's a difference between being a friend & lending an ear, than being someone's journal that they whinge to.