what food are you scared of?

this could be triggering but like i said in another post i am trying to keep myself busy so i dont freak out so ...

I have been recovering for 4months, real recovery 3:) but there are some foods i got over and some which i just cannot stop being fearful of and not the the obvious ones, like candy bars, pastrys and butter.

my ? is, what ridiculous foods are you still scared of and what did you get over?

I am scared of, sandwiches, juice, egg yellows, dried fruit, cream sauce, and cheese on anything if i dont put it on myself. i got over chicken, bananas,  peanut butter, cookies, cake,even used real mayo the other day,i still think about them but i allow myself them,  but not these things. and the sandwich thing is more of an ed habit i like to have everything separate.

what are you scared of?

its not going to bite you back

Well, there are many foods that I used to be "scared" of, but now I've gotten over them. Here's a list of all the ones I can think of...

"Scary" Foods - Fruit juices, dried fruits, nuts, nut butters, cheese and any dairy product that wasn't fat-free (I still use skim milk and nonfat yogurt out of preference, but I'd NEVER touch "fat-free" cheese again), any dish that I didn't prepare or know the ingredients of, salmon (because of the fats - I love salmon now!), bananas, potatoes, any bread except "Light" 30-calorie slices, any real sweetners (maple syrup, honey, molasses)... I'd only use Splenda, granolas, pasta, rice, and any kind of pizza.

Wow. That's quite a list considering I eat most of those foods almost daily now!

Whatever you are scared of, one big part of recovery is to tackle them. I love agru's wording, though! That made me giggle.

So do list them, but take the next step and EAT them too. It's good to see you've tackled some already, now keep going! :]

I probably shouldn't be posting in this forum because I don't need to gain weight, but I DO have a long list of what foods I'm scared to eat

~any fruit juice, cookies, doughnuts, pies, cakes (ANY baked good for that matter)soups and stews, bread, cereal (other than fiber one), white/sweet potatoes, salmon (also for the calorie/fat content), tuna, chicken, beef, candy, real sugar, Cheese, milk, butter/shortening, nuts, peanut butter, pre-packaged foods, pastas, fast food (chinese food, pizza, hamburgers, french fries, food in restaurants), carrots, grapes, honey, bananas, beans of any kind, anything with any gram of fat or sugar in it, non-diet soda, gum with sugar in it, mangoes, papaya, oranges, pineapple, apricots, nectarines, plums (pretty much ANY fruit that wasn't apples), seeds, olives, olive oil, ANY oil,  corn, peas, popcorn, 1 serving of ANYTHING (I'd always half or quarter it)...

You know, it's just easy to write down what food DIDN'T scare me. but some of these foods still stand, and I doubt I'll ever get over them. 

When I was at my most restrictive, I was basically afraid of everything except chicken, turkey (only ever white meat), tuna fish, morningstar chik patties, and fruits and vegetables.  Someone mentioned to me about how fruits and vegetables have lots of sugar not long before I started getting help, so they probably would've ended up next on my list.  Ugh..

*sigh* I'm so glad that I've learned how essential carbohydrates and fats are, but I'm still relatively restrictive.  I'm not, by any means trying to trigger anyone by sharing this, and I'm not saying that anyone NEEDS TO eat this way, but I (or ED) eat no deserts or candy except 100 calories or less of dark chocolate after dinner on race days (like a reward, I suppose), I still measure out alot of my foods (cereal, beans, sweet potatoes, cottage cheese, broccoli, etc) with a half cup, I still use measuring spoons (peanut butter, parmesean cheese, bee pollen), I avoid simple carbs, enriched or white flour, hydrogenated vegetable oils, sat/trans fats, all of the top 12 worst preservatives and food additives (High-Fructose Corn Syrup, Aspartame, Mono-Sodium-Glutamate, Sodium Nitrate, etc.) like the plague,  I get anxious if I can see, taste or smell oil or butter on anything, and I don't eat more than 4 pieces of bread or 1 oz. of cheese a day. 

Obviously, I still have a hard time trusting myself to just eat, and I know that I simply restrict foods to feel "safe."  I don't, however, feel as if I'm depriving myself because, from my understanding, the things I restrict are unneccessary and quite unhealthy in the first place (well I know the human body needs SOME simple carbs and sat fats, but complex carbs and unsaturated fats are better).  I guess my problem is moderation.  I ts like my head tells me that if something is not healthy to have all the time, then it is not allowed to be eaten at all.  I'm not worried about being this anxious about food forever though because I've already come so far, and I'm not going to give up on recovery and give into ED again.

Anyway, I'm going to stop rambling now, but good luck to all of you who are still recovering.  

(Oh yeah, just a suggestion to those of you who still have fears of foods, one of the best ways, it has been for me at least, to get over the fear is to challenge your ED by eating it; remember that the more you fight ED, the stronger YOU will become----mentally and physically.) 

Kidney beans.

They're just wrong.

I consider myself fully recovered, however, I still refuse to keep any nut butters or cereals in my apartment.

This post made me so sad.  Not because I feel sorry for anybody, but because we all feel food has such control over us vs the control we have over ourselves.  I wish for you all (and myself) Nobody or No Food is in  control of our life.  Eat what feels right and we control the right amount,  Taking control is very impowering.

fear foods need to be overcome... i challange you to do one a day... it has been so freeing for me.

a trigger food is different.  for instance, i will NOT do chocolate... i cant it is a drug for me and will tailspin me into a binge and into drug use.

but i was scared of olive oil, butter, bread, carbs, chips, snacks, popcorn, cakes, ice creams, pretty much everything yummy or with any fat.... it is amazing to have these things back in my life.

i am a happier person when i can eat what i am in the mood for!

once they are no longer fears you are free.

Some of my fear foods:

- Nuts, which I still have not brought back. If there is something with nuts in it, I don't care how few, I just still cannot bring myself to eat it.

- Nut Butters. I have managed to bring back No-Salt-Added Natural Peanut Butter, but I have to have my mom ration it out to me, and then hide the jar, because it is not only a fear food, but a "trigger" if I eat too much of it. Being vegan, it is a prime source of protein, which I need, and that is the real reason why I worked so hard to bring it back.

- Any kind of oil or dairy-free butter/margarines. I still avoid them.

- Grains in general. I cut out breads, crackers, cereals, pasta, rice, oatmeal, everything I considered to be a "grain-carb". I have managed to reintroduce a couple of healthy cereals (like puffed wheat), brown rice, and oatmeal, but I eat still struggle to eat them regularly. As far as bread is concerned, enriched white bread was the main culprit in my fear of breads, but after I cut it out, I cut out every other kind of bread. I've managed to bring back bread in the form of Ezekiel 4:9 products, which are sprouted and cooked at very low temperatures to help preserve precious enzymes. I think it should be a real staple in any recovering anoretic's diet because it's higher in calories than most breads as well, and can probably be considered one of those "high cal, low density foods". Not only is it insanely healthy, but I also feel better knowing that since it is sprouted, it doesn't digest like other breads, but, instead, digests as a vegetable, which makes it easier for me to eat without guilt. It's been an incredible blessing in my experience. **The only Ezekiel product I have yet to try as a reintroduction is their pasta, I still can't make myself eat pasta, even if it's sprouted.**

- Vegan mayo/sour cream/cream cheese. I still can't do them.

- Anything FRIED, especially potato chips. I initially cut them out because they started making me sick, although I had the really bad habit of sniffing potato chip bags after I cut them out until I got the insane idea that I wasn't losing weight because I was doing so, so I stopped doing that out of my irrational fear. To this day, I still will not touch anything friend. Of all of the foods I've blacklisted, I think this will be the hardest for me to get over, if I ever do.

- Soda or other drinks containing sugar (like juices and sweetened teas). Cutting all of this out did me really well in that I started drinking hot, herbal teas with wonderful benefits, but did me just as bad because I also developed a severe diet soda addiction, which I'm still trying to break. I still don't drink sugary drinks.

- Anything sweet that I considered to be an "indulgence" (candies, cakes, soy ice creams, pastries, etc), etc. etc. etc. I'm hoping that I can make a breakthrough with this on my birthday, which is the last day of November. For the first time in 8 years, I want to be able to have a slice of vegan birthday cake, complete with a scoop of soy mocha fudge ice cream (I've been eyeing it forever), but I'll admit that that's a lot to ask for at this point.

Im actually scared of anything I dont know what's in it. Something that looks greasy, or like it could hold a tonne of fat in a spoonful. Also, all restaurants that dont offer nutritional info of their foods just scare me to death. Like chinese. Once my mom said that we're going to eat at chinese tonight, I really started to cry. Good that I have got at least a bit better from those times...

I would rather eat a Big Mac with big fries than a small burger from the local grill - just because I know how many cals are in a Big Mac and fries but who know what the small burger from the grill wagon can have within. After seeing all these "horror stories" about restaurant meals that look innocent and dont even taste good, which have like 1500 calories, I cant trust restaurants.

- All sauces save for ketchup

- Peanuts

- Salads that have dressing

- Everything thats fried or deep fried

- Movie popcorn

- Diet soda if not bottled. I always prefer buying them in bottles, because my ED tells me that the waiter/sales person will give me regular soda instead of diet just to be an as***le and make me fat.

Its just plain sad to be afraid of food. -_-'

oh god. well this is definitely an issue that keeps me from becoming less obsessive and completely recovering. it's been 6 months since i was admitted into treatment at 65 pounds, only not fearing lettuce for a good 3 months. 

after impatient, outpatient, and trying just to get over this is general since gaining to a normal weight, i still have a million fear foods. 

any muffins, cookies, ice cream or sweets in general i cannot eat. it's been over a year since i've had a regular dessert or treat which makes it so hard to hang out with my friends sometimes. um anything fried i won't eat, any pizza gives me anxiety attacks, salad dressings, grilled chicken from restaurants i peel the outer layers off and rip out the insides because i still think theres oil on the top. regular milks besides almond milk and lactaid, lowfat/fat yogurts, i'm just getting over granola bars and peanut butter, bagels freak me out unless i know the cal count, eating out in general i can't do again even though i was becoming insanely good at it when i was discharged from inpatient, oh yeah and any type of drink with calories besides alcohol (which is another thing that took me SO long to get over), and then theres always pasta, red meat, rice i can do only if i make it myself, eh sugary cereals.... bananas? i dont know why..haha i'm a mess

when i read this over i realize how incredibly suffocated my ed makes me. i dont know if i'll ever get over this, i know i've come a long way already but i have so much more to do. *deep breath*

we can do it;)xx

For me, it's any food that I do not know the calorie content of. 

I'm still working on this.  I wish I'd never learned about calories, kilojoules.  And a big grrrrrrrr to Weight Watchers points, although it is a good system if you use it right!

mel_ynda: I am in exactly the same position as you...I can pretty much eat anything so long as I know how many calories it is...Ok, so I also can't eat single objects over 200 calories but yeah, but it makes going out to restaurants seeing friends SO SO difficult!  I think what I'm going to do is take myself out to a different restaurant each week, and try and eat there, and just respond to my hunger cues....you with me?

Oh and also, I will still, never EVER eat a kidney bean

Hi Theo, that sounds like a plan.  I know what you mean about going out to restaurants.  I think a buffet would be a challenge.  At the moment I'd feel like I need to weigh a portion of pasta salad, or whatever food it might be, so I'd know how many cals.

I'm the same as you.  I can eat a slice of cake as long as I know how many cals.  And once that would mean so long as it didn't go over the amount of cals I allowed myself for the day.  Now that calorie amount is higher, but I'm looking forward to the day when I can trust my hunger cues again and just eat without counting the calories in every darn crumb!

It'd be so good if everyone here were in the same location; we could all do dinner!

Oh, and I've never eaten a kidney bean.  Doesn't sound appetising at all though, and that's not ED talking

Original Post by mel_ynda:

 

It'd be so good if everyone here were in the same location; we could all do dinner!

 

hahaha: I think we'd have to set aside the whole day!  Can you imagine?!  THe poor waitress!

Heheheheh.  Very true.  It would take a very generous tip. :-)