fluctuation--i'm scared!

Hi all!

I'm 20, 5' 6.5", and my lowest weight was 93 in April. My goal weight is 120. The highest I ever weighed in my life was 130, after 2 years of college life (AKA alcohol haha) I gained very quickly in the first few weeks of recovery and got up to 105 pounds--or so I thought. Now I weighed myself this morning and it was only 102.6! I am a little concerned! I haven't been counting calories, but I feel like I'm certainly eating plenty! (As in, went to visit my college friends this weekend and had pizza, hot dog, dunkin donuts boston cream donut, etc etc plus I feel like the majority of my days at home are spent snacking!)

Is my metabolism just speeding up? Do I need to be eating TONS of calories? I don't like to count because I find that it scares my "evil" ED voice and makes me feel guilty. But I eat an ice cream sundae every night, plus I drink at least one Ensure a day along with tons of healthy, balanced meals and snacks. I am semi-active (walking, laundry, yoga, and some light weights that my doc recommended), but I'm just afraid that my metabolism is never going to even out. 

Does anyone who is a similar height/weight have any suggestions?

There could be a lot of reasons why so a few things to look at. Since you don't count calories what you may feel is enough may not be. Calorie needs can be very high and though it is great you are having ensure and ice cream if the rest of the day is not adequate then the weight gain will not happen. Also since you are more active then a lot in weight gain you need to look at that as well. Many times people do go hyperbolic as well. You said you gained quick at first and I am think a lot may have been water so that may be some of the reason why you are at a lower weight. Since you still need to gain quiet a bit I would look apossibly keep track for a few days and then make additions if the trend is not up or you thought you were eating more then you are