Your fine they way you are...

Please please will everyone stop telling me im fine as i am, and that curves are sexy. Ive always been slim at 140lbs 5'7 but very curvy hips and bum, ive always felt flabby compared to friends and finally lost 10lbs at christmas. So so many compliments from friends and people i hadnt seen in a while. However now the weight has gone back on and my dieting is meet with disapproval from everyone who keep telling me im fine. Fine is ok, but i dont want to be ok, i want to feel good about myself. When i lost 10lbs i looked and felt better and everyone agreed, so why now do they keep saying that i shouldnt lose. isnt that really really annoying when people dont support you but instead act like you are being vain.

I always think its jealousy.  The other side of that is that some of your closest friends and family may not want to see you struggle to lose weight. for some people the process of losing weight can be painful...as in VERY restrictive diet. 

It could be their way of saying..hone you don't have to restrict yourself to diet food. 

I don't diet.  I have been counting calories and most everyone doesn't even notice because I eat what they do...just not more than 1 or 2 servings. 

 

Denise

ah! I SO sympathize with you! On the one hand, I KNOW you do look good! I think there's something really great a/b being 5'7, b/c I do feel like we can carry weight pretty well for this certain height. But yea. It's def annoying. I put on almost 16 pounds in ONE YEAR! Given I started out underweight and I think my body was finally going through puberty (I'm 20 now:P), but now I want to lose the extra 10 I put on and the comments, rolls of the eyes, it makes you feel like a freak! I so sympathize, but sadly ughhh it almost is a lot of jealousy and I also think people may believe you truly have a problem which is the most frustrating. But don't forget, no matter what we do look good so if I focus on the eating and working out, not the weight, we'll get there:)

I know just how you feel.  I too am 5'7" and weight 140.  A couple years ago I lost 10 pounds and got to my goal weight of 130.  I have never felt more confident and better about my body.  I too am very curvy with 41" hips and a 26" waist.  I don't mind being curvy, but I looked so much better at 130 than I do know.  I have been struggling to get back there and I just can't seem to break 136.

Ignore what these people are saying.  You would not be unheathly at 130.  People get annoyed at me when I diet and say the same things.  But you won't be happy in life and relationships unless you are first happy with yourself.

Yeah, I get this.  I'm 173 at the moment, but because of my build, I'm quite busty and have good legs, and the way I dress enables me to hide my shame belly.  This means that I get a lot of compliments and I get checked out by guys and girls quite a bit.  So when I tell people that I'm lost some and am losing more, I get a lot of people telling me I shouldn't.  I realise that I am attractive as I am, and that, from a looks point of view, I don't need to lose weight, but I am overweight, and I have the sort of fat distribution that is associated with diabetes and heart disease.  Also, I enjoy climbing and hill walking, both of which are more difficult when you're carrying 30-40lbs more than you need.

So yeah, whilst I appreciate being told that I look fine the way I am, that's not the reason I'm losing weight, and if I'm getting this many comments already, I can't wait to see what people say when I've reached my goal.

Original Post by weddingmama:

I always think its jealousy.  The other side of that is that some of your closest friends and family may not want to see you struggle to lose weight. for some people the process of losing weight can be painful...as in VERY restrictive diet. 

 Why does everyone default to jealousy? NO, they are most likely NOT jealous so get that out of your head.

It's human nature to avoid change, which means when one of my friends changes something, I perceive it as a change in my little world and I don't like that. Most people don't.

I'm going to have to agree with the second have of that statement; 140 at 5'7" is a fine weight and you probably are perceived as looking good. I'm not saying don't lose the few lbs if you feel better that way, so don't take it that way. Nor am I jealous for the record. I don't think you're being vain, and I'm not sure why anyone would think that. If I were you, though, I'd just stop talking about it all together. If you're not talking about it, it's really not up for discussion now is it?

If people are questioning your actions like "why are you eating that, are you on another diet?" or "Christ stop working out so much you look fine", you can choose to ignore those comments or brush them off.  Once you do that, it's like training a dog. When people don't get the reaction they are looking for (you defending yourself or you changing what you're doing), they will stop.

Well I go through this too and I think what she is trying to say is that ppl don't respect your wishes to be on a diet when you are out together. When visitng my inlaws, (who are all heavy), everything in the fridge is full fat, every meal cooked is greasy or deep fried and when I do bring in a box of oatmeal from my car or go buy fruit and yogurt they laugh at me almost as if to imply that I have a eating disorder. It's bothersome!!!! Friends do the exact same. Why can't anybody just respect that I care what I put into my body and quit making it a weight issue? And who's to say they are not jealous? Until you are the one getting harrassed about your lifestyle you dont know how old it gets. I def know what she's feeling here!

I COMPLETELY agree! I go to a boarding high school (THE WORST PLACE FOR DIETING)... everyone talks behind your back if you miss one meal because we all eat at the same place at the same time... people are always accusing one another of eating disorders. Whenever I go to the gym people stare at me or say something like "wow, I feel like you're ALWAYS working out". But secretly they think you want to be skinny. It's so annoying that I can't do what I want to do in peace. When I get on the scale in the gym there's always a couple people saying something like "Wow! 136... that's nothing. Why do you even weigh yourself?" I want to scream at them! I wish people could just let one another get fit and eat well without having to deal with added stress of social crap... I hate feeling like I'm being "unhealthy" because other people make it seem that way because all I'm really doing is creating a healthier, happier me with a stronger heart and lower cholesterol so that I can live longer and do the things I love longer. 

ledouxgl,

I agree with you. They ARE jealous and affraid that you will get thin and they don't want you thin. I tell ppl who say this "I'm not necessarily trying to lose weight, I just want to be fit and heart healthy." It usually shuts them up because who can knock you for wanting to be healthy.

Well, my theory is that America (UK is second :D) has gone so obese - I mean we are by far the fattest people in the world that's it's becoming more acceptable to be on the thicker side :D  I say if you're comfortable being the way you are don't change a thing if not then do something about it - you shouldn't listen to what others tell you what's right for you.  As long as you're healthy don't worry about it - curves attract a lot of guys :D

Reference: http://www.reuters.com/article/lifestyleMolt/ idUSL0778048620070807