Forty, Fat and Fed up!!

Help! I am a forty year old woman, 5'4" and I've weighed anywhere from 220-230 for the last ten years.   I am ready to lose weight and have been watching what I eat for the past two weeks. I don't know the first thing about what and how much to eat.  I've been making a food log for the last week or so on this site , I eat about 1000 calories/day. I've read some of the other posts saying that if I cut it back too far (less than 1400 calories)   I will just store the fat I have and not lose any weight at all.  That would suck! Can I just eat 1000 calories per day of low fat foods like veggies, rice cakes, lean meats and whole grains and be healthy and lose pounds?  Do I need to eat more than 1000 calories?  Should I take vitamins to supplement calcium and iron?  I'm so clueless!

Original Post by ckimber_67:

Help! I am a forty year old woman, 5'4" and I've weighed anywhere from 220-230 for the last ten years.   I am ready to lose weight and have been watching what I eat for the past two weeks. I don't know the first thing about what and how much to eat.  I've been making a food log for the last week or so on this site , I eat about 1000 calories/day. I've read some of the other posts saying that if I cut it back too far (less than 1400 calories)   I will just store the fat I have and not lose any weight at all.  That would suck! Can I just eat 1000 calories per day of low fat foods like veggies, rice cakes, lean meats and whole grains and be healthy and lose pounds?  Do I need to eat more than 1000 calories?  Should I take vitamins to supplement calcium and iron?  I'm so clueless!

Nope..... the mininum healthy calorie intake for adult women is 1200 calories per day. Your body NEEDS 1200 calories per day (or more) for your internal organs to be properly fueled and to work as intended.

A great starting place is to use the tools and determine how many calories per day your body needs (based on your height, weight, gender, age, activity level and frame size). Then, you can subtract 500-750-1000 (max) calories from that for a healthy, sustainable 1-2 pound per week loss.

Calorie Count Plus's mission is to promote healthy and sustainable weight management.... and we want you to be healthy!

=^..^= MOLLY

As for what to eat, you want a lot of fruits and veggies. Corn, remember, isn't a vegetable, really. It's a starch, and most are more trouble than they're worth. Lettuce doesn't count for much either, 'cause it's mainly water. So feel free to have all the lettuce you'd like. I read somewhere that most of the calories you consume when you eat lettuce are used just to digest it. :O

Lean meats like chicken and salmon are good. Watch out with seafood, though, because some of it has uncomfortable mercury levels.

And plenty of whole grains! Lots of commercial companies make whole grain bread, but whole grain pastas and such are a bit harder to find.

Of course, low sugar, low fat, low preservatives. Get as close to natural as you can, and your body will return the favor.

How much to eat, that all depends. Just like awesome Ms Molly said, you shouldn't have less than 1200 calories a day. If you have less than that, you will most likely gain weight. This is because when you have too little to eat (and the lowest standard is about 1200, though I've heard of plenty of 1500's) your body will go into "starvation mode". This is a stage where instead of turning the food you eat into energy, your body turns it into fat and stores it away. During this stage there's also some muscle destruction when you need fuel, and your body eats at your muscle so it can save the fat. Not good. =/

Another number to keep in mind is the 1000 calorie deficit. Whenever you exercise, it burns calories. The calorie deficit is the difference between what you eat and what you burn. For example, if you burn 2800 calories in a day through exercise and normal activity, you need to eat at LEAST 1800 calories. Slipping below puts you at risk for starvation mode, and you'll probably feel bad, because you aren't getting enough fuel.

If you haven't been adhering to the 1200c/day and the 1000c deficit rules, you'll probably gain some temporary weight when you first start. Don't give up! This will reverse in a couple weeks, and you'll be on track to be healthy and fit for the rest of your life.

Just as important is when to eat! Never, ever skip breakfast. It's bad. A prime schedule would be balanced, small meals, five or six times a day. This keeps your metabolism burning quickly throughout the entire day.

The decision of vitamins is best left to you and your doctor. If you aren't getting them in your diet, you should probably take them, but vitamins aren't really good as a substitute for eating nutrients.

Walking, cardio (fastpaced activities), and strength building (lifting weights and such) are the most popular exercises. Walking is easy and pleasant, cardio is good for burning calories, and strength building helps turn fat into muscle, and keep your skin tight.

I'm not a nutritionist, personal trainer, or any of that fancy stuff. I just do a lot of reading. :3

Good luck!

 

*edited for tiredness grammar*

And may i also add that at this early stage you should make your kitchen scale your best friend. I found that i had become so accustomed to eating large serves that i was totally shocked to see how small a serve often is. So for me that was something to really get my head around. For example don't try to guess what 45 grams of cereal looks like, just pop it on the scale and know for sure.

For your own long term health and success please try to go the extra 200 calories it will be worth it in the long run. Oh and Good Luck

Hello there, it seams we are kinda both in the same boat, and I was looking for someone else to team up with and was wondering if your interested.  I have been eating right for quite awhile now and started at 225, I'm now down to 207, but need some more motivation to get down below the 200 mark.  So I thought maybe we could email and get each of us alittle more motivated.  Andrea  Oh year hit the big 40 couple years ago too!!!

Like Andrea, I am in the same boat as well. I'm 41, 5'3" and currently at 189. I'd love to have some motivation/accountability buddies.

 Also, I'd like to say an "Amen!" to alisons post. I am an "excessive eater" profile. I started tracking my portions last month and was stunned not only to log what I eat, but also to come to grips with how big my portions have gotten over time. (Intellectually, you know you are overeating, but I was apparently quite good at kicking in several Freudian defense mechanisms, e.g. denial, rationalization, etc.)

yes!  eat at least 1200 calories a day!!!  don't worry about it hurting you.  it will actually help you to lose weight  :D

good luck!!!  this place is awesome!!!  don't be in a hurry though...  it's not a race.  you want to get to your goal & be healthy!

Hi!  I just joined yesterday, but actually started my diet (fo' real) last Monday.  I will be 45 next week, I'm 5'2" and have 192 pounds to lose (I'll save you the trouble of guestimating my current weight - suffice it to say that I weigh over 300 pounds - an all-time high for me).  Granted the last 60 pounds were gained due to a non-functioning thyroid, but I have always been obese.  Let me put it this way, my "skinny" jeans are a size 16 and I haven't fit into those since I was 12.  Here's the approach that I've taken this time:  I calculated how many calories I was consuming simply to maintain my weight and was astounded to discover that I was gobbling down about 4000 to 4500 calories per day (Hey, don't judge me.  I work full-time, have the commute from hell, and a 4-year old, so fast food was my life)!  Based on what I read on this site, I figured I could simply cut my current calorie consumption in half to begin my new eating lifestyle and still lose weight.  I also used the tools to figure out how many calories I should consume to lose weight, and the magic number is 2250 calories.  I can reduce that number later, but for now, I'm good at 2250 because I don't feel deprived and starved at the end of the day.  I've already lost 1.8 pounds and all I did was cut my calories.  I also recommend that you eat at least 1200 calories, but I've found on previous attempts at losing vast poundage that 1200 calories is simply too restrictive for me (spread that over 3 meals a day, and you can only have 400 calories per meal - that's crazy for anyone who likes food and I love, love, LOVE, cheese).  Slow your roll and opt for a more realistic calorie intake so your body doesn't go into starvation mode (just like lynnlette said in her post).  Believe me, I've been there, done that, and have the fat to prove it.

Good luck!  Don't give up!

You guys are so awesome! To be able to say "out LOUD and Honest" that I am 230 pound is so liberating, no need to sorta lie and say 180. No shocked faces, no quick glances up and down my body to see where that hideous fat hides.  Just being able to admit it makes it so much easier to address it.  Thanks for your help. and thanks for the new buddies, together girls we can do it!!  One question is there some way to 3-way an e-mail conversation?

I don't know about 3-way e-mail; it seems to be a fairly sequential system. Probably instant messaging would be a good feature for this site.

Anywho, I hear ya and feel ya! My husband doesn't even know how much I weigh, bless his heart!! I used to weigh 230 pounds - ahh, those were the days (no constant pain, nice clothes, and I could wipe my butt without wrenching my back, oy!). I've only told one person in my office my real weight (we were talking about bras and how I had a hard time finding a size 58A - don't ask), and she looked at me like I had suddenly grown 2 heads. Uhh, maybe she thought she was being complimentary, but I didn't take it as a compliment. I know I'm fat, so I wish people would not pretend that I'm not; they are not that good at acting, and I'm not that good at hiding my annoyance. I got to where I am today because my thyroid went on the fritz after my son was born. I figured it was inevitable that I would have some "baby fat" to lose, but I was pleasantly surprised that I immediately went back to my pre-pregnancy weight and life was great! But, as soon as I stopped breastfeeding, my weight started going up and up and up! I've heard of "baby fat", but geez-lueez, 60 pounds is ridiculous. I'm not fanatically religious, but I just had to ask, "Oh Lord, why hast thou forsaken me?!", and, He was like, "Whachutalkinabout?", and I was like, "Dude! Whaddup widdis?!", and, He was like, "You know whaddup widdat", so, I was like, "Yeah, you're always right; I need to take care of dis myself. My bad!".

Put your stats out there for everyone to see because that creates at least some kind of accountability. If you see yourself sliding, get online and start typing. Keep your sense of humor. It is sooo not the end of the world if you have a bad day (gee, it only took me 40 years to come to that profound realization). Tell people you are on a diet. If they care about you, they will support you and also provide another source of accountability. And when I say accountability, that does not necessarily equate to "guilt", but hey, as my Jewish friends tell me, a little guilt goes a long way. I mean accountability in the way of stopping yourself to think before you make a bad choice and gobble down a hunk of cake or help yourself to a donut (or two or three) that someone so thoughtfully left in the office breakroom. Stay focused on your goal, and never give up (that's the coward's way out). Nobody will tell you that losing weight is easy, unless they're some kind of sadistic, psycho sycophant (try saying that 3 times really fast). I expect my journey to 123 pounds to be frought with ups and downs both physically and emotionally, but I have hope (through prayer and faith) and usually that's what pulls me through the tough times. I say that because prayer and faith helped me survive a very, very horrible job that I thankfully was able to leave last August after landing another job at a much better place. Lastly, save me as a friend, but a word of caution, I have a low tolerance for whiners, even though I LOVE cheese with my whine. Take care.

Tracy

There are more than three of us. I'm 43, 5'3" and weighing in at 210 (down from 230 three years ago, although in 2005 I dropped from 230 to 185 and in the two and half years since 40 pounds have crept back on).

In the last year or two I've decided there are a few things I love about the 40s. One of which is just being able to just tell the truth. I don't pull punches or play games. If I'm irritated I either get over it, or go talk to the person who's irritating me. And I just look at the people who tell me "oh, you don't need to lose weight" until they stop talking. They're not fooling anyone. Another thing I love is that I can just let some things roll off a lot easier than I used to. A bad day, a fall off the wagon (nutritionally), oh well, it happens. Pick myself up and start again and don't look back.

There are other things I hate about the 40s. Mostly related to pre-menopausal symptoms. But also including the ever-slowing metabolism. So this time around I'm working on eating more often, like six times a day: breakfast, mid-morning snack, lunch, afternoon snack, dinner, and evening snack. And I'm gradually working on adding more exercise. A little bit at a time. And drinking a LOT of water. 

I didn't get this way overnight, and it will take a LONG time to get to where I want to be.  

I'm curious to know , what is the average menu for you  and how many calories do you consume per day?   I would like to be able to compare my daily diet with what others consume in a day.  For me, some days it looks like so much food, and other days I have four entries in my food log and I'm starving and could eat more but I've reached my daily caloric allowance.  I just would like to see what others are eating.

Well, I’ll tell you, but please don’t base your diet on my routine because each person is different. My average daily menu is spread over 3 meals (I'm not generally a snacker and if I do, I opt for something crunchy and salty, like soy chips - once you muscle past the gag reflex, they're not that bad). For breakfast, I have 2 McD's sausage burritos, 1 potato cake (they call them hash browns), and a large diet coke for a total of 740 calories. For lunch during the week, I'll either hop down to Subway for a Veggie Delight with Red Wine Vinagrette dressing, Lay's baked potato chips, and a diet coke for a total of 386 calories; or walk across the street to Uno's and order their Rosemary Grilled Chicken with steamed broccoli and mashed potatoes for a total of 956 calories. For dinner, depending on what I had for lunch, I’ll either have a mixed salad with dressing (and cheese) or pasta and sauce (with cheese) or grilled chicken and rice with cheese, being careful not to eat too much (I’ve been putting my food on my son’s plate as if I were serving him the meal – optically, it looks like I’m eating as much as I used to eat). I lika da cheese alot, so I simply cannot cut that out of my diet completely. I’m also drinking more water than I normally do during the day. I try to take my meds with a lot of water and drink water in between my diet cokes. I’ve only been at this since Monday, but I’ve been averaging about 2000 calories per day, which for me is about half of what I was consuming per day. I’m more concerned about how I did over the course of the week, than over each day, so if I go a little over 2250 one day out of the week, I haven’t blown the whole week because “on average” I’ve stayed within my set limit for the week. Thus, the scale should show that I lost weight. 

To begin my weight loss, I’ve made a choice to simply cut my calories in half from 4500 calories per day to 2250 per day.  Here’s my reasoning: First, I hate exercise. At 4500 calories, no exercise and on medication for an underactive thyroid, I was maintaining my weight. Prior to being on medication and consuming the same amount of calories with no exercise, I was gaining weight. By cutting my calories in half, still not exercising, and continuing drug therapy for my thyroid, I should be able to lose weight. So far, this strategy has been working, since I’ve lost 4 pounds since Monday. In the future, I expect that I will need to further reduce my daily calories if I continue to not include “traditional, skinny person” exercise in my daily routine, but for me, I need to take small and gradual steps, otherwise, I’ll start feeling deprived, discouraged, and depressed (I know myself so well). Did I mention that I HATE exercise? I actually hate being in pain, and exercise causes me a tremendous amount of pain. I figure that I’m carrying around 312 pounds (right now), which is more than some guys can bench press, and that’s a heck of a workout!!! When I hit a plateau, which I know I will, I’ll add walking to my daily routine, but for now, I’m okay with what I’m doing.

Now that is really interesting. The items you've listed don't look like so-called diet food at all for breakfast and lunch, but then you go real easy on dinner.  I like that!

But here's a question, and this is just a question not a criticism, I only ask because I'm trying to understand how it all works and the mindset around making healthy choices.  Aren't the McD's potato patty and the sausage burritos really greasy with a high fat content hence not a healthy choice?  Is that a good selection because then you don't have to feel deprived , or is it just that you love them and make up for it later in the day?   Just curious, no offense intended. 

I'm starting with a little less than you, I'm at 230 right now ( give or take a few )  so my caloric needs are fewer. I need 2250 to maintain so I aim for anything between 1400 and 1800/ per day. I hate being hungry and I eat when I'm bored, so I tend to munch all day long on massive piles on rice cakes, egg whites, low fat cottage cheese, fresh fruit and veggies, whole wheat bagels, english muffins and lean meats and I am getting bored!!

I wish I knew how to actually cook low calorie meals because  my family (I have 3 kids) loves things like lasagna, pizza, stew and potato dishes ( pretty much everything with biscuits, gravy and/or  cheese) Today I tried grilled tomatoes, egg whitemcmuffin, apple slices and melon balls for breakfast and it was ok, but the hubby and kids ate homemade mcmuffins with eggs, bacon and cheese.  Any ideas for ways I can prepare these meals so that we can all eat the same meal and we're all happy? 

Original Post by ckimber_67:

I'm curious to know , what is the average menu for you  and how many calories do you consume per day? 

Breakfast: Decaf coffee with cream, Special K cereal (or oatmeal), apple or berries

Lunch: V8 juice (12 oz), frozen box meal (300-450 cal), salad

Snack: raw carrots, celery, radishes, cucumbers, natural peanut butter (1 tbsp)

Dinner: Chicken or Fish, steamed veggies, salad, banana+dark chocolate, hot tea

Unlimited: water (4 L), herbal tea (tea), celery, lettuce wedges with lemon juice & cracked pepper

Occasional: cheese (usually as a garnish), tropical fruit, red meat, honey

I normally get between 1400-1800 calories per day. My "maintenance" caloric intake is 2200. My exercise regime only nets 100-400 calories per day, but I am slowly increasing it as my knees and back start feeling stronger.

I take a women's mulitvitamin and flax seed oil daily. I also enjoy the occasional guinness.

 

CK - you can have the same things they do - just not as much. I always eat a large salad before a family meal at the parental units or before going out with my friends. I find that I may eat for the taste, but I don't need to eat to be full. For example, buffalo chicken wings (fatty!): If I eat a salad before going to the bar, I will eat 6 wings with different sauces. If I don't eat that salad, I'll eat 20 wings.

Hi - I'm Wendy from Manchester, England and I am officially Forty (ish!), Fat and Fed Up. Or at least I was until I found this website today. My diet started today and I intend to lose at least 100 lbs. This forum has made interesting reading for me because I usually throw myself into things too much and was intending to limit myself to 1000 calories but realise now that I need more. My problem is that I love wine and was having several glasses a night so if I cut that out completely I am hoping to see an improvement quite quickly but I do realise I'm in this for the long haul ! Anyway, it's great to have people to talk to on here who are in the same situation. Is there anyone on here who I could add as a friend and message words of encouragement to each other every so often ? I'm off now for a few more calories - a yoghurt and a banana I think.

Kimber,

No offense taken as you are perfectly welcome to question my choices, but like I said before, each person is different (what I'm doing may not work for you or even make any sense). I'm not sure if I can explain this very well. You're right that my McD's breakfast isn't exactly a healthy choice, but I am intentionally NOT restricting myself to eating only "diet food" because I've tried all that crap before and here's what I discovered about myself: if I don't like it, I won't eat it (I have about 5 boxes of NutriSystem food that I need to go through to toss out everything that has expired). When I was on one of those low "whatever" diets, I'd start off pretty good, but I'd think about food all the time - when I could eat, what I could eat, what I couldn't eat, where I could eat. After I couldn't stand forcing myself to maintain a diet that only a masochist could follow, I'd give up. The only thing I think about now is whether or not I've met my calorie limit for the day and drinking more water.

I wish I could give you some suggestions on preparing meals for your family that you can also enjoy, but I'm not in that situation. If it was me, I would either eat fewer calories during the day so that I could eat more at dinner with the family OR load up on salad and share in very small portions of the lasagna, pizza, or whatever. Since it's just me, my hubby and my son, they'll eat whatever I cook, or else my husband can fix something else to eat. I can't worry about my diet AND everybody else's diet, too. I'm kinda selfish that way, but, hey, I'm the one who needs to lose weight. As my hubby says, "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."

That is so hilarious! My husband says almost the same thing, but he says "If mamma's happy, we're all happy"! I decided a long time ago to take care of myself , if not first , then at least last- so that my needs are met too. I am the one that needs to lose weight and so I changed my eating habits but after a lengthy drive with my 17 yr old daughter tonight I realized that I should have probably asked them how they felt about my decision to eat better. My daughter told me that if I am not hungry and am eating healthier, then why can't we all.

"Everyone regardless of weight deserves to be healthy. Why do you feel like we need to eat Pizza Pops and homemade cookies?" she asked me.

"Why can't we all have a nice fruit salad with our dinner instead of biscuits? We like prawns and salad. Just make enough for all of us and we'll see how we like it, if there aren't any chips in the house, so what! We'll eat rice crisps or grapes instead"

Out of the mouths of babes! How on earth did she get so smart?  I must be an awesome mother, nudge nudge wink wink!! ow!! I wrenched my arm patting my own back.

So I guess the whole fam damily is getting healthy. Hey, maybe our next family vacation can be to a ski hill, instead of a fancy hotel and the long succession of eateries! Gosh , dare I dream?

I completely agree about everyone eating healthy. I have to recant a little bit and confess that I do worry about what my little boy eats, and if he's eating enough, but I also worry about feeding him too much because I don't want him to get fat and go through what I went through growing up. He's developed his own sense of what he likes and doesn't like. He'll eat the veggies in his school lunch during the week, but the only "veggie" I can get him to eat at home is corn. I try not to worry too much about him getting fat because from the time he gets up in the morning until he goes to bed, he's in almost constant motion (the Tazmanian Devil comes to mind) so he's probably burning twice the calories than he takes in.

It's probably a good idea to sit the family down and talk about the changes you're making for yourself. If they want to join in, such as your daughter, or if they just want to help in supporting your efforts, that's great. However, you have to put yourself first in this regard because your getting healthy is very important. I've always been told that I needed to lose weight for myself and not for anyone else, but I'm losing weight for my DH and little boy just as much as for myself.

Speaking of vacations, my secret goal, well not anymore, is to lose 100 pounds by next year so that my husband and I can go to Hawaii. I think that's achievable. Right now, I refuse to go anywhere that involves getting on a plane! I won't be skin-baring ready by next year, but I'll at least be able to sit comfortably on the plane without having to pay for an extra seat (btw, did you see the thread about Canadian airlines policy on obese and disabled people? Some of the comments were absolutely disgusting. F'ing a**holes!)

I saw that in the news actually, I went berserk!   I flew to Ontario this past summer (I live in BC) and the seats on the plane have these arm rests right? So I squeeze my butt into my aisle seat and my hip is sort of *bulging* out from under the armrest into the aisle and every time the cart goes by I get smacked.  So I get up and go to the back to explain the situation to the attendant so she can warn me to "suck it in" or "coming through" or whatever they do for people with elbows hanging over the arm rest  and she tells me that if I "don't fit into a regulation seat" I may be asked to deplane without refund!! Can you believe it. I told her my ass fit but my hips didn't . Fortunatley the person at the window let me have that seat.  What a pain.   Especially when the average size of a Canadian  is far larger that those piddly little seats allow for. 

I am not shy getting into a bathing suit, I just would like to wear one without a little skirt  attached!!